Meet Brendan Moran | Professional Dancer

We had the good fortune of connecting with Brendan Moran and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Brendan, what role has risk played in your life or career?
Gamblers always describe risk as a binary equation. The more you risk; the better the reward. With a career such as dance, the risk becomes your life, and it’s hard to define what you are even risking until after a decision or choice has been made. This makes this binary definition of risk even harder to assess because the formula doesn’t work for the path I am on. I think in my life risk has become taking a chance on myself and trusting myself at each present moment while lightly considering the future. Too much investment in the future can take a toll on my mental health as the implications of each choice can have an almost infinite transgression of “what if this happens?” or “am I gonna miss this?”. Stepping back and trusting myself with the knowledge I have at the moment has been my key to accepting risk. The risk is inherent and the reward is not defined, but the self-acceptance of my choices will keep me happy and thriving; that’s the important part. I have found that it usually ends up guiding me right where I am supposed to be. Although, like most of us, I will question if this is truly where I am meant to be, I generally will feel secure in my life path and risk-taking. As mentioned, risk is inherent in every choice for a dancer. I am my business and I am selling myself and my talents constantly. While advertising for myself, I also have to balance training and diversifying my portfolio with things like acrobatics, trapeze, or other dance styles. It’s selling, training, and even living that makes everything a risk. I can take classes and train all day, but I may lose all my money and wear down my body. It becomes a balancing act with making sure I am fed and alive while also sustaining my career. Near the end of my time at Pace University, I was offered a contract with a cruising company that would begin soon after graduation. I could have said no, but it felt like a great opportunity to dance while also being able to travel the world. Just days before I was supposed to fly out to rehearsals and after already paying for and finishing a sea training test, I was medically denied. The year before this, I had a rough time with my mental health and decided, with my therapist, that I needed to go on anti-depressants. I was only on them for roughly 6 months as I was getting my mental health straightened out, but that choice for myself led me to be medically denied from my cruise contract. I was completely off the medication for 6 months at the time of my medical exam for the cruise, but the company required at least a year of stability after changing or stopping psych medications. So there I was, just graduated from college in New York City with no job or prospects. I know I needed to be on that medication for my mental health and I do not regret that, but even a choice for my mental health became a risk for a job over a year later. I quickly had to get back into the grind and emailed a casting director if I could get into an audition two days later. Luckily, I was able to audition and ended up booking Cats the Musical North American Tour. I still had all summer in New York and was able to be a part of workshops, a commercial, Broadway Bares, and dancing as a featured dancer at the Chita Rivera awards. I also got to meet some great teachers and have opportunities that would never have come my way if I went straight onto the ship when I was supposed to. Even signing my contract with Cats became a risk, I was offered another cruising contract with a different company, but I had to deny it because I already signed my contract. This is just a small perspective of how risk is inevitable in every choice a dancer makes whether you know it or not. That is why I have to very lightly consider the risk, but certainly, trust myself to make the choice at the moment and most importantly trust my past self for the choices I already made.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
Like most art, my art is hard to define. Saying someone is a great dancer is like saying they’re great at business. Are they an entrepreneur? Are they great with money? Are they good at marketing? There are so many different niche aspects involved with dance and, like a business owner, I try to fall into as many categories as I possibly can. That’s what sets me apart from other dancers. In the dance world, this would be described as being “versatile”. I have particular strengths in jazz and contemporary, but that does not mean I am incapable of a multitude of other styles.

I am most excited about my move back out to Los Angeles. I lived in LA for half a year during my school’s LA semester and throughout the summer following. I took loads of classes and explored the city as much as I possibly could and absolutely fell in love with the west coast, both the dancing and living. Due to my school being primarily located in New York City, I found it hard to get the courage to take the steps toward moving from coast to coast, but I think I have an opportunity to make it happen. The best way to make and save money is through cruising contracts. They provide free living and food while you are also making money through performing. There are lots of different cruise contracts that I hope to apply for in order to save money to officially move to Los Angeles. I am scared, I am excited, and I cannot wait to be an official California resident.

I am most proud of myself for my audition with the Paul Taylor Dance Company. This is a modern company based out of New York City and I had only trained in their style for roughly eight weeks prior to auditioning for the company. I loved the movement style and figured why not! I ended up making it to the very last round of the audition process with dancers who have trained heavily in modern/ballet and I could not be prouder of myself. I consider myself more of a commercial dancer with relatively good ballet technique which means that I particularly focused on TV/film/broadway styles of movement, but I have a decent background in ballet. Though I did not “book” the job, I will be always proud that I gave it a shot and made it as far as I did. The beautiful thing about trying to make yourself as versatile as possible is it allows you to start picking up new types of movement quickly. Each teacher in your life has a range of styles within their own training, this shows in how they teach their “specialty” style. This means that some teachers that have taken a range of hip-hop styles but focus on contemporary may teach a fusion of contemporary hip-hop. Contemporary hip-hop is not exactly a “genre” of dance you can train in, but it supplements your veratility by acting as a passageway between styles you may have never connected before. It prepares you to step into any class or audition regardless of genre and still feel comfortable with the movement.

