Meet Cris Graves | Writer/Director/Podcaster/Producer

We had the good fortune of connecting with Cris Graves and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Cris, alright, let’s jump in with a deep one – what’s you’re definition for success?
“Success” is an interesting thing. We all grow up with the same ideas thrust upon us… nice car, a house, a relationship, a job. A laundry list of “goals” to check off one by one, checks that come and go, with the ebb and flow of, well, life. But the older I’ve gotten and the more life I’ve lived, that paradigm feels like it has become a recipe for feeling like a failure or like it’s never enough. So much of what we are taught about success relies on external factors and the appearance of the status quo. The reality is, to be happy with oneself, to dig deep inside and learn to become your happy self, to no longer care what the status quo thinks, but instead become comfortable enough to share your true self, now that is an achievement. To rail against the box society has built for you to fit in, and see that each of us is a beautiful, imperfect masterpiece that was made to NOT fit in, that is success on a human level. I’ve been on this journey of discovering my happy self for several years, it’s led me to the realization that my happy place is being a single woman, with cats, of course… and being on the cusp of 52, I am well aware of my spinster status, I embrace it, it is my superpower. I’ve even written a feature film I plan to direct called ALONE GIRL – a coming-of-middle-age story wrapped in an (un)romantic comedy. And I’ve started a podcast called Blissful Spinster. Now, some might say, well that’s not success… yet. You need to get the film made or get 10,000 downloads a month on your podcast. But here’s the thing if you continually chase numbers, you’ll never stop, and you’ll never be satisfied because you’ll keep the idea of success unattainable. So, I’ve chosen to REdefine what success means to me. If I can have an impact with my storytelling or in sharing my journey on my podcast with others, if someone feels seen because of something I’ve shared, if someone sees a friend or loved one more clearly because of something I’ve shared, then I’ve succeeded, and that has already started. Have no fear, I will get my film made and I will continue to make my podcast no matter how many listeners I have because success is found in the sharing.

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
My journey as a creative began as most filmmaker stories begin… with a movie. I was eight and my 21-year-old sister took me to see Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I was hooked. After the film, my sister asked what I thought and I said: “I want to do that.” She responded “What, be abducted?” thinking I wanted to be like the little boy in the film. And I replied, “No, make that.” Somewhere in my eight-year-old brain, I had figured out that Spielberg had made this film to tell me a story, and I wanted to do that too, to be a visual storyteller. I started writing the next day.

I would eventually end up getting both a B.A. and an M.F.A. in Technical Theatre, but even as I was learning to design lighting and sets for theatre I was writing spec scripts for shows like Northern Exposure and The X-Files.

I moved to L.A. in ’96 with just a backpack of clothes, my computer and an X-Files spec… and I knew no one. Was it daunting, yes… did I love the adventure of it all? Absolutely. And so began my real journey, which went in so many directions I could never predict, including winning an Emmy for being part of the Producing team on The Amazing Race. And if your mind went there you guessed it, most of my career got dominated by this new genre of TV… unscripted. But my decades in documentary television have only made me better at my craft of writing, I have gotten to be a witness and take part in people’s real-life triumphs and tragedies and helped them tell their stories. I’ve gotten to sift through 1000s of hours of footage as we put episodes together and learned how people really speak.

And it’s all been such a great ride but about six years ago, I woke up and realized I was not taking charge of my dream. On my off time I was still writing my own stories… scripts and waiting, playing by the rules we all learned… so I sat and had a conversation with eight-year-old me, the kid who knew in her bones she was put on this earth to tell visual stories. She turned to me and said, “quit waiting for permission.” As writers, we work in our own silos and are taught that agents, managers, and studios own the keys to our scripts getting made. But, as I took an honest look at the ever-changing landscape of the entertainment business, a switch flipped. I realized I could write, direct, and edit a short film and start my own journey towards becoming the writer/director eight-year-old me dreamed of being… no permission necessary. It was so freeing, and since that revelation, I’ve made several short films. Now I’ve begun the journey to get my first feature film, Alone Girl, made. Eight-year-old me would be proud.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
There are a few things I love to do when a friend visits…

I LOVE breakfast and diners so, a trip to Cafe 50s on Santa Monica in West LA is a must. For lunch Sonorita’s Tacos on Sawtelle, and dinner Dan Modern Chinese is also on Sawtelle for yummy dumplings…Or if a good burger is what they’d like Plan Check on Sawtelle is the ticket. if you’re noticing a West LA pattern… it’s my neighborhood and I can walk to all these places which I love!

As for wondering… jumping on the Expo Line with visiting friends and going to either end of the line… Going West to Santa Monica Pier and letting them check out 4th St Promenade, then walking down to the Pier/Beach and if they’re up for it longboarding down to Venice Beach and back. And heading East on the Expo Line we can hop off at Exposition Park/USC and go check out the Natural History Museum and the Science Center.

Hoping in the car and heading north to Zuma Beach is always fun or East to Griffith Park Observatory, for both the hiking nearby and the observatory itself.

And of course, if my visiting friend happens to be a fan of movies, I like getting a couple of passes to the Warner Brothers Backlot Tour which can be really fun for both you and your visitor.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I am the artist and human that I am because of my sister Leslie.. My sister, who is 13 years older is a feminist rebellious badass that always encouraged my storytelling and artistic expression and has always been there for me. I never doubt her love and I love her beyond words (a note to my brothers – there are four – I love you all too, but we all know who the coolest badass in the family is!).

Website: https://www.blissfulspinster.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blissfulspinster/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BlissfulSpinst1

Other: https://twitter.com/pgfreek https://www.crisgraves.com https://vimeo.com/330387837

Image Credits
Bill Pruitt, Miles Rasmussen, Cris Graves