Meet KJ Alfrey | Actor | Writer | StoryTeller

We had the good fortune of connecting with KJ Alfrey and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi KJ, how do you think about risk?

Risk it, to get in it baby! Risk of the unknown, risk of failure, and admitting not knowing all the answers, has made all the difference for me in my life and career.

I have always played it safe my entire life. I went to college, achieved a degree, and acquired all the jobs with accolades. I focused on getting a career to make money, because I was told that was how life worked.

Playing it safe, meant playing small and always staying in a tiny comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong, I was able to get a career in post production and work at Technicolor, Paramount and Fox in Los Angeles. By playing it safe and following all the rules, I was able to learn amazing skills from very talented people. However, in doing so, I never gave myself the chance to figure out my own unique skills and talent.

I had a life that most others strive and dream of working in the Entertainment Industry in California, but I was miserable. The outside looked great, but on the inside I was so unfulfilled and felt broken. I wasn’t living a life that meant anything to me. I wasn’t living a life that was meaningful to me.

Covid eventually was the catalyst that brought me to my knees. I had been abusing alcohol and been dealing with an untreated eating disorder. I also have had unaddressed depression and anxiety for the majority of my life. I always pushed through it, refusing to get help. Working jobs that didn’t feel right to me, just exacerbated all of that. And when the pandemic happened, and everything shut down; I had never felt more alone, useless and empty in my entire life.

It was only during that time, I was able to risk giving up everything that was slowly killing me. I was mentally, spiritually and physically dying. I risked giving up the only work I had known for 14 years to get the help I needed to get sober and take care of myself finally. It was terrifying giving up everything that I had used to just survive and get through life. I was so scared giving up the only life I knew. But I risked it all, the job, the money, the life I knew, to get sober and see if I could have a chance at knowing what it was like to be happy with my life.

At 38 years old, I risked venturing into the uncharted area of professional acting in Los Angeles. I started embracing my creative passions that I had pushed down for so many years. I did not know how to do any of it, or even how to start. But I did the work to get sober and get help, and then just got to work learning. I have showed up for life in a way I never have before. I have been in films and television shows, became a SAG-AFTRA Member. I even got representation, and really started getting involved in the creative community here.

The humility at starting this at an older age than most, has served me very well. Embracing not knowing everything and asking for help in all areas of my life, has really opened myself up to opportunities I never thought were even possible for me. I am grateful for all my risks, failures and mistakes in my life today, because it has gotten me to a place in my life where I finally am free to live a creative life. And that means everything to me.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?

I feel in my heart, that being creative and sharing that with others, makes me feel useful and apart of in this crazy world. Stories have always felt sacred to me. I’ve always felt compelled to share them with whoever I can, in anyway I can. Whether that be in meetings, theater, film, writing, improv. Honestly, creativity is something I enjoy, love, and cherish everyday. It’s just who I am. I tried really hard, for a long time, to be what I thought I was supposed to be. Do the job, stay in my lane, don’t ask questions, always behave, and always choose the safest path. That did not serve me, or others ever. I get excited, revved up, and inquisitive when I am creating with others. It means so much to me when all that good, playful energy that actively comes out of me when I’m creating, is shared with others. When I’m creating with others, to make something greater together than we could on our own, it’s a beautiful thing.

I think my kindness, openness and excitement of creating sets me apart a lot of the time. When I’m creating, I’m home. Everything just makes sense. When I’m creating, it can be messy, unexpected, but there are always solutions and at the end of the day, it’s always a fun adventure, no matter what. I have been able to learn to be a team player, and it’s a gift knowing that it’s not always all about me. It’s a gift knowing that it doesn’t matter what I get out of it. What matters is what I give to it. I got to be a producer at Technicolor and learn first hand how to work with colorists and audio mixers. I got to work at Deluxe and be the person who is putting up content for people to watch. At Paramount I got to be apart of the World Wide Marketing team and get more knowledgeable about marketing. Working for Fox and Disney coordinating media and being apart of the Disney+ launch was unforgettable. But acknowledging that I yearned for more after all of that, was invaluable. And now seeing that I am more capable than I ever knew, is beyond anything I could imagine.