Getting to where I am today would definitely not be described as easy, but it is hard for me to say it was hard as well. Being a male-identifying and presenting dancer in the industry comes with its own unique hardships and wins. During my youth competition days, they would talk about how boys would receive “penis points” and get relatively higher scores because we were boys. It was sewn into my brain that my wins were relative to my gender and not to my talent, so I took it as a challenge. I never wanted to win just because I was a boy, but because I worked hard and deserved it. I would also like to articulate that there truly are not as many boys in the dance world as girls so we do stand out. This does translate to giving us an upper hand when it comes to attention and winning awards, so I don’t want to completely detract that being a boy does not have its benefits. This is where I think it becomes hard growing up as a male dancer. You know you’re receiving extra attention and could be glorified for having less than the other girls you are training with, but it does not detract from all the hard work you are doing. I realize all the extra attention I received and do not want to discredit that, but I want to acknowledge my training was hard. I always felt like I was second best to another male or female dancer. I would receive the accolades but feel excluded from where my teacher’s main attention was going. “I think you’re good enough to finally do a duet with X person this year” would be a phrase used. Then, a year or two later, another boy came in who she liked and the duet with x person was magically not happening anymore without any conversation. This seems like a silly example, but there were more instances like this that occurred throughout my training and I fell between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, I clearly was given a lot of attention and would be the center of routines as a boy, but on the other hand, my self-esteem was being depleted by just not being good enough. With there being not really any other boys I could talk to in my studio, I felt it was a hard position to talk to the other dancers about, so it was something I had to feel alone. I will say it benefited in driving me to be better and better. Always striving to be the best until I graduated from the competition world and moved on to college where I found a different set of standards. The phrase “dance is a subjective art form” never really clicked into my brain till I got to college. In the competition world, someone wins and points are assigned to each routine, but clearly, that is not how the professional world operates. I found that a dancer’s uniqueness and personality will transcend “technical errors”. Though tricks and having good technique are a plus, a dancer’s individuality will shine through in an audition setting. I started requalifying what it meant to be “good”, but the toll of ten years in the competition world made it hard to break. This is also not meant to completely trash competition dance; competition is great because it drives you to improve and find ways to stand out in the crowd, but I also can’t ignore the impact it has had on my view of dance.

Dance is clearly as much a mental battle as it is physical. Dance is always hard on the body; you’re moving in ways that the human body was not exactly designed for. It is your mental state and self-esteem that will push you through the challenge of training. I can assume almost one hundred percent of dancers would consider their journey hard. Each challenge and circumstance is unique, but it is their drive and mental perseverance that will get them to the professional level. It’s truly not about training with these particular people or going to the “good studio” or the “good college”; it’s your grit. Though training with knowledgeable and understanding teachers will most certainly help you, it is not a requirement to becoming a professional. I want people to know that, like every story, nothing is black and white. There’s so much nuance to my own story that I could talk about it for ten or more pages. Though I admit that dancing did come easier to me than most, it does not mean that I am devoid of hardships and effort. I have a hard time letting myself be seen as nothing but perfect and it translates to my interpersonal relationships and my dancing. I have flaws and natural responses to things that have gotten me into trouble, but it does not mean I am a troubled person. I sometimes slept through my alarm and missed class or interviews, I am forgetful, and I am anxious. On a different note, I am loving, I would reschedule my day for others, I am here to listen to my friends, I always dance full out, and I am a good follower who can lead. I am a professional dancer, but I am also a human who is perfectly imperfect; a walking contradiction. I am fearful that people will not understand that, but I can only hope that they will.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
One of my favorite breakfast and lunch spots is Urth Caffé. I feel it may be a basic choice but the quality of food and environment is hard to beat! I specifically love their margherita pizza. Shopping is always a must, so I would suggest going to Melrose Trading Post for fun and unique finds. If a marketplace isn’t your vibe then you can walk down the street of melrose to find other great stores. If you are a dancer coming to town, then check out PlaygroundLA, Millenium Dance Complex, or TMilly TV: the studio for great classes. If you love dogs, hikes, and views of hollywood, then I highly suggest taking a trip to Runyon Canyon. I always find the cutest dogs there and some great views of the city. If you’re looking for a nice beach, it’s a bit of a drive but I always would make the trip to El Matador State Beach in Malibu. The rock formations and no cell service serve as a great place to relax and just enjoy the ocean and your friends. I would also recommend taking the PCH for some great views on your journey. Before getting started on your journey to malibu, I would start in Santa Monica with some coffee from Cult. I went there with some friends and had a wonderful barista and some good coffee too! If you’re looking for a place to go out, then I would head over to No Vacancy or the Abbey for a great time. Located in Hollywood and West Hollywood respectively, they have interesting environments and great music! Lastly, if you’re looking for more of a traditional mall, then I would head to The Grove for your shopping needs. Not only is the shopping great, but they have a farmer’s market with unique food vendors. I personally love the empanada stand.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I would love to shoutout the teachers and students at Pace University for all their support. I say students, but they are truly my peers and my people. They always understood me and supported who I was. The faculty inspired me to make choices and trust those choices. They were and still are always there to lend an ear or give support if I need it and my peers are people I will always consider close friends. I could not imagine the person I would be today without them all.

Instagram: @brendan_moran_

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Image Credits
Elsa Stallings Austin Amato Jonathan Tichler thegingerb3ardmen