Meet Dr. Betsy Blackard

We had the good fortune of connecting with Dr. Betsy Blackard and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Dr. Betsy, can you walk us through the thought-process of starting your business?
To be honest, my main thought in becoming a parenting coach was, “This has to get out into the world.” When I was a child, my mother became a parenting coach using the wisdom she gained from a world-renowned play therapist and her own years of experience. As I grew up, I gravitated toward jobs in preschools and other childcare settings, where I could use the knowledge she passed along. In these care settings, parents constantly asked us care providers for advice and support. I saw how lost parents were, and how badly they wanted to do a good job.

I knew that in addition to my years of experience, I had inherited a unique way of seeing and interacting with children that generated ease and mutual respect. I also knew that I wanted to understand the science of child development, to really become an expert, before taking on and expanding my mother’s business. To that end, I got my PhD in positive developmental psychology, and now I have both practical and theoretical knowledge of how parents can support children’s positive development.

Now, in addition to 1:1 coaching and in-person classes, our company, Language of Listening, offers online classes to reach as many families as possible! My goal is to shift our business from a literal mom & pop to a major operation. My main drive for growing our business is the conviction that all children should feel heard and valued, and all parents should be able to enjoy their kids and feel confident in their parenting. I know I can help make that a reality–I’ve seen it already in the families I work with. I have always had a burning drive to make the world a better place, and I know that working with families to transform their dynamics is how I can do that.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
I have a somewhat unconventional job–Parenting Coach. When I first started working with children over 20 years ago, the parenting landscape was very different than it is now. My approach of pointing out children’s strengths and searching for the source of challenging behavior so I could work with, not against, the child was often written off as indulgent.

Fortunately, the zeitgeist has shifted, and parents today are very interested in understanding their children’s healthy needs and supporting their autonomy. However, this has come as part of a pendulum swing to the opposite extreme–many parents now feel that their hands are tied when it comes to setting boundaries! They want to support their children and nurture a close, connective relationship, but lack the tools to achieve this WHILE maintaining their own rules and sanity. Through my years of work directly with children, my degree in developmental psychology, and my training in techniques adapted from the world of play therapy, I have an approach that achieves both.

But some people are still dubious. After all, plenty of parenting approaches make big promises but are too challenging or unnatural for parents to maintain consistently. In contrast, my approach works with a family’s own rhythms and preferences, and is simple to learn, remember, and implement. Plus, it changes lives and entire family dynamics–I have seen it over and over. In spite of this, and my ever-increasing knowledge of child development, I found myself struggling to own my expertise.

Obviously, work as an underpaid childcare provider and life as a grad student were not easy. However, I would say the greatest challenge of my career so far has been believing in myself enough to present myself as an expert. It wasn’t until I successfully defended my dissertation, became a doctor, and got my first ongoing clients that I finally gained the confidence to tell people I am a parenting coach, and I’m quite good at it!

Although not everyone can (or should!) earn a PhD as part of their career path, at the end of the day, I think what really changed was my belief that people would listen to me. I always knew I had an important contribution to offer, but I wasn’t sure anyone would value it. What I finally had to learn was that there will always be someone with less experience and more confidence than you, who is already succeeding at what you want to do. No amount of training can replace belief in yourself. So, although my experience and training have made me an expert, what really needed to change was my confidence that people would want to hear what I have to say. And in my experience, when you share from a place of expertise, ease, and authority, people listen!

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
My ideal week in LA involves lots of local businesses, nightlife, and time spent enjoying the sunshine!

I’m a little bit of a history nerd, so I’d make sure to take them to Idle Hour in North Hollywood for dinner and drinks one night. This is one of the oldest bars in LA and one of the few remaining examples of programmatic architecture, a staple of the early 20th century LA landscape. Other nighttime locations I love include Clifton’s, which is full of secret nooks and fun rooms to discover. I also love Good Times at Davey Wayne’s, which offers exactly what it promises–a joyful evening of dancing and good vibes with 70’s music and decor as the backdrop.

Grand Central Market is a really cool spot to grab a bite, and is close to Little Tokyo which is always good for shopping and dining. It’s also not too far from Broadway, where some of the old theaters have been maintained or restored, and we could probably catch a classic film screening at one of them. I think one day would have to be spent hitting up all the classic tourist spots, like the Walk of Fame, TCL Chinese Theater, Sunset Boulevard, Rodeo Drive, and a peek at the Hollywood Sign, along with a photo op on a palm-tree-lined street somewhere in Beverly Hills. A hike in Griffith Park and a visit to the Observatory are never a miss, either! LA is also home to world-class museums, so we’d have to visit at least one or two! Personally, I love the Getty and the Getty Villa, although the LACMA and the Broad are pretty fantastic too. I also love the Natural History Museum and the Science Center at USC. So many to choose from! We’d also definitely take in a show at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater in Highland Park, which has been in operation for over 60 years, and maintains its vintage charm. After the show, we’d be perfectly positioned to peruse all the locally owned shops and restaurants on York Blvd.

If they visit in the summertime, we’d absolutely attend the Free Shakespeare Festival in Griffith Park, where you can catch a world-class Shakespeare performance while you picnic under the stars. It is a truly magical and uniquely LA experience. We of course have an incredible assortment of beaches, from the rocky tide pools of Laguna to the laid-back surf vibes of Ventura County, so we’d have to hit up at least one of those for a beach day. Similarly, no trip to SoCal is complete without a visit to the mountains! We could explore the Santa Monica Mountains or even take a day trip to Mt. Baldy, which has one of my favorite hikes and a quaint little ski resort at the peak. Afterward, we could take a stroll through the adorable Claremont village and grab a bite at one of the delicious local restaurants.

Finally, for something really LA, I’d try to take them to the Magic Castle, although I’d have to find someone to get us in! If anybody knows someone, let me know–I’d love to visit again!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
In particular, as someone who studied family relationships, I know how crucial they can be for success, and I was blessed with an extraordinarily supportive family. From my parents, Sandy and Pat, and sister Colleen, all the way to my extended family, they have been nothing but loving and encouraging. Knowing that someone has your back is crucial for taking risks, and I know that so many, many people have mine! I also have an incredible partner, Blake Beckmann, who truly makes me feel happier and more confident in myself by the day with his support and generosity. I had a stupendous PhD advisor, Dr. Pat Smiley, who offered constructive feedback with kindness and always listened to my ideas, allowing me to flourish. I have many, many friends who believe in me. I can say with certainty that I would not be where I am today without my entire network of support, and that is exactly the kind of developmental context I want to create for every child.

Website: http://www.languageoflistening.com/

Instagram: language.of.listening

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/betsy-blackard

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LanguageofListening 

Image Credits
Nathan Russel