Meet Xander Bernstein | Screenwriter, Neuroscientist, Climate Activist and Philosopher

We had the good fortune of connecting with Xander Bernstein and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Xander, have you ever found yourself in a spot where you had to decide whether to give up or keep going? How did you make the choice?
I think the phrase “giving up” should be struck from our lexicon because it sounds really bad. Quitters give up. You’re not a quitter, right? But if you charge through life with blinders on, even if you get what you want you might be miserable when you do. I’m a screenwriter, and my profession is famous for being emotionally abusive. It’s often quoted that there are more players in the NFL than working screenwriters in Hollywood. And unfortunately, your commercial success in this field is often more about luck than hard work or even talent. I’ve known plenty of writers smarter, more gifted, and more driven than I am who burned out, faded away, or moved back home to get a “real job.”

I’ve been writing screenplays for more than 20 years, and I’ve reached a level of skill that I’d call professional. My scripts have won contests and generated meetings, but I’m still nowhere near being able to make a living that way. It’s been an exhausting road filled with a lot of tears. So this question – how to know whether to give up – is one I’ve spent a lot of time with. How can you decide whether to cut bait on your dreams?

Every time I face a crisis, I ask myself “Why am I really doing this?” And for me, it’s because I absolutely love what I do – so much that I can’t imagine being fulfilled in a world where I’m not making art. You need a reason that comes from your heart, because if the answer is purely something external (like money, status, or a parent’s approval) you’re going to be unhappy in the long run.

So maybe you’re motivated by a desire to help people, or achieve perfection in your craft. Once you find that inner drive, ask yourself honestly if there are other ways to satisfy it. I love writing for TV, but I can find similar satisfaction writing podcasts, novels, and poetry. Maybe one will bear more fruit than the others, and I have to be open to that possibility.

One final thought – sometimes fatigue, family, or finances compel us to press pause on our dreams. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break, whether it’s for a day, a month, or ten years. When you return, you may feel recharged, and have a whole new angle of approach. And if you do choose a different path, remember it’s not the end of the world. In my opinion, your most important goal should be to build a life that you’re proud of. Become a person that you’re proud of. The rest will work itself out in the wash.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I started writing screenplays at age 12, and I quickly found a passion for writing science fiction. But I wasn’t sure I could make a career out of it, so I got a degree in microbiology. I spent over six years as the lab manager of a large neuroscience lab at UCLA, where we looked for cures for spinal cord injury, brain injury, and major depression. During that time, I honed my craft on nights and weekends, and when I could spare the time I worked various crew jobs on short films. After I left the lab, I researched and wrote podcasts for Spotify on a range of topics from Bigfoot to bubonic plague.

It took me a very long time to be able to call myself a professional writer, and it’s been one constant struggle to build a career in the field of my choosing. There’s no entrance exam, or secret gate that gets you into the club. You write, you network, you battle insecurities, and you write some more. And in truth, my success is not my own. My scripts had been finalists in a few screenwriting contests, but the first time I actually won was with a script I co-wrote with my incredible wife, Dunja Vitolic.

If you can find a collaborator who is smarter than you but also emotionally compatible, it’s like putting an afterburner on your brain. My writing has improved dramatically since Dunja became my writing partner, and our strengths are absolutely complementary. We write grounded sci-fi television shows about complicated families. We tell stories about real people (often LGBTQ) under incredible pressure, striving to be better and often failing. Because that’s what life is. You fall, pick yourself up, and try to do better next time.

I’m extremely proud of our last pilot Temporal, which won last year’s Save The Cat! screenplay challenge. Every time I read it I smile, because it really is a great piece of writing. But I also remember all the other scripts I wrote that ended up in the “bin,” never to be viewed again. That’s a lesson that I always share with younger writers. Finish your first script/book/etc. Show it around. Be proud of it. Then put it down and get to work on the next one. Most of what you write will never see the light of day, so learn to love the process.

Dunja and I are currently seeking representation, but we’re not waiting for it to happen. We’re currently putting the finishing touches on a new pilot and scripting an audio drama we plan to produce independently. And when those are done, we have another five projects lined up in the cue. Write, polish, repeat. And don’t forget to have fun along the way!

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
There’s so many cool things in the LA area, and there’s something for everyone. I love parks, so the Huntington Library and Descanso Gardens are at the top of my list (especially in winter, when they do Enchanted Gardens). The Getty Villa is just incredible, and afterwards you can walk the 3rd Street Promenade and chill at the beach. There’s also a neat and strange museum called the Museum of Jurassic Technology. Google it! For dinner we could do fancy pizza at L’Antica Da Michele in Hollywood, LaLa’s Argentinian Grill in Studio City, or La Paella in Beverly Grove. Or literally any sushi place in the Valley. We could finish off one night with ax-throwing in North Hollywood, or drop in on one of the Science and Entertainment Exchange’s events where you can have your mind blown by a real-life quantum mathematician. If they dig music, a trip to Amoeba Music is definitely a must. And lots of brunches. Cici’s in Tarzana or Bea Bea’s in Toluca Lake are my go-tos.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I have so many people to thank for helping me become a better person. My amazing wife Dunja always believes in me when my own faith lags. My parents and mother-in-law are all role models and constant sources of wisdom. The folks at Citizens’ Climate Lobby have helped shape me into the kind of person who stands up for justice, and is unfazed meeting powerful people. And my mentors at New Acropolis have encouraged me to think deeper about myself and my place in the world. And my kick-ass writing group is always ready with honest feedback when I’ve got a script that needs work. There have also been numerous books that have shaped my thinking, and individuals who have been mentors, allies, and champions in the entertainment industry. I couldn’t list them all here!

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/xander-bernstein-741b734b/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/XanderBernstein

Image Credits
Dunja Vitolic, Rachel Dawn Lincoln, Ann Rushton, Claire Bernstein