We had the good fortune of connecting with Suzannah Weiss and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Suzannah, where are you from? We’d love to hear about how your background has played a role in who you are today?
I am originally from New York. I have a varied background and worked in academic publishing, psychology research, tech marketing, and online editing before I began freelance writing in 2015. I earned undergraduate degrees in cognitive neuroscience, gender and sexuality studies, and modern culture in media as well as a masters degree in sexual health, all of which inform my writing, reporting, coaching, and sex education. I first entered the sexuality field by writing about sex and relationships for various online publications, and I began doing sex education and coaching so that I could work more closely with people. I now hold multiple sex educator certificates, including a certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). Additional training in yoga, mindfulness, trauma, and somatic sexology informs the holistic approach I take to my work.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I have recently been very busy completing my first book, Subjectified, which details the adventures I’ve had as a sex/relationship writer and how they have helped me overcome objectification as a woman. I have several other books in the works. I also frequently write articles on gender, sexuality, relationships, wellness, and psychedelics for publications such as Glamour, Men’s Health, and Double Blind. As a sexologist, I complete interviews with journalists nearly every day to provide my expert take on sex and relationships. I also teach courses on topics such as childbirth, pleasure, orgasms, and autism and provide one-on-one coaching for people who want better sex and relationships. In addition, I volunteer as a sexual assault counselor and support people who are pregnant and giving birth as a doula. I am currently working on my masters in clinical psychology with the goal of becoming a psychotherapist and doing more one-on-one work to help people improve their sex lives.

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
I am a writer, multi-certified sex educator, sex/love coach, sexologist, birth doula, sexual assault counselor, and more. I have published over 8800 articles (available at https://muckrack.com/suzannahweiss) in publications including The New York Times and The Washington Post. I have a book about sexual empowerment coming out next year, Subjectified, which you can now order!

I began my freelance writing career in early 2015. I was working in tech marketing and wanted to do something that was more fun for me, so I started writing articles about my experiences with dating, relationships, and gender and submitting them to publications and blogs. There wasn’t really a method to my madness; I just spent all the time I had on nights and weekends researching websites, hunting down editors’ contact info, and sending them everything I could write.

Just as I began getting my first paid publications, my company laid off a bunch of people including me. I thought I’d get another job in tech to pay the bills, but my writing began taking off. I applied to a bunch of part-time jobs and ended up doing regular news writing for several websites, as well as some content writing for tech companies. I said yes to basically everything — even if something wasn’t quite up my alley, it helped me get discovered. I ended up working as a regular writer for sites like Glamour, Refinery29, and Bustle and an editor for Teen Vogue, Vice, and Complex.

However, a chronic illness and an awakening via psychedelics led me to give a lot of that up several years later, and I began writing more for myself, including more personal essays, in-depth articles, some poems, erotica, and several books that are in the works. I also realized I wanted to work more with people, which led me to train as a sex educator and a doula.

When reflecting on lessons I’ve learned along the way, two opposite ideas come to mind. I would say the lesson that got me through the first half of the journey I just described was about hard work and discipline and letting go of limiting beliefs about what you’re capable of. I remember, during my first ongoing writing job, being asked to write three articles in six hours and thinking that wasn’t possible. By the end, I was taking on multiple jobs like this per day and publishing 10-15 articles a day.

I realized that a lot of the time we spend doing things is really time spent thinking about them. If I stop thinking about what I’m going to write and just write, I become much more productive, and the writing isn’t really compromised. Just getting down whatever is in my head is the first step toward figuring out what I want to say, then I can go back and edit it later. We make things so much more complicated for ourselves by building tasks up in our minds and dreading them. They don’t have to be that painful or time-consuming. The belief that they will be painful and time-consuming makes them that way, because then we procrastinate, take breaks, go on social media, etc. instead of just doing them. I also learned to stop making excuses for myself, e.g. that I can’t work because I’m feeling tired. Dealing with a chronic illness that left me tired many days taught me to stop judging my work and assuming it’s not my best just because I’m feeling out of it. Some of our best work actually comes out of us on those off days. Non-judgment in general is a valuable career skill; even what you think is not your best work, others may love. Be proud of it all.

The second lesson I learned, which I’d say got me through the second half of this journey, is about the value of play for our work. I have taken risks and done things that did not seem like they would benefit my career, and they very much did. The idea for my first book randomly came to me at a music festival. The idea for my second (which is still in the works) came to me in an ayahuasca ceremony. I’ve also gotten a lot of inspiration for my work from traveling, reading books, having conversations with people, and just laying in the sauna. A few years ago, I felt inspired to spend a summer taking creative writing classes and wrote some of my favorite poems and stories. Even though a lot of it has not yet been published, I trust that it came to me for a reason. Some ideas for my career, such as training in somatic sexology, randomly came to me in dreams and I just went with it, which really shaped the work I do. So, I think the overall message there is to do what lights you up, and opportunities will flow from there. And trust the random ideas you get. The more you trust them, the more you’ll get.

And do not take what you’re doing too seriously. My mantra is, “I make money by fucking around and making cool shit.” That feels much lighter and less constricting than “I am trying to be the best” or “I need to get things done.” I try to remember that my first and foremost job is to fuck around. To have fun, go on adventures, and explore. The specifics of my work flow from there: How can I fuck around today? What cool shit can I make today? You can approach the exact same task from that mindset or a mindset of “I have to get things done.” If you think of every task as an extension of your brightness and creativity and playfulness and silliness, as a way to express and celebrate yourself, it’ll come out cooler and you’ll enjoy doing it much more. If it seems really boring, make it fun for yourself by doing it while you eat chocolate, or have cats next to you. I suppose that’s my integration of both the opposing lessons that I’ve learned!

     

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
I love Venice Beach, so I would take a visitor for a walk down the Venice Beach Boardwalk and/or the Santa Monica Pier. Perhaps we’d also shop on Abbot Kinney or Montana Avenue, or check out the Venice Canals. I’m a big fan of long walks, so I’d probably enjoy doing all of that at once. I also might take someone to one of my favorite spas, like Beverly Hot Springs Spa or Tikkun Spa. A hike in the Palisades or Griffith Park would also be cool; I enjoy the Griffith Observatory. I also might take someone along with me to check out spiritual events like cacao ceremonies, breathwork groups, or yoga classes.

What should our readers know about your work?
Readers should know that I am here to help them! I have a free resource for people with vulvas wanting to improve their sex lives, my email course The Orgasm Cure. I also teach a number of video courses ranging in topic from childbirth and pleasure to sexuality and autism. You can also feel free to contact me about 1-on-1 sex and love coaching, writing mentorship, PR consulting, or doula work!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I would like to give a shout out to my agent Alice Speilburg of Speilburg Literary Agency as well as my editor Karina Jákupsdóttir and the rest of the team at Polity for bringing my book to life! Please support me (and women) by ordering it here!

Website: www.suzannahweiss.com

Instagram: instagram.com/weisssuzannah

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzannahweiss/

Twitter: twitter.com/suzannahweiss

Other: My Meetup group, where I lead cacao ceremonies and discussions about sex: https://www.meetup.com/la-spiritual-intellectuals/

Nominate Someone: undefined is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.