Meet Abby Wathen | Actor, writer, wife and mother

We had the good fortune of connecting with Abby Wathen and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Abby, have there been any changes in how you think about work-life balance?
This is a very interesting question for me. Four and a half years ago I became a mom. For many many years my career was my life, it was how I valued my self worth, it determined if I left town or not, it was whether I said yes to an adventure or not. When I became a mom everything changed and it took a few years to feel like I wasn’t upside down all the time. I’ve had to learn how to let go of things, especially expectations, and be more in the flow of life and in the now, not the what ifs. I think its crucial to try and find balance. I try to find moments of stillness, of breathing, even if that means going on a 5 minute walk by myself. When I am off balance, everything suffers. My parenting, my work, my relationships. I am always working on it and it’s a question that I am constantly reminding myself of. I think it’s so important. It’s also very tricky. I’m pretty sure it’s a lifelong “balancing” act for me.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I absolutely love the indie film world. After doing television and stage jobs I acted in my first indie film in 2005. It was called The Baxter and was directed by Michael Showalter. I fell in love with the way the set moved. I have been really lucky to make a career in indie film. I am an actor but recently I have been focusing more on writing. I am drawn to, and love telling stories about women’s health. In 2018 I wrote a film, “Trying”, about a woman trying to get pregnant. The film is directed by the brilliant Emily Alpren, and is based on my personal experience. The idea came to me in the middle of the night while I was going through the grieving process of a miscarriage. At first I doubted whether my story was worth telling, but then realized, that the doubt and the fear was exactly why I had to tell it. Too many women feel they need to stay silent through their grieving and I wanted to maybe show that you don’t have to do that. Even if ultimately no one ever saw the film. We didn’t wrap until 2022 because indie film making can be full of challenges. Thankfully the film has had a wonderful reception and we’ve been on a very fun festival run. I am very proud of how this film turned out and the conversations after each showing are exactly what I had hoped for. After every screening I am both humbled and surprised by the women and men who share their own stories of loss, and I believe there is so much healing in that sharing.

Through out my career I have definitely had some set backs and challenges. Moving to New York with 400 bucks in my pocket shortly before 9/11 was a big challenge. Not only did the world stand still, but the fear that I, and many others, felt in those months after were almost crippling. I actually ended up going back to my hometown in Kentucky and thought about throwing in the towel. But ultimately I knew I had to go back to the city, pick up the pieces and give into gratitude. New York was a changed place after 9/11, but the beauty of that city was magic. New Yorkers are so damn strong. I was inspired by an entire city’s refusal to give into fear and to insist on making beauty in the face of tragedy. I was so proud to be among those people; to be one of them. We are not promised tomorrow. After years in NYC I moved to LA for a pilot season and fell in love with the weather and the new opportunities. LA was a very different city to break into but I just couldn’t leave. I didn’t work for over a year after moving. But I kept showing up and doing the work and going to classes and auditioning. This career is mostly full of slow burns and close calls. I just know for me, I have to be an actor. I have to be in motion of acting. I believe it’s my calling. There’s never been anything else I’ve wanted to do. Will I ever be a house hold name? Maybe? Maybe not. But that’s not why I do it. It can’t be why you do it. I do it because I simply love acting. I love telling stories. I love intimately experiencing life through many different lenses. And, I love working with actors, directors, writers and the crew. They’re my people.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
There is so much to do in LA and the surrounding area. If its a week long trip we would definitely head up to Big Sur for a couple days. It is the most magical place in California. It’s actually where I got engaged. We would go on some hikes and hit the beach up there. Then back in LA I always love going to Venice beach. I lived there for most of my time here in LA. The boardwalk is wacky so you have to see that. I love to see the Hollywood sign as well. I have lived here for almost 20 years and it is one thing that never gets old to see. It is so iconic. My family recently moved to the valley and have been exploring my new neighborhood. In fact we just found a gem of a sushi restaurant hidden in the most unassuming strip mall called Little Brother. There is always a wait because it is so good. Another wacky thing I always like seeing when new people come to town is the “Urban Light” installation at LACMA, I just love it!

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I definitely have to give a shoutout to my husband. He’s my biggest cheerleader! He’s 100% supportive of my career aspirations and the biggest champion to my mothering! My long time manager Sandy Joseph at SLJ Management. We have been through it together for almost 20 years!! Talk about loyalty. As well as my agents Pam Ellis and Gaby Allabashi at Ellis Talent Group

Instagram: AbbyWathen

Facebook: AbbyWathen

Other: https://www.imdb.com/abbywathen