It has not been easy. I worked hard, not knowing how to do any of this. I had no clue where to even start in my late 30’s to become an actor, or working creative, let alone one in Los Angeles. I had to figure out how to become SAG. So I worked hard and I did it. I began with Central Casting and then took it from there. I then had to figure out how to get an agent, and I did. What helped me the most, was connecting with others and asking an insane amount of questions, all the time to everyone I could. I had to learn how to trust my own instincts through all of that as well. At the end of the day, all the advice & suggestions in the world don’t mean much, unless it feels right to you, in my own opinion. I also am still learning everyday that this is about the long term, not the short term. I have to accept that you have to love it and work hard at it everyday. Somedays you get acknowledged for your hard work, a lot of days you don’t. But I’ve learned you keep going. Little by little you keep trudging forward. You keep showing up no matter what.

I love it that I was able to change the narrative and story of my life in my late 30’s. I’ve been able to be on tv shows, in films, table reads, and commercials. I realized that it is possible to be happy in your life, that it’s not about making money at the end of the day. For me it’s about being happy and sharing that happiness with others.

I have the privilege of being in another short film shooting in LA later this summer, as well as being the stage manager for a play going up at McCadden Place Theatre this summer as well. I also have the gift of freelancing in post production as my day job to support my artistic endeavors. So even though we are dealing with the Writers Strike, I am grateful to still be working in the industry that I love so much.

This time in my life has also taught me how to really connect with other creatives. I get to work with such talented, unique and gifted people. I allow myself to learn from them and ask them all the questions. I really learn about who they are too and check in to just say hi. It’s about the connecting with other amazing human beings that gives creating all its magic for me.

I never thought that at 40, I would be starting over, and allowing myself to finally dare to do what I’ve always wanted to do. In a world that easily scares you into believing you can’t start over, it’s too hard, it’s a young persons game, I am daring to go against those beliefs. And I have found a real freedom and courage in that. All of it, all of my story, all of who I’ve been and who I am now, has gifted me with opportunities to also lift up and help other creatives. I have found that in supporting them, I find support for myself too. And in that I have found community. And within all that, I am finding a family.

I also talk to other who are just starting out and share all of the advice that I’ve been so freely given, every chance I get. It encourages me when I’m able to help others and lift them up too. I also take classes every chance I get! I take stand up at Flappers, improv at Groundlings. When I’m able, I like training with Sandra De Souza at Bernard Hiller Studios, taking sessions with acting coaches, as well as attending as many SAG Foundation events as possible. And honestly, self tape auditions, and scouring Actors Access, Casting Networks, and Casting Frontier are some of my favorite things I get to do. Lastly, events created by Ermantourage and Infolist, have introduced me to such a beautiful creative community and friends here in Los Angeles.

Today I am not focused on what I can or can’t do, but focused on what I would like to learn and where do I want to grow. Most importantly, I go to all of my friends screenings and shows! Getting to show up like that is probably my favorite part of it all. And they do the same for me, which I find so amazing.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.

I would have to take them to The Mystic Museum in Burbank. When I moved back to the valley after so many years in K Town, I found real comfort in that place. It caters to the weird, macabre, odd and spooky. Which I love! They have exhibits, like Camp Blood, 90’s Slashers and Y2Kills.

Then if you’re lucky, and have good timing, you can go there on a day that The Frankenstand is there. They have the yummiest, most clever, spooky, vegan menu ever. They serve vegan haunt dogs, among other spooky delights.

What makes these two places so special to me, are the experiences I have with the people there. Being a horror film fan, I always feel at home there!

