Meet Ashwin ‘Xenai’ Shenoy | Renaissance man, Actor, Musician, Model, Writer, Music Producer, Audio Engineer and Recording Artist

We had the good fortune of connecting with Ashwin ‘Xenai’ Shenoy and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Ashwin ‘Xenai’, what led you to pursuing a creative path professionally?
I’ve lived inside my head for as long as I can remember; zoning out during conversations, projections of the future of humanity, and of course, of myself, whether i’ll settle for a married life with children or end up alone in a giant UPS cardboard box behind West Adams Blvd, because of this stubborn urge to purse an artistic career over everything else – willing to sacrifice and put it all on the line, even the skills I’ve acquired over the years for fear that the very intelligence and talents I am gifted with, might pigeonhole me into a career I might find hard to get out of…all because of this one tiny seed that was planted in my brain from God knows where, maybe even God itself, to keep expressing and creating something original because something in my heart or soul or whatever tf it could be, tells me that the deeper you dig and break yourself down (aka doing your inner work or shadow work) the closer you get to connecting with the rest of humanity.

Eckhart Tolle said, “The bigger the “pain body” you carry in this life, the larger your impact will be, if you’re able to transcend your identification with it.”

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
When I left to pursue my undergrad at Berklee College of Music, I set out to become one of the greatest guitarists and composers of all time. I wanted to follow in the footsteps of Steve Vai, John Petrucci, Fredrik Thordendal, Mick Thomson, and many other legends who inspired me to go to music school in the first place.

Halfway through my degree, however, I developed a condition that turned into a series of muscle spasms, minor paralysis, and overall tension and tightness that kept growing, forcing me to give up the instrument and with it, the dream that was attached to it. I couldn’t practice for more than 15 minutes without experiencing severe pain, and after consulting with several doctors, physiotherapists, chiropractors, and even a neurologist, it was clear that this chapter was over.

