We had the good fortune of connecting with Lillian Farzan and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Lillian, is there something that you feel is most responsible for your success?
Integrity has been a guiding factor in my pursuits as both a therapist and business owner. Clients and those in community with me typically report feeling connected to me due to my integrity and relatability. Though there may be an implied power dynamic in traditional therapeutic relationships, i.e “expert,” and client, I lead instead with the perspective that my client is the expert of their own life. I find that this helps mitigate feelings of intimidation or nervousness that a new client may experience.
Furthermore, I wear my “humanness,” on my sleeve as to communicate with clients that they’re not the only ones that make mistakes. This sort of self-disclosure is approached differently from therapist to therapist and oftentimes seen as a “hard no.” I find, however, when a 9am client might be feeling guilty about running late, half-joking that I was able to finish my breakfast tends to soften the moment, exemplifying that I’m human and imperfect as well.
Individuals new to therapy may come in with the “ok, I’m here, fix me,” or “give me advice,” but therapists are not these omnipotent, all-knowing beings. We’re human too. A lot of my work is rooted in showing up, providing unconditional positive regard, and being authentic. I tell my clients, “You’re in the driver’s seat and I’m in the passenger’s seat with the GPS. If I say we’ve got a right turn coming up at the fork ahead towards our destination and you aren’t ready for that, then we won’t make the turn. I may challenge you and reflect the dissonance, but you’re really the one in control here.” All that to say, I accompany clients on their personal journeys and help reflect their blind spots. It’s a completely collaborative process.
Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
I’m a social justice oriented therapist based in Los Angeles. I work with people of color, the queer community, and first generation individuals like myself. With respect to my clientele, we are often processing feelings of unworthiness rooted in oppressive systems. It can be liberating for someone who has come to believe that they are inherently problematic to learn that this feeling was actually made by design and no fault of their own. The realization can be a bittersweet one, often accompanied by grief, anger, and the whole range of human emotion. On the flip side, I’m also often celebrating my client’s wins with them. Having someone to sit and be authentic with through much of life’s peaks and valleys is truly sacred.
Regarding my professional journey and what has gotten me to this point–the road to licensure was far from easy. After my undergraduate studies, I attended the Master of Marriage and Family Therapy program at USC (shoutout student loans!), commuted all over LA County and Long Beach during my practicum studies, worked long hours for about 2-3 years with either less than livable wages or environments with questionable ethics, and became intimately familiar with burnout. I overcame these challenges through support from my community, taking breaks to preserve my own mental health, and focusing on my “why.” I feel I have a natural gift for relating to others and I’m passionate about social justice–this was my way of marrying the two.
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Whenever I have a friend visiting from out of town, I take them to Bay Cities Deli for a beach picnic–this is a guaranteed destination. If we had about a week and we’re talking pre-pandemic, I’d consider brunching at Escala in Ktown on the weekend because hip-hop would be spinning in the background, it feels like a little brunch party, and this is simply the best ambiance if I’ve got the energy for it. We might visit a jazz show at LACMA if it were summertime, or head to the Getty Museum for a picnic at their gardens. I’d LOVE to go to eighty two, my favorite barcade in DTLA’s Arts District and probably Izakaya on third for sushi in the West Hollywood area. We may also hit up Runyon, Los Leones, or Temescal to factor in some balance and great views.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I would certainly not be the person, feminist, or therapist I am today if not for my undergraduate experience at UC Santa Cruz (yes, I’m a banana slug!). If I dial it back even further, I actually followed in the footsteps of my older sibling, Jules Farzan, who attended UCSC about 5 years ahead of me. Jules is also in the field as a clinical psychologist and having someone like minded in my nuclear family has made all the difference. They continue to teach and inspire me and for that I am so grateful–looking back, I really don’t know who or where I would be without them.
As I mentioned, Jules paved the way to Santa Cruz and that familiarity helped tremendously as I was preparing for this major life change away from all that I knew. Also, UCSC has one of the most breathtaking campuses in the country–I’m talking Hogwarts meets the redwood forest–so that helps. At UCSC, I was profoundly impacted by classes like Psychology & Law (shoutout to Craig Haney), Women’s Studies, and Community Activism. My coursework essentially schooled me on institutional racism and it was there that I honed in on my passion to advocate for minoritized communities. It was also during this life stage that I was able to think critically about my intersectionality as a child of Iranian American and Jewish immigrants and how that has impacted my life’s trajectory.
Website: https://www.groundedtherapy.info/
Instagram: grounded1therapy
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lillian-farzan-01989363/
Other: grounded1therapy@gmail.com
Image Credits
1. Sina Rezvanpour 2. Jordan Ring 3. Sara Rezvanpour 4 + 5. Garey Quinn