The people there are kind, fun, silly, charming and so inviting. I mean, it makes sense that these places would be my two favorite local haunts, especially after getting to be in Queen Malvolia’s Indie Horror Film Anthology, Body Count, created by Jennifer Nangle. Getting to film my death scene in that, was one of my favorite experiences ever.

I am hoping to have many more spooky encounters as these places, as well as getting to be in more horror films! I am not a beach kinda girl – it’s dark and cool places that I love the most. So it then would also be a trio of all the amazing theatre venues in LA. I adore The Pack Theater, Sacred Fools, McCadden Place Theatre, and Moving Arts Theatre!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?

Any and all of my success in life is because of the amazing humans in my life! Of course, the biggest shout out is to a higher power that I don’t understand, but gave me the willingness to ask for help and get sober.

Major gratitude to my Family for not always understanding my oddness, but accepting all my weird. Their continued love and support in getting the help I need to live a creative, happy life, has been unbelievable. Thank you to my Dad for always taking me to the movies I loved when I was little and for encouraging me to read. For taking me to my first Sci-Fi Con as well, which started my cosplay obsession. Thank you to my Mom for always encouraging me to e creative, sharing a love for theatre and piano, and for being my biggest fan. Thanks to my Sister for always pushing me to be stronger and for reminding me how capable I am. And of course, thank you to my beautiful Step Mom Nan. Your love and kindness means the world to me today, and I’m grateful you’re my family. I also have to say an eternal thank you to Ella, who passed after I started my new life; and then Salem Bell and Mr. Sanderson who allow me to play and just be myself. They are my furkids, magical cats, and they teach me unconditional love everyday. If I didn’t mention them, they might eat me in my sleep, so I had to!

Thank you to the beautiful creatives in my life today, all of the women and men that have helped me and guided me; you have carried me and are my greatest teachers. I hope you know how much I love you all. There are now too many to list here. They’ve embraced me on my new journey and new life. They are creatives themselves, and not a day goes by that they don’t inspire and encourage me. They have always answered my questions and include me in creative endeavors where I feel so seen and taken care of. I am so happy to be surrounded by other creatives that understand that there is enough to go around for every body! Lastly, Jeff Gund & Infolist, Ermantourage, Sal Landi and The Actorhood, I thank all of you so much! You have provided me with experiences to meet other creatives, build amazing friendships and really be apart of the creative community in Los Angeles. I don’t network, I connect and make amazing friendships.

Most importantly, thank you will all my heart and soul to my mentor and godsend Claire. Joanie gave me the gift of introducing her to me, for which I am so grateful. Claire helps me stand strong and brave today, so I can be useful and live a purposeful life that I am proud of. I honestly would be dead today and not be able to live a creative life, without her.

With out all of this combined love and support, I never would have been able to get sober and start a new life. I hope I can encourage others with my story, and show that it really is never too late to live the life you dream of and that makes you happy. It is possible to start anew at any time or point in your life. I have no idea what tomorrow brings, but I am filled with curiosity and excitement at what life may bring, finally, for the first time in my life.

Website: www.kjalfrey.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/kjalfrey?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberlyalfrey/

Twitter: @kjalfrey

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.alfrey?mibextid=LQQJ4d

Youtube: https://youtu.be/aUKXTv1U8sg

Other: All my social media handles (TikTok, etc) are @kjalfrey My IMDB https://www.imdb.com/name/nm14431532/ My LinkTree https://linktr.ee/kjalfrey

Image Credits
Image 1 credit: Jassie Headshots
Image 2 credit: Charles Chudabala for Body Count: Vindication – SFX Makeup by Robert Bravo
Image 3 credit: Living the Dream
Image 4 KJ
Image 5: Jassie Headshots
Image 6 credit: Jennifer Nangle & Paul Stephen Edwards for Body Count: Vindication – SFX Makeup by Robert Bravo
Image 7 credit: The Getty for Bang Bang Betty Premiere Image 8 credit: KJ
Image 9: Jassie Headshots