Meet Ali Dilley | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Small Business Owner

We had the good fortune of connecting with Ali Dilley and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Ali, can you tell us more about your background and the role it’s played in shaping who you are today?
I’m from a working-class family in rural Illinois, where survival came before self-care and emotions were often pushed aside. I grew up queer and closeted, living with undiagnosed neurodivergence and complex PTSD, without access to therapy or the language to understand my experiences. Even as a child, I carried the weight of keeping things afloat—managing emotions, anticipating needs, and doing whatever it took to maintain a sense of stability in an unstable environment. I am the quintessential perfectionistic, responsible, and driven eldest daughter.

Growing up in the home and community I did shaped me profoundly. How could it not? It instilled in me a strong sense of responsibility, a deep awareness of systemic injustice, and a calling to support others in navigating pain, identity, and complexity. I didn’t grow up thinking I’d become a therapist, but I knew what it felt like to carry too much too young, to be the one holding everything together, and to long for spaces where it was safe to fall apart.

While I’ve undoubtedly benefited from the privileges of being white, able-bodied, and holding other forms of social capital, I wasn’t handed much in terms of financial security or generational support. I’ve had to fight for every bit of stability and success I’ve built, and that tension between privilege and scarcity has deeply shaped how I move through the world. I am a survivor—and I’m committed to not just surviving, but thriving. That’s why I care so deeply about making therapy accessible, affirming, and rooted in liberation. My upbringing taught me that healing is never just personal—it’s political, communal, and deeply sacred. I do this work as someone who has walked through the fire and chosen to carry softness on the other side.

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
My career has been anything but linear, and honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, educator, and practice owner based in Long Beach, CA. I specialize in working with neurodivergent, queer, and highly sensitive folks navigating trauma, neurodivergence, and the deep work of coming home to themselves. I blend evidence-based practices with deep intuition, parts work, somatic approaches, and a lot of compassion.

What sets me apart? I think it’s the way I hold space. My work is deeply informed by lived experience — I’m neurodivergent, queer, and a survivor myself. I know what it’s like to navigate systems that weren’t built with us in mind. I bring that awareness into everything I do, and I think my clients feel that. They feel seen, not just treated. I’m also committed to being real in the room. Therapy with me isn’t a clinical performance — it’s relational, warm, and honest.

Getting here wasn’t easy. I grew up working-class in rural Illinois with a lot of unspoken struggle in my household. I was closeted, undiagnosed, and didn’t have access to therapy myself growing up. By the time I got to grad school, I was broke, exhausted, and full of imposter syndrome, but I was also determined and believed in myself. I worked in community mental health for years, burning out under the weight of underpaid, unsustainable work, before finally taking the risk to start my own private practice. That leap felt terrifying at the time, but it changed everything.

I’m proud of what I’ve built — not just a business, but a space where people can be fully themselves, without apology. A place where therapy is queer-affirming, neurodivergent-affirming, HAES-aligned, sex and sex-worker positive, and rooted in liberation. I want people to know that healing doesn’t have to look one way. It’s allowed to be messy, nonlinear, intuitive, and even a little weird.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned along the way, it’s that you can build a life that feels good to live in, even if the blueprint didn’t exist for you growing up. That’s the story I’m living, and that’s what I try to help others find for themselves too.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Oh, I love this question! I’ve lived in Long Beach for about nine years, and I’m so proud to be part of this community.

If my best friend was visiting for a week, we’d start with coffee at CoffeeDrunk (woman-owned and cozy), then spend the afternoon thrifting on Retro Row and browsing Bel Canto Books. For food, we’d hit Seabirds for plant-based comfort and definitely stop by The Attic for the hot Cheeto mac & cheese at least once.

We’d take our full bellies and new books to the bluff at Bixby Park to rest in the sun with an ocean view, wander along the Alamitos beach trails, and maybe catch a sunset dinner at Plunge. For something artsy, we’d check out MOLAA or the Long Beach Museum of Art. At night, we’d hit Alex’s Bar for live music or head to Sweet Water Saloon (the best lesbian bar) to dance.

Long Beach is full of soul, good food, and the kindest people. It’s impossible not to fall in love with it.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
Absolutely — so much of who I am and what I’ve built has been shaped by the people who showed up for me in ways big and small. I want to start by honoring my wife, Arden — your love, patience, and grounding presence have sustained me in more ways than I can count. Thank you for believing in me, especially during the seasons when I struggled to believe in myself. I’m also deeply grateful for my family, and for my closest friends who have become my chosen family. Your support, laughter, and unwavering encouragement have carried me through the hardest parts of this journey.

I want to shout out the clients I’ve had the honor of working with over the years. Your courage, vulnerability, and resilience continue to inspire me and push me to grow as a therapist and a human. I have so much love for you all.

I also want to recognize the neuroqueer community — especially healers and survivors — who’ve modeled what it means to live authentically and love radically, even in the face of adversity. My work is rooted in that lineage.

And on a professional level, I’m endlessly grateful to the mentors, professors, and supervisors who saw potential in me when I wasn’t sure I saw it in myself. Dr. Rebekah Smart and the faculty of my graduate program believed in me before I believed in myself. I wouldn’t be here without them.

There are so many people, books, and ideas that have shaped me — bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Dr. Laura Brown, to name just a few — but this work has always been a collective journey. I carry all of them with me.

Website: https://www.alidilley.com

Instagram: @himynamesali

Other: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/alexandria-dilley-long-beach-ca/897464

Image Credits
Photos by Branding by Kaysha. https://www.brandingbykaysha.com/