Meet SJ Hodges | Writer. Widow. Grief Influencer.

We had the good fortune of connecting with SJ Hodges and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi SJ, why did you pursue a creative career?
I grew up in WV and was raised by a very religious family in a fundamentalist, country church. So I was the crazy, artistic, black sheep of the family, always shaving my head or declaring I was a Buddhist or something that made everyone nuts. I knew, by the time I was five years old, I had to get out of there.

The summer after high school, I saved up $3,000 working as a lifeguard and moved to NYC on a one-way ticket. Within six months, I was working as an actress and back-up singer, shows at Carnegie Hall, The Paramount, BAM, doing some studio work. But there was this night, at Madison Square Garden, when I realized I was miserable being on stage. So I quit and got my BA in Drama & Religion then my MFA in Dramatic Writing, both at NYU. Stepping on the 7th floor at Tisch, I was like, ahhhhhh, here’s my tribe. I wasn’t an actor or a singer – I was a writer. It’s like I finally made sense.

At Tisch, I took a TV class with agent Beth Uffner and she described the characteristics of a “showrunner.” I remember thinking, “She’s describing me.” But my plays took off and a screenplay got optioned, so TV got put on the back burner. Then a Broadway producer named Marty Richards started sending me out on story missions and one of those missions was to interview a DC political fundraiser who’d left President Bush to work for Bono. Marty took her story to Darren Starr and he said, “You need a book” so we pitched it to Random House and they bought it and then I had to write a book. I was totally intimidated by the size until I realized – it’s just a 400 page monologue, I can do that.

Fifteen books later, I was a ghostwriting memoirs and self-help books for celebrities – which was great, I loved it. The only downfall was the isolation. I’m social and writing books, you’re alone. All the time. Friends kept encouraging me to write for TV. Finally my dear friend Julia Cho said, “Just apply for the Humanitas.” I did and remarkably, I won. Suddenly, UTA signed me then I got staffed on “The Player” for NBC, which was an amazing opportunity to cover set on a big-budget, network show. I got very, very lucky – I’m one of the last staff writers who got to cover set before everything went to Zoom rooms and mini-seasons. That production experience is how I ended up running Season 2 & 3 of “Guidance” for Awesomeness TV. I literally jumped from a staff writer to a showrunner, skipping all the steps in between. I’m really grateful I had the WGA Showrunner Training program to help me navigate that leap.

Shortly after I delivered Season 3, my forty-year old husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. We did all the things – surgeries, chemo, radiation – nothing worked. We lost him in January 2019. At the time, I had a blind pilot deal at CBS, but I was obliterated emotionally. There was no way I could run another show – I would have made everyone miserable. So I packed up my daughter, left LA and we moved to Hawai’i. For the next five years, we traveled the world, studying meditation & yoga in Bali, ceramics in Thailand, plant medicine in Peru. We worked with healers and therapists to process our grief and I ended up teaching yoga & mindfulness for The Marines.

It took a while to start writing again but eventually, I did. My first project back was my online memoir called UNEVEN GROUND, where I blogged about our travels and shared our healing journey through social media. It kinda took off in a surprising way. My IG has become an online community for grievers – and the blog was published as a memoir, also titled UNEVEN GROUND.

Now my daughter and I are back in LA. She’s a tremendous visual artist who needs access to all that LA offers to creatives. There’s really no place like it. As for me, I’m developing a supernatural teen drama with Kung Fu Monkey and finishing the second book in the UNEVEN GROUND series. I don’t know what comes next for us – but I’m eager to write our next chapters.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
Obviously, the biggest challenge has been the death of my husband and producing partner, Clayton Hodges. I shuttered our production company after he died and really questioned whether I’d ever work in Hollywood again. Chasing Emmys? Status? Prestige? Applause? Money? None of those things mattered anymore. My priorities shifted completely – from career to motherhood. My daughter needed my full presence – and honestly, I needed her too. On the bad days, she was the only reason I got out of bed. And there were lots and lots of bad days. I would joke and say, “I used to run television shows and now, I can barely run the dishwasher.”

It took a long time and a lot of hard work to heal from that loss. Not that the work is done – healing is a life-long process and grief never really leaves you. It just kind of latches on and walks behind, following like your own shadow. But I do think, as an artist, you learn to work with that grief to create something beautiful, something bigger than your personal pain, something that will ease the suffering of others. And I don’t think that’s a choice. If you’ve been given talent, training and access, then it’s your responsibility to share those gifts. Believe me, I really wanted to hide away on an island in the middle of the Pacific scooping ice cream for the rest of my life. I had no intention of ever writing again. But then…I’d hike and hear a sentence…and I knew something wanted to be expressed.

Somebody said, “memoir is an act of service” and I think that’s true. When we share our stories, we act as a guide and a healer for those still deep in the struggle. Sharing our story, UNEVEN GROUND, has been profoundly healing and has resonated with so many. Readers reach out with their own personal stories of grief, losing a parent, losing a spouse, dating while widowed, raising a child that’s grieving. We speak about forgiveness, faith, healing and hope. I hope I’m creating a conversation that changes the fears and secrecy of grief and loss, because everyone will die. Everyone will lose someone. Death is the great equalizer – it’s coming for everyone. And maybe, in our grief, we can find a common ground that unites us in our sameness rather than dividing us for our differences.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
BREAKFAST:
You gotta have breakfast (and the homemade coffee-cake muffins) at Nat’s Early Bite in Sherman Oaks or those outrageous pancakes at Bea Bea’s in Burbank. I’m also a big fan of the biscuit sandwich at Lemon Poppy Kitchen in Glassell Park. Those biscuits are for real – and I’m from WV so that’s a serious endorsement. They have a nice outdoor patio too.

HIKES & MEALS:
I’m a hiker so I like the early morning push up Coldwater Canyon Park. There’s usually a famous face hiding under a baseball cap on that trail. Brunch at Harvest Moon Kitchen in Valley Village after. There’s also a weird little hike on the Occidental campus called Fiji Hill where the views over Eagle Rock are surprisingly good. Then you can go have lunch at Cindy’s Diner. And these aren’t hikes, they’re walks but I also love all the murals along the Chandler bike path in North Hollywood (grab a slice from Republic of Pie) and the Great Wall near LA Valley College then eat at The Sushi by Jin on Laurel Canyon. They do AYCE or by the dish – and they always bring additional free food to your table.

SHOPPING & LUNCH:
Native Boutique in Eagle Rock. The owner will help style you and the prices are really reasonable. Eat at Fish on Rice Sushi & Ramen after. Check online for the dates of Sample Sale Friday downtown in the Fashion district. Yes, it is utter chaos but also super fun, then grab tacos at Guisados after. I love a lunch & shopping day on Sawtelle – Japantown – you gotta have soup dumplings and then buy t-shirts.

THINGS TO DO:
Get a Korean Body Scrub at Wii Spa. Go during the week when it’s less crowded and enjoy the whole day there. Their restaurant is also good. Grab tickets to an Angel City Football game. It’s so cool to see all the little girls cheering in the stands. Go see a show at The Greek Theater. It’s so much easier to navigate than the Hollywood Bowl. The Brewery Art Walk only happens twice a year but it is amazing and a must do. The weekend food court at Wat Thai then walk around the temple. Just remember they only take cash. And for a splurge, have dinner at Inn of the Seventh Ray then a show at Will Gear Botanicum in Topanga.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
The Humanitas New Voices Fellowship definitely changed my life. I was the sole female winner my year and Carole and Cathleen just did everything in their power to help me secure representation and set up face-to-face meetings with showrunners. The program is a mentorship program for emerging television writers who are exploring the human condition in a nuanced, meaningful way. They choose five writers every year and it’s one of the few real apprenticeships in Hollywood. It was the tipping point for me to actually land my first staff writing job.

Website: https://www.uneven-ground.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sjhodges_writer/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/constantcreator/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheBeachWriter/

Image Credits
Prayer and Ceremony photo taken by Wari Om. All other photos taken on my phone. Logo for Uneven Ground designed by Valerie Burroughs.