Meet Tyana Tavakol | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (#134156)

We had the good fortune of connecting with Tyana Tavakol and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Tyana, have there been any changes in how you think about work-life balance?
Work life balance as a pre-licensed therapist is, oof, a constant work in progress.

For one, you have the expectations on you from clients. You feel pressure to have your email and phone near you in case a client calls and they’re in crisis. Then there’s a need to be on the alert in case a new client contacts you to consult about starting therapy and you want to reach back out as soon as possible before they find another therapist.

Second, you have the expectations on you from your supervisors and bosses. You need to likely hit a minimum number of clients and do the paperwork on time. On top of that, pre-licensed therapists get at minimum half of their profits given back to the practice they work for as a way to pay for being under another person’s license and part of someone else’s practice. You likely have two jobs with two different supervisor and boss expectations so you can financially stay afloat.

And of course, the expectations of the people you love to spend time with them and connect with them.

It’s a lot. And it may seem not that bad, given that many therapists don’t work more than 20-25 hours a week instead of your typical 40 hour work week. However, it’s 20-25 hours filled with people’s most vulnerable, heavy, anxious, distressing stories. By the end of the week, your emotional and compassion fatigue is very much there.

So, naturally, when I first started this work, having no idea how to manage all this, I burnt out. I burnt out hard. It’s not that this field doesn’t emphasize self-care, but they emphasize it by saying, “Maybe take a bath once a week” or “Have you tried meditating?”. As activities by themselves, great, but enough to fix burnout? No. I could tell I was burnt out because I dreaded going to work, I dreaded having sessions, and I withdrew socially. I felt like there was never enough time and I was resentful.

And then, I saw this phrase which really changed my whole perception of burnout: “Burnout does not get fixed by taking a break. Burnout gets fixed by re-structuring the life that got you to burn out in the first place”. And I felt like I got the key.

Since then, I’ve done a lot of restructuring, and my work life balance has felt amazingly satisfying. Instead of checking my emails every 10 minutes, I have certain hours at the beginning, middle, and end of the day where I have 30 minutes set aside to go through everything. Instead of feeling the pressure to go above and beyond the minimum client quota I’m expected to hit at each practice, I’m realistic with how many clients I can see in a week. Instead of allowing myself to fill every free night with a hangout, I have scheduled “Tyana Time” where Monday nights, Friday afternoons, and Sunday evenings are reserved for time for me and anything I want to do, no obligations to anyone else. And lastly, I started tracking how my energy fluctuates throughout a day, so I could know how to schedule clients depending on the times of day I’d have the energy they would need from me.

Work-life balance will constantly be a work in progress. But to anyone who gets told to just breathe more, I’m here to tell you, it takes so much more than that. As daunting as a re-structure sounds, if you’re at the point where you feel overwhelmed, it’s 1000% worth it.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
My career has gone through a lot of different phases. I thought I wanted to work in entertainment in LA and did some marketing internships with Fox and NBCUniversal while at UCLA, but turns out, really not for me. Then I did digital advertising for 6 years, 4 of those years as a program manager at Amazon. Also, not for me. It’s so confusing when you get a lot of positive feedback from the people around you about your work, but you just really don’t feel happy with what you’re doing.

I ended up where I am because, on a mission to solve my confusion with not feeling fulfilled where I was, I looked inward. I’m someone who’s very regret driven, meaning, will I regret this on my death bed if I don’t do it? If so, I have to do it, no matter how life altering. And so, three years post-corporate work life later, I’m an Associate Marriage and Family therapist! I always loved psychology, I’ve been a nerd about reading any psych book I could get my hands on for as long as I could remember. After my own therapy to work on my childhood trauma and frequently ending up in bad relationships, I fell in love with not just psychology concepts but the process of therapy itself, and I knew I wanted to at the least try and see if I could enter the therapy field.

Changing industries was rough. I went from one where I knew what I was doing and got a steady paycheck, to one that was entirely new and filled with unsteady summer months where people’s vacations and joy lead to you having a few months of an empty therapy room and wallet. But it only takes one session with a client to remind me why this is worth it for me. The fulfillment from those a-ha moments with clients, seeing the progress in their lives, there’s just nothing like it. I feel lucky to be privy to people’s hardest moments and stories, and to be in a field where I get to learn about myself and others on a constant basis. Especially being now a childhood trauma and anxiety specialist, I love bringing my tools and knowledge into the room in a way that can make a difference in someone’s life.

I don’t regret the choice I’ve made. As difficult as it was to make the switch, I would do it 100 times over. And for anyone else deciding to make the leap in a career change, don’t wait until you reach a point in your life where you have more years to look back on than to look forward to. If you have the financial backing to support yourself in the rough times like I was very fortunate and privileged to have, and you feel more excited about the risky option than the one you’re in now, you’ve already got me supporting you to take that leap!

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Los Angeles is notoriously not the best place for tourists, because honestly, the tourist areas are trash. Hollywood Blvd? Absolutely not. Ocean Park? Nope.

To give someone a good experience in LA, I would show them how to enjoy LA as a local. And, I’d teach them how to measure distance in time instead of miles for their travel time, an important LA skill.

One of the days, we have to explore the beach areas. I’d likely take them to Hermosa Beach. It’s less crowded than the others, cleaner, and less touristy. We can grab lunch at Manhattan Beach, where there’s so many great food options like Manhattan Beach Post. We could end the day walking around Venice, with its cute artsy stores and the Venice Canals, it’s a fun place to explore. To get one more beach in, I’d end the day driving along PCH and stopping for dinner at Malibu Seafood Fresh Fish Market, with great views, cheap prices, and tasty seafood.

Another day, I’d show them more of the westside spots. We could grab coffee and a pastry from 85 degrees bakery in Westfield Century City and do a walk around the mall. The people watching is phenomenal, and you really get the feel of LA people and stores here. We would then walk grab lunch at the Culver City Citizen Public Market. I love their food option varieties, and you can even mix it up with wine and oysters and then share a pizza. For a bit of nature, I’d then take them to the top of the Baldwin Hills Scenic Overlook to get a full view of LA. If they’re active, we could climb the stairs. If not, there’s an easy drive up. I’d end the day with a dinner in Sawtelle, likely at Daikokuya or Marugame Udon.

As much as the planner side of me could spend hours creating a full-detailed itinerary, I’ll cut myself off here. LA can be a ton of fun. Part of the fun is exploring all the neighborhoods since they each have their own culture. And while this itinerary is filled with the westside options, I wouldn’t discount the eastside options like Pasadena, Silver Lake, Glendale, Thai Town, or even just further inland from the westside with West Hollywood and Melrose.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Kerry Rogers, LCSW definitely deserves a shout out. I worked with her as my therapist in my burn-out time period, and she helped me start figuring out how to re-structure my life. I appreciate her offering sliding scale slots so I could afford sessions with her, since pre-licensed therapists don’t tend to make a lot of money and ironically can’t usually afford to see a therapist. Thanks to her for helping me find my way back to feeling energetic and fulfilled in my weeks!

Website: https://www.therapyinbeverlyhills.com/staff/tyana-tavakol-amft/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cptsdthrivingwitht/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tyana-tavakol-93b50141/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4znAFNIvEHM