Meet Lily Liu Chan | Photographer, Writer, and Knitter

We had the good fortune of connecting with Lily Liu Chan and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Lily, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?

One of the most important things I’ve done as a parent is to be less than perfect. Ok, let me rephrase that. It’s important that my kids see that I’m an imperfect human being who accepts that she’s imperfect but who also always tries to do better. I don’t want my kids to think their mom is perfect, because then maybe that means that they’ll think that they also need to be perfect. They see me get tired, get frustrated, mess up. But – and this is a big “but” – they also see me try to take care of myself, to try to calm down when I start to lose it, and to acknowledge when I do make mistakes. When they were little, sometimes I’d do things that would make a parenting expert cringe. I’d get irritated after the tenth time of telling them to quiet down, or I’d be worn down from a long day of momming, and then I’d lose my shit. I’d yell at them or get “that tone” in my voice that might seem a little scary to them. I think any parent out there knows exactly what tone I’m talking about! Anyway, they’d start crying or – even worse – start to withdraw, and I’d feel awful. So I’d acknowledge gently to them that I messed up. I’d tell them that I’m sorry I yelled and that no matter what, I loved them and would try not to yell at them again. They’re teenagers now, and I still do this. Because they’re older and I think they can handle it, I also share with them some of my bigger mistakes and how I’m trying to do better. A huge one was when I told them that I was going to stop drinking because I knew I had a problem. When I had that conversation with them, I half expected them to look surprised and say, “I had no idea you had a drinking problem,” but their reaction was totally different. They hugged me and told me they were happy I was going to stop drinking. This just about killed me. It made me realize that my kids weren’t clueless and that even if I didn’t consciously know it, they had noticed – and had probably been impacted by it. I’ve been sober for over two and a half years now. My kids know it hasn’t always been easy, and they are so supportive and encouraging. One time, my son said offhand “you used to always smell like alcohol.” When he saw my hurt expression, he gave me a big hug and said, “I love you, Mommy.”

All of this to say, I don’t want my kids to think that I’ll love them only if they’re always well-behaved or only get straight A’s. I want them to know that I‘ll love them no matter what. And that they should love themselves, too. By being less than perfect, I get the chance to show them that I acknowledge it and try to be the best version of myself I can be.

It kind of works out beautifully because I could never be perfect even if I wanted to be. And that’s ok.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?

I think that one thing that distinguishes me in my field is my energy. I love what I do, and I think it shows. There’s a lot of talking and chatter and laughing during my sessions. I love meeting new people, and I’m genuinely curious to know more about them. What’s your story? Where did you grow up? If I’m working with kids, I ask them what their favorite color or superhero or food is. With the older ones, I ask them how school is or ask them what they’re into. Is it soccer? Art? Some new band I’ve never heard of? And what’s so great about Tiktok? Inquiring minds want to know – even middle-aged inquiring minds who may not get it because they’re too old!

I’m most proud of the fact that I’ve stuck to my guns. My style of photography isn’t for everyone. Yes, I’ll do the more traditional posed pics with everyone smiling at the camera, but I’m really down for the unexpected moments, those tiny, “in-between” moments when my clients aren’t really paying attention to me and don’t think I’m paying attention to them. As a photographer, I really live for the moments that are unscripted. Those make for the sweetest, most authentic photos.

How did you get to where you are today professionally. Was it easy? If not, how did you overcome the challenges? What are the lessons you’ve learned along the way.

When I started my business, I was a full-time parent to my two kids. At the time, they were 2 and 4. Prior to having them, I had a corporate job but stopped working to care for my first child. Both he and his sister were born with an inherited blood disorder that required at least one parent to be available to attend to their medical needs.

As my kids got older and their health stabilized, I started to think about returning to work outside of the home, but I knew the job would need to be part-time and very flexible. I also felt that while I loved the company I had left, the work I was doing there was not something I felt truly passionate about. I had a degree in art with a concentration in photography, but it had never occured to me to try to work as a professional photographer. It just felt like a part of a life I had left behind, so picking up the camera again was both terrifying and liberating. Also, the industry had changed so much since my art school days I wasn’t sure if I could keep up – or if I even wanted to. As an art student, I shot only on film. The idea of shooting digital seemed sacrilegious. But it didn’t take long for me to realize that digital photography had so many practical benefits over film, especially when it came to my style of taking portraits which tends to be more photojournalistic and candid. Shooting digital allows me to take more risks with lighting and composition, and it also gives me a greater chance of capturing those candid moments I love.

There are so many lessons I’ve learned in the 12 years I’ve had my business. One is that I have to be authentic to who I am as an artist. In the very beginning, I would try to take the photos I thought people wanted. Around the holidays, I’d set up props and backdrops because families seemed to love them, but then I’d realize that wasn’t my jam.

The other big lesson I’ve learned is that running a business is hard. There are times I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. I’ve booked too many shoots or spread myself too thin and then groaned as I realized I’d have to be up all night editing, but I’d grind through it. Also, making a living as an artist means that you have to deal with the un-fun, non-art stuff like bookkeeping and insurance and follow-up emails. It can be boring, but it’s what’s needed to run a thriving business.

I’ve never thought of myself as being a brand, but I guess I am. I have only ever been able to just be myself, so I guess that’s my brand? I’m energetic and a bit frenetic, and I’ve lived many different lives. I grew up all over the place – I was born in Iowa, moved to Georgia when I was seven, moved to Singapore when I was 14, and came to LA to go to UCLA. Go Bruins! I’ve been here for almost 30 years now, and I consider myself a naturalized Angeleno. And though I studied fine art, I actually left the field and worked in other areas for a while after college. I’m a classically trained singer, and I spent some time dabbling in the music industry. I did musical theater when I was younger, but then I stopped getting cast after I got too many tattoos. Back in the 90s, the easiest roles for Asian women to get were strippers, girls from islands or other exotic places, or prostitutes (hello, Miss Saigon!), so the costumes were often pretty revealing and not really compatible with being heavily tattooed. So I moved on to other types of singing. I did some session work and had my own band for a while. Eventually I got tired of the scene and tried to buckle down working in corporate America. I went through tubes and tubes of Dermablend covering up my tattoos! As you know, I eventually came back to my roots as an artist. I guess you really can go home again. I still sing, but only around the house or out karaoking.

Aside from singing, I love poetry. I’m one of the poetry editors for Southland Alibi, the literary magazine of the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program, and it’s wonderful seeing all the great work out there. I consider myself a New Formalist poet, and I love writing villanelles, though the sestina is growing on me. I enjoy the challenge of writing about difficult subjects within the tight constraints of poetic form.

I also love knitting, in particular knitting vegetables. I’ve been a knitter since my mom taught me the basics when I was a little kid. For years I knit the usual stuff – scarves, hats, bags, etc – but I got bored and decided to start freeform knitting. That’s when you knit without a pattern and do a lot of improvising. I like to knit vegetables and poops, but my favorite knitting project ever is when I knit my friend Dan’s two resected colorectal polyps. Thankfully, they were benign, but for whatever reason, the idea of them just tickled me, so I knit them. They’re pretty well-traveled, too. I have pictures of them at the Grand Canyon, and when Dan and his family went to France last year, he took them along. There are pics of them at the Eiffel Tower and in front of the Mona Lisa. I even knit little polyp-sized berets for them so their polyp-y heads would stay warm!

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Ooo, that’s a tough one! In no particular order, I’d take them to Venice Boardwalk to do some people-watching and see the badass skateboarders in Dogtown. I used to skateboard, but I’ve never been able to do tricks, and I’m in awe of people who can – including my kids! Two of my favorite shops are close to DogTown, so I’d take them there as well. One is Animal House, a vintage clothing shop, and the other is Small World Books (self-explanatory). While we’re in the neighborhood, we’d head down the street to Abbot Kinney to browse the shops and maybe grab a bite to eat at Gjelina. If they’re up for a day at the beach, we’d go to Santa Monica near Tower 28, grabbing some burritos from Holy Guacamole to have a picnic. If they wanted to keep it local, we could take a leisurely morning walk to Playa del Rey beach from my house and have brunch at Playa Provisions. For dinner, we could walk the two blocks to Cinco if we wanted a sit-down meal. If we were in the mood for something more casual, we’d hit up 123 Pho. For a fancier tourist day, I’d take them to Century City Mall for shopping and dinner at Hai Di Lao followed by boba from RedStraw.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?

I’d like to dedicate my shoutout to two people. The first is my husband Vince. We’re polar opposites – he’s quiet and reserved, and I’m loud and can be extra. Very, very extra. Being married to me hasn’t always been a picnic, and I know that. He lets me be me, and I know that no matter what, he’ll always be by my side.

I’d also like to dedicate this to my dear friend Jenny. She has been an inspiration to me in more ways than I can enumerate. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders and occasionally also a royal pain in my ass. In short, she’s been the best friend I could ask for.

Website: www.lilychanphotography.com

Instagram: @lilychanphotography

Other: www.uclaextension.edu/southland-alibi

Image Credits
Lily Chan Photography Dan Chung