Meet Juan Carlos De La Rosa | Facilitator and Keynote Speaker

We had the good fortune of connecting with Juan Carlos De La Rosa and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Juan Carlos, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?
I think the most powerful thing I could have ever done to impact my son’s life is to heal. It has been to focus on my own healing and giving the dark parts of me a lot of love. Breaking cycles is no joke. I’ve been able to learn the beauty and importance of allowing two worlds to exist so that I can disconnect my pains from what my child needs. I no longer give him what I wanted but rather what he needs. I was brought up in a world where I got thrown into the deep end and I had to figure out how to swim. It’s my story and it’s what now reflects the ways in which I show up for myself. However, those things don’t define me and I acknowledge that I now have the privilege of jumping in the pool and swimming alongside my son. He still learns to swim but not at the cost of our connection and relationship. So yeah, I’d say the biggest impact has come from therapy and the work I’ve had to do for myself.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
I’ve been in the construction industry for the last ten years now. Throughout my time in the trade as an elecrtiian I struggled a lot with my identity and where exactly I fit in as a man. I was making money, I was working hard, I had thick skin and yet I still wasn’t happy. I found it easy to use alcohol and drugs as a way to seek acceptance. I was in a pickle between the man I was told to be and the man I wanted to be. I became a father at twenty one and that added more pressure for myself as a provider. And what that even means. I was parenting my son based on my upbringing. As a first generation Mexican American, I grew up with a lot of adversity. I started to notice a lot of the patterns of my own youth in my son and I struggled with guilt and shame. I decided to go to therapy during the pandemic and after starting my healing journey I think it really opened my eyes to the fact that I wasn’t alone. I realized that there were a lot of men suffering in silence struggling to find safe spaces to be vulnerable. My best friend and I decided to start a podcast and document our journey as we started to challenge masculinity. We wanted to talk about the unhealthy beliefs that we’ve been subscribing to in hopes of resonating with other men and encouraging them to break cycles with us. I started hosting virtual social hours for men to get together and just hold space for one another. I put together pool tournaments and with the money we collected we used it to help sponsor a man willing to go to therapy. Eventually I decided to get trained in a nurturing father program and I now get to help father build better connections with their kids. Through reflection, accountability and community, The Modern Macho has been able to help liberate men from living their most authentic lives and bring them closer to their village.

The journey hasn’t been easy. It’s scary. One of the challenges I’ve faced is that we talk about breaking cycles but we also don’t know what the other side looks like. It’s all new and that makes it difficult trusting the unknown. I understand that it takes courage to embrace my emotions but what if it does make me weak? A lot of questions arise as I challenge the norms. I’ve been blessed with great men in my life that show support and we lean on each other during these times. Breath work has also been super helpful. I’ll journal and write my feelings down on paper as a way of reflecting and bringing myself to a present state. I can say that I’ve done enough of the work to see the fruit of the labor. It’s amazing to see how great of a relationship I now have with my village and how much of a safer, nurturing environment I’m able to create for myself and those around me. The work is doable.

I think what separates our platform from the rest is that we get it. We understand the struggles of the expectations of being a “man”. We are not here to shame or judge anyone for their mistakes but rather have raw conversations in order to begin working on the men that we’re wanting to become. I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, I’ve hurt people I love and so for me to judge someone and point the finger would be unfair. I also know how much I needed a space that saw me for who I was, held me accountable and also understood that I wanted to grow. Empathy is everything. There’s intention behind every conversation that we have in every space that we host. If we can help at least one man wi

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
I’m probably the worst person to ask this question being that I really do enjoy just being home ha! But I’d definitely plan out a lot of golfing. I’d plan out trips to visit different courses throughout California. I would make sure to visit Joshua Tree. One of my favorite places to eat and disconnect is actually Pappy and Harriets, in Pioneertown. The vibe there is always good; it’s filled with good music, good food and good people. Plus, I also appreciate that there’s no phone service. I’ve got some local sushi spots that are good as well as a really good birria spot. I will definitely be taking my best friend there. We would go to the pool hall to shoot some pool. As far as food, I’d be more inclined to plan out meals and do some home cooking; spending quality time.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Oh man, there’s so many people I owe a thank you to. My friends, my family, my son, the community that we’ve now been able to build with The Modern Macho. This whole thing would not be possible without them. I’d say when it comes to my journey of fatherhood and breaking generation cycles specifically, I want to give a big shoutout to my “Game Changers” group. Breaking cycles isn’t easy. I’m so grateful to have a solid group of men in my life that I can be vulnerable with, honest with and resonate with. There’s times where I don’t even need solutions, just someone to hold space and the boys have never failed me. I’m blessed to know that I can be challenged from a place of love and supported with compassion and understanding. I strive to be half the man that these boys are. They’re all so incredible.

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