Meet Dawn Asher | Creative Producer & Founder of The Olive Jar

We had the good fortune of connecting with Dawn Asher and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Dawn, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?
I sat with this question for a long time. Like, weeks. I used to think my kids would just remember my worst moments in conflicts (because I’ve had them), but I’ve been grateful to learn they remember so much more.

The most important part of conflict I’ve shown them has nothing to do with holding my tongue or staying calm or making all the right moves…I’ve made the most impact in the repair part.

What I’m finding is that my kids remember the repair part most, and it’s where we all actually grow.

When I’ve lost my patience and acted out (due to a long list of my own stuff…), I do sit with them, look them in the eye and ask all the questions before explaining away my problem. I ask them to tell me what they just experienced, how they felt, what they need. I don’t argue or minimize those feelings away. I respond with understanding, own what I can own, and I apologize, ask for forgiveness. I share what I can do differently next time. Most often I can tell they just need to know it’s not their fault that I made a mistake. If I leave them feeling unheard and hanging with our unresolved conflict, it causes a real disconnect they can’t make sense of–and THEN they end up acting out of a core need that hasn’t been met. Ughhh, it’s a mess! My kids need to know they’re seen, loved and we’re connected no matter who made the mistake.

The impact has been super clear to me, especially with my 8-year-old. When we’re reconnected, she has so much more security and self-confidence for later, when she needs to bring her personal conflicts to me. She’s learning she CAN tell me when she’s been struggling with something, hurt, or has made her own mistake. Because she knows the end result will always be forgiveness and reconnection. That she doesn’t have to do this life thing alone. Does she hide things? Yes, she’s 8. But later in life she’ll have more memories of me holding space for messy things than not.

There’s a part 2 to this answer, and I’m not sure how to segway, but oh well. I’ll just go for it. Conflict in marriage.

When our kids have witnessed a conflict between my husband (their dad) and I, witnessing the repair process has been essential to their feeling safe at home. We’ve learned how to take space, reconnect to repair and show a part of that repair to the kids. We check in, ask them about what they experienced, how they felt, etc. And we remind them mom and dad work through our conflict too, that we love and forgive each other.

We both believe the repair they witness in us as a couple is the roadmap we’re giving them for later in their own adult relationships. One day they’re going to have their own super complex lives, and the world will tell them to just assert themselves, shout all their opinions as Truth. What I see missing in today’s narrative is a commitment to humility, listening well, and changing unhealthy behavior. As partnering parents, we’re really proud that we’re modeling the challenging but rewarding work it takes to love each other well, and actually build something better from our conflicts.

It hasn’t been an overnight success, but this is what conflict kind of looks like in our home today and it works for us. It’s most often not perfectly done. By the way, that same 8-year-old was once 7 years old when she came down the stairs in the middle of our New Years day argument and gently encouraged us, “Um, maybe you guys should take some space.”

20 years from now, I can’t wait to hear what my kids say about my answer to this question. Ha!

What should our readers know about your business?
I started The Olive Jar out of a need I saw rising in the travel industry. The Olive Jar is a creative concierge service specializing in design, hospitality, and marketing for visionary Airbnb hosts. Our secret sauce is helping hosts reinvent their rentals into 5-star getaways that foster belonging. It’s not just poetry, we’re truly filling a gap in the short-term rental (STR) industry.

Our goal is to reverse the trend of isolation that our global community faces. We empower STR hosts to elevate their guest experiences in a way that promotes deep connection and greater intimacy within all types of relationships.

From experience we know hosts are BUSY though, and sometimes they simply need turnkey creative solutions.

This fall we launched The Olive Jar Signature Superhost Kit, our turnkey offering for hosts who want to provide customized, high touch hospitality without the hassle. It’s a set of six (6) originally designed, travel courtesies that will WOW. Seasonally themed and customized to every host’s brand look with local highlights, each experiential touch point guides their guests to make the most of their getaway in creative, unforgettable ways.

We also understand that hosts who value these creative, connective touches need support.

There are so many platforms, podcasts and courses offering hosts resources around investing strategies, number crunching and STR operations; but, there’s a huge gap for support around the CREATIVE part of hospitality. So while The Olive Jar is a service, we’re also now building a community of hosts who share our same values and want to connect regularly.

We have a Facebook group for daily support, and once a month we meet over Zoom for our Creative Hospitality Mastermind sessions (free to participate). This is a connective space for hosts to get refreshed, inspired and tap into their most creative self as host. And we make it clear, these are essentials to building your brand as a business.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
If you’re visiting Pasadena…grab a coffee at Lavender & Honey and walk the historic neighborhood, Bungalow Heaven, where more than 800 craftsmen homes will make you swoon. Take a hike in Altadena, like Echo Mountain or Millard Falls. Ask for “The Sandwich” at Roma Market. If you’ve got kids…take them to Pasadena’s backyard, Cal Tech, to scooter around, see the turtles and lily ponds. And finally, most definitely get yourself a seat at Agnes Restaurant & Cheesery for wine & charcuterie at the bar–and hit it for brunch the next day.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
Mosaic, the community of faith I found almost 20 years ago here in LA, and from which so many mentors have come; My recovery group who taught me “progress not perfection”; business coach Nada Jones, founder of Liberty for Her; some key ladies who have supported me in big career/mom life shift these last few years, as fellow entrepreneurs, collaborators, cheerleaders: Lisa, Sofia, Carrie, Bree, Tiffany, Betsy, Emilie, Sasha and the Badass Boss Ladies text chain (the name stuck).

Website: www.theolivejar.co

Instagram: theolivejar.co

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theolivejar.strcreativehospitality/

Pinterest: @theolivejarco https://pin.it/41UHWZW

Other: SHOP: https://www.theolivejar.co/signature-superhost-kit

Image Credits
Tonic Studios LA