We had the good fortune of connecting with Melissa Robinson-Brown, Ph.D. and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Melissa, what role has risk played in your life or career?
I think risk is necessary to living a life that feels fulfilling. However, I’m all about healthy risks. There’s a difference between being impulsive and taking a calculated gamble on something.
I’ve always taken risks in my life. Perhaps it was putting myself out there as 1 of 2 girls in grade school that preferred football over hopscotch. So we stood amongst all of the boys as they chose people for their recess football team. And we got picked pretty often. Or maybe it was when I dyed my hair for the first time. Or when I moved to Australia for 6 months to study abroad, immerse myself in a new culture, and have a lot of fun. Or the time I shaved the sides of my head before a major job interview and worried that perhaps I wouldn’t get hired, but then thought f-it, if they don’t like me for me, then I don’t want to work here (they made me an offer…I turned it down). Or when I shaved off all of my chemically relaxed hair and was pretty bald for a few months as I grew out my natural hair. That time I dyed my big beautiful mohawk blue and purple. Or when I quit my secure, leadership role at a major hospital in NYC to pursue my own business and work for myself. I’ve also taken risks in my relationships with my husband with my friends.
But with risk comes SUCH great reward. I can’t say every risk has worked out the way I would have liked. And quite frankly, when you go against the norm and do things outside of the ordinary, people always have something to say. But part of being willing to take risks also means constantly working on yourself to develop a sense of confidence and ego strength so that when the risk doesn’t work out OR if people judge your behaviors, you can continue to stand in your power and be grounded in your strong sense of self!
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
I run a two-pronged business. The first prong is Renewed Focus Psychology Services, which is a badass, client elevating, women empowering, health and fitness driven private psychotherapy practice based in NYC. We see women who are wanting to feel like badasses both personally and professionally. We also work with teens and their parents as they navigate the big emotions that come along with adolescence.
The second prong is my personal brand, Dr. Mel, where I do speaking, workshops, and consultations with various individuals and organizations. My mission is to help women level up when life’s structure doesn’t fit. So often we are forced into molds, trajectories, and ways of life that just don’t fit for us. We struggle to stay in those places while suffering and wearing ourselves down. Instead, I want women to feel empowered to chart their own path. To do it their way, in a way that works for them, and still brings feelings of success and balance in whatever way that is defined for the individual or organization.
Proudest moments: In 2020, Renewed Focus was awarded the BeyGOOD grant, which was an initiative born of the collaboration between Beyoncé and the NAACP to provide assistance to businesses so they could continue to serve communities of color during the pandemic. It was a competitive grant with thousands of applicants and our business was chosen to receive one. We used that money to help offset the cost of services for individuals seeking us out for therapy.
In 2021, Dr. Mel was chosen as the Keynote Speaker for the Fall 2021 Essence Wellness House. I was asked to give the “Mountaintop Motivation” to kick off the entire series. Essence Wellness House was founded in 2019 as part of the annual Essence Music Festival in New Orleans.
I started my private practice in 2014 as purely a side hustle. A good friend of mine encouraged me to just “hang out my shingle” and see what happened. Great things happened. I was able to sustain my side hustle for 3 years while working my full-time job. Then in 2017, after having my 3rd child and getting ready to return from maternity leave, I experienced a deep sense of dread. I didn’t want to go back. I couldn’t see myself continuing to be in a very toxic, racist, sexist, environment that truly cared nothing about the people who worked there. And while I was constantly busting my ass and trying to make my way up the academic ladder, my job was not supportive. Nor did they care about my growth. They cared about numbers. I was just another number. I couldn’t keep doing it to myself or my family. So I made the decision to quit. I had SO MUCH anxiety as I went in while on leave to tell them I would only be coming back to close out my cases, but I was essentially handing in my resignation. Suddenly, my side gig needed to become my only gig. I needed to grow a profitable and sustainable business. And my own story inspired the Renewed Focus mission as well as the birth of my Dr. Mel brand. I didn’t fit in academia or hospitals or any place that psychologists worked. As a black woman, I didn’t think the systems were set up for me to succeed. I watched white men with far less experience get chosen over me again and again. While my yearly reviews were always stellar and showed me having nothing to improve. So why wasn’t I growing? Why was I working so hard for no reward?
No, this journey has not been easy. Looking back, I endure quite a bit of trauma working in the institutions I worked in. From being told by a parent that their child with OCD couldn’t see me because I had dark hair and dark skin, to my white training director telling me that I’m intimidating to colleagues calling me racist slurs behind my back. So being told to wait my turn or that I couldn’t be someone’s supervisor cause that’s just not how it worked here. I’ve had so many challenges, many emotional, a number financial discrepancies in salary based on gender, and some the ongoing struggle with being a mom and trying to build a business. And recently, as a business owner, dealing with contractors’ lack of integrity and inability to deliver on promises. I’ve cried a lot.
But I am CONSTANTLY working on myself. Always. I know that I have to be secure in myself. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m a badass and I can do hard things. That my feelings and emotions are temporary and I can work through them because I’ve done it before. I have to remind myself to relish in the wins. I was just approved as a WBE (Women’s Business Enterprise) business, which means I have a national certification that will put me in position to hopefully give back more to my community. That’s a huge accomplishment. I focus on self-care. I workout 5-6 days a week, try to eat healthy 80% of the time, and enjoy a good cocktail when I want it. I spend time with my family and friends so business doesn’t fully take over. It’s a constant work in progress and I believe that people have to always be working on themselves to change, grown, and find their sense of happy.
Along the way, I’ve learned that the microaggressions I questioned were indeed microaggressions and they aren’t ok. I’ve learned that I always lead with integrity and others don’t. So I have to be careful and put extra protections in place. I’ve learned that I need to take breaks and listen to my mind, heart, and body. I’ve learned that it’s ok to be sad or upset if something doesn’t work out. It doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful. It means I’m human.
I’ve learned that I have anxiety and I need to work to manage it so it doesn’t interfere with my functioning. I’ve learned that I am far from perfect and I don’t want to be. I’ve learned that my kids really enjoy having mommy be more accessible.
I want the world to know that what you see is what you get. I truly believe in authenticity! So what you see in an interview, on a stage, on a website is exactly what you will get when you meet us or work with us. I also want the world to know that we love to have fun and want you to do the same. This brand is an edgy, funky, out of the box brand. We love bold beautiful colors and lots of energy. We want to bring that to you and your organization. So seek us out and let’s work together! Or if not, let’s at least connect on social and support each other!
Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
We would do things in NYC and Jersey.
In NYC, we’d visit Central Park and do a carriage ride; go to my favorite steak house, Del Friscoes, Take in a Broadway show, love me some Wicked and I heard Jessie Williams’ new show, Take me Out, is delicious to see. Drinks on rooftops are great, especially during the summer. I love 230 Fifth, Mr Purple, and STK Rooftop in the Meatpacking District.
We have to go to Brooklyn cause I just love the vibe there. Sugar Cane is one of my favorite spots for dinner and great drinks and the Woodlands has a great brunch! I also discovered a new place/event called Cups & Convos which has adult game nights. The Royal Palms Shuffleboard Club is also great for games/hanging out.
In Jersey, Montclair has some great restaurants. La Rocca, Faubourg, Porta, and Ani Ramen are some of my faves. We also love the rooftop at MC Hotel. Montclair Art Museum has great exhibits and a walk through Brookdale Park is always a great time.
Jersey City is also a great hangout with great spots like Kitchen Step, dullboy, and Corner Bar for a local spot with good drinks.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
My husband, AB! He has ALWAYS been my biggest cheerleader. No matter what I’ve wanted to do to try, he encourages me, shows up, holds my tears, and relishes in my victories.
My business besties, Donna & Ajita. Without them, I honestly don’t know where I would be.
Website: https://iamdrmel.com ; https://arenewedfocus.com
Instagram: Iamdrmel
Linkedin: Iamdrmel
Twitter: Iamdrmel
Facebook: Iamdrmel
Image Credits
DAG Images Whatsgrit Dexterity Productions