Meet Karen Laos | Communication Expert and Confidence Cultivator

We had the good fortune of connecting with Karen Laos and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Karen, what’s the end goal, career-wise?
My goal is to eradicate self-doubt in 10 million women. It’s a big dream and an important one. Many women are missing opportunities because they don’t speak up. I’m on a mission to change that. Women are socially conditioned to second guess themselves because we’re supposed to be perfect. We fear judgment and are afraid of rocking the boat.
I want to put an end to this. For too many years, I didn’t speak up in certain situations where I didn’t feel good enough and it cost me.

My defining moment came when I was tongue-tied at a leadership meeting, and I couldn’t get the words out because I had an internal conflict with what I was asked to present.

My boss had to shut down the meeting. She pulled me aside afterward and said, “You didn’t trust your gut. You could’ve postponed this if you didn’t agree with it.” That would have never occurred to me as I didn’t think I had permission to do that. I was taught that you respect your boss and that means doing what she says.

At this moment I realized I would never let that happen again. Once I did the work to get out of my own prison and free myself, I wanted to empower all women with the tools to do it. All we need is a strategy, and I have that now, which I teach to others.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I’m most proud of my ability to ask for what I want. When I was six years old, my dad gave me a few dollars at a flea market and told me to go have fun, but never pay full price. A whole new world was opened up to me. This gave me tools for confident communication, and much of what I teach I learned through the experience of expecting that I can get what I want if I ask. My dad told me that with enough persistence and determination that I can do anything, and I believed him.
What I’m most excited about is speaking at the Chase Center in San Francisco when I start going on tour. I can think of nothing greater than a stadium-sized crowd of women feeling empowered to take their seat at the table!

What sets me apart is my deep care for people. After interviews with several clients, the resounding feedback was this: “Karen’s great with her practical communication strategies, but what truly sets her apart is how much she cares for me personally.” That was the best compliment I could ever imagine.

On stage, the theme I hear most is how conversational and engaging I am. I love this because I teach professionals how to present and I recommend that every talk be a conversation. People will feel a connectioin with you that way, and will want to listen longer!

My career has been a progression of believing I could, so I did. In all seriousness! Yet, it wasn’t always easy. I’ve been laid off three times, but you keep getting up, showing up, paying attention, and betting on yourself. I was intentional about pursuing what I wanted, but I didn’t know what that was at first.

I started my career as a temp in HR and quickly realized that what I love most is developing people. That led to me creating a role for myself as a corporate trainer and pitching that to my boss. She approved, and my love for training crystallized.

My best story was a lesson in the power of talking about your passion even if you don’t have experience yet. When I had only a few hours of training experience from my work at Gap Inc, I interviewed for an HR job and talked with great enthusiasm about how much I loved training. I got the job, and on my second day, the CFO said, “I heard you’ve done a ton of training at Gap! All of my finance managers are flying in for a conference in two weeks. Can you facilitate a training on leadership?” I immediately said yes and then thought, “I better get planning – here’s my opportunity!”

As for overcoming challenges, my faith in God and my belief in myself has sustained me.

You can overcome self-doubt and be confident, even if you don’t believe it at first. Being an influential communicator is a skill that can be learned. While I have always had confidence in my abilities, I haven’t always had confidence in myself, and that’s what held me back before. It’s overcomeable! I’m living proof.

You have the power of self-agency. Take the leap and do the thing you’ve always wanted to do. At age 50, I spent my birthday month in Manhattan because it was always a dream of mine to live there. You can do anything you want at any time in your life!

I left my corporate job at 52 in July of 2020. People tell me I’m courageous. That never occured to me. I’m just being me! I love to say “yes” to the adventure and go for it.

You can learn to stop missing opportunities and ask for what you want. I had mixed messages from my parents, as I’ve learned many others have, too. My mom was submissive to my dad in the household, but she was a powerhouse in the community. My dad was the authority in our house and you did what he said without question. He taught me to speak up, but what was modeled to me is that my voice wasn’t important unless I was adding direct value through my accomplishments.

If this story sounds familiar, you can move past this and be free! I’m rooting for you.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
San Francisco is the best city for visitors and adventure! First, for overall feel of the city, in my husband’s convertible, a driving tour of the tourist spots such as the Golden Gate Bridge, Lombard Street (the crookedest street), Fisherman’s Wharf, the view from Twin Peaks, and Chinatown.
A special treat would be to walk the Filbert Steps, a magical garden along steps with cottages between Coit Tower and Levi Plaza (my brother happens to live in one of the oldest homes in SF that borders the garden, so I’d definitely introduce my friend to him, too).

We’d stop at B Patisserie as a mid-morning snack for French pastries that sell out quicker than the first Hamilton tickets on Broadway.

China Live is a must-do for dinner. A place with the best pan-fried dumplings around with an upscale, urban feel.

We’d explore the Japanese Tea Gardens and the new Ferris Wheel in Golden Gate park, and hit the De Young museum to see the latest art exhibit. Heading to the Mission district to eat Vietnamese at Sunflower is another staple, with a visit to Salt and Straw ice cream for dessert in Hayes Valley. We’d round out the trip with a hike at the Sutro Baths at the ocean and walk from there to under the Golden Gate Bridge.

We’d pick up Boba on the way home to crash after reveling in the view of SF from Treasure Island.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Yes! Dennis Del Valle was in the thick of it with me for over 10 years as my leadership coach. He walked alongside me in my messiness and guided me to exponential growth through his kind, direct and encouraging style. I’ll be forever grateful to him for being a significant force that helped me transform my life to more freedom and confidence.

Amber Glus, my Chief of Staff, has created clarity out of chaos in my business. She’s taught me the value of structure and systems. I barely even knew what an SOP was before I met her, let alone did I use them in my business. She’s handled all of the back end operations so I can spend time doing the things I love: talking, socializing, and speaking on stages!

Website: https://karenlaos.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenlaosofficial

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karenlaos/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/karen_laos

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KarenLaosConsulting/

Other: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ignite-your-confidence-with-karen-laos/id1549605790

Image Credits
Angela Banchi Praise Santos