We had the good fortune of connecting with Shideh Shafie and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Shideh, do you disagree with some advice that is more or less universally accepted?
We are often told to compromise in our lives, as a way to be happy, but I disagree. Compromise often leads to a lose-lose situation, this is true in relationships, business, goal setting, and many other aspects of our lives. For example, in our family when we plan our family vacations, we will go all in on one person’s dream vacation, and the rest of us will have the opportunity to practice enjoying somebody else’s dream, knowing that our time will come to have our dream vacation in the future; as opposed to choosing something that works for everyone but no one really loves. With my clients, we apply this same concept to their career goals. One of my recent clients didn’t love the company she was working with, didn’t like the city she was living in, and wanted to do a slightly different job, she thought she had to change one piece at a time. I challenged her to do it all in one big sweep — to not compromise on any of her and her husband’s dreams, and push herself to make all the changes she wanted to make. She now lives in a great city, has an awesome new job, and didn’t compromise on what she really wanted, she went all in on all her goals and she accomplished them. Compromise is for classrooms, and other spaces, where we need the group to all conform to a common goal, compromise is not a life philosophy.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
I started my business after seeing so many amazing professionals get to the top of their game in whatever industry they worked in, have families, and create lives that looked like they were fantastic from the outside, but they weren’t satisfied or happy. What I have learned after helping many of these folks is that defining our own personal values and then creating a strategic plan to live into those is critical for our happiness as high-achievers. As driven professionals, we have conditioned ourselves to derive satisfaction from achieving goals, which is great when we are clear on the metrics to measure our success, but it can be exhausting and damaging when we are unclear about any aspect of our goals. Before starting a family, many of my clients are fine balancing it all but throw in a couple of kids, and the goals and values change, but the metrics often don’t — this is where coaching can make all the difference.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
For me, a great vacation includes great food, great beauty, great deep relaxation, and physical activity. One of my pro-tips for starting any vacation is to schedule a massage within the first 24 hours. We all know that feeling when it is hard to unwind and get into vacation mode, it usually takes us a few days- a massage accelerates the process. Our body holds tension and the stress of our busy working lives, a massage releases that tension and allows us to slip into relaxation-vacation mode right away. I also love to start the day with a walk, hike, tennis, or a group workout class. Starting your day with movement creates energy, and it also brings balance to the tendency to overindulge in food and drink on vacation.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
My shoutout goes to my parents, and countless other immigrant families that I grew up with. My parents are immigrants from Iran, my mother was 33 years old and my dad was 44 years old when they moved with me and my brother, ages six and one, to the United States. From them, I learned that all things are possible with commitment, dedication, and resourcefulness. My parents spoke little English, and my dad’s first job here was as a gas station attendant. With no formal English education, he and my mom built a successful business and real estate empire starting from very little. I learned from their example, that some things can be taught through formal education, but some things just require tenacity and courage to fail and get back up and try again. In the small university town I grew up in, I saw countless immigrant families who were part of my community live these lessons over and over. A certain amount of faith and courage is required to leave your native country and create a life in a completely different environment with little familial support – I am grateful to have witnessed this courage and faith in many first-generation immigrant families.

Website: www.shidehshafie.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shideh.shafie/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shideh-shafie-570064123/

Image Credits
Stephanie Alvarez Monica Whitt

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