We had the good fortune of connecting with Frank Costello III and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Frank, how has your work-life balance changed over time?

Balance is everything. Without balance, we fall over in one way or another– We’ll struggle, even suffer. It doesn’t take a career in counseling and mental health to see how imbalance affects others in their lives. Just take a look around. We all know someone who at some point in their life becomes horribly imbalanced. Maybe it’s us?

Work is important. It brings us purpose, and it affords us a quality of life outside of working hours, but you still need to know when to stop, or at least take a break. Long-term problems with balancing work and life often lead to unhealthy sleep patterns, a compromised immune system, erosion of important social relationshipS— just an overall neglect of our healthiest self. We must know when to say when.

I have a luxury that many people do not. I am my own boss. I define all the terms of how and when I work. By the way, that does NOT mean that all self employed people are well-balanced. In fact, a study done in 2020 found that self-employed people are actually at a higher risk of burnout than someone who is an employee. So, creating a balance over the last 12 years of running my own business has been an interesting evolution.

From my own observation, I can easily say the single MOST important factor in work-life balance is sleep. It’s funny because sleep is the thing you’re doing when you’re not working or…. life-ing. However, you need it so badly, and you need a good amount of it., too. Without quoting a ton of literature, I’ll just say that studies do show that we need about 8 hours each night for peak performance. Personally, I set up my work schedule so that I can guarantee 8 hours of sleep whether I get to bed on time or up to 4 hours later. I rarely stay up very late, so those extra hours I have before I begin work are allocated for fitness, fun activity, or running errands.

Next, I believe having strong social connections, as well as passions outside of work helps us stay in balance. I am an athletic person, so much of the way I stay connected to my passions AND my social world is through sport. I have learned that to be consistent I also must be highly organized. So, I have very specific times and days of the week that these social activities are scheduled, and my life is more full and balanced because of it.

Lastly, in an age where remote work has become widely accepted, I have decided to take full advantage. Prior to the pandemic, I worked exclusively in a traditional office setting. Week after week I worked in the same office, in the same building, in the same city. I often would feel depressed at the lack of scenery change throughout my work week. Professionally, I felt inextricably tied to my office. What is a therapist to do if they move cities or states when they do not work remotely? They literally have to rebuild their practice. My partner and I have the advantage of working remotely (or mostly remotely), so we are quite intentional about having “work-cations”. We work and vacation for about 9-10 days at a time, and we are aiming to continue doing this quarterly, or on average of four times each year. We choose 9-10 days because we like to take advantage of getting two weekends on both sides of our work-cation week. We also thin out our schedules on this week, so we can enjoy where we are a bit more. This keeps the scenery changing, quenches the thirst of our wanderlust, and gives ample opportunity to rest and recharge in ways that are meaningful to us.

What should our readers know about your business?

I am a Licensed Psychotherapist and Consultant. In my practice, I specialize in the treatment of Anxiety disorders, but after 12 years of private practice work, I’m qualified to deal with a many other issues (depression, familial, relational, communication, anger management, men’s issues. I have a lot of client success using a combination of Positive Psychology and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I also have a strong interest and some training with psychedelic-assisted therapy.

My newest undertaking is exploring the use of non-traditional spaces to help others grow and cope with increased efficacy. Most recently I have launched The Golfing Therapist I am honestly just a golf/sports junkie who happens to be an experienced psychotherapist. I’ve always been interested in the idea of combing the two. Working with athletes is a strong interest of mine, but I am not excluding non-athletes who enjoy sports and play golf. A golf course setting provides a unique opportunity to connect with 1-3 people for about 4 hours at a time in a non-traditional therapy setting. For some people, the thought of a traditional therapy setting may seem daunting, or maybe just inconvenient. However, if they already play golf 2-4 times a month, it can be a time to learn new ways to think and cope while doing something they were going to do anyway.

You can check out more on this endeavor at www.thegolfingtherapist.com and my traditional practice at www..frankcostello.csw..com

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?

It’s Los Angeles, and there are too many gems to pick from. I would treat any friends or family from out of town to LA’s Mexican food scene. From birria street vendors to El Cholo to Loteria, you can’t miss. We would walk down Manhattan Beach and stop at Slay for a great dinner and drinks.

Of course we’d have to check out a Dodgers, Lakers, Clippers, Rams, Chargers, Kings, Galaxy or LAFC game.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?

Without the help and support of my mother, I’m not sure I would be in such good shape today. She’s has long been a rock in my life that in unconditionally supportive. Today, my partner Sara is not only the love of my life, but my greatest supporter and believer in all that I do. She is the one that has taught me that it’s ok to go after the things that you love, even if you’re not sure it if it will work out.

Website: www.path-forwardcounseling,com www.thegolfingtherapist.com

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frank-costello-lcsw-351465a/

Image Credits
Jean Paul Garcia was helped me create the logo for my company Path Forward Counseling.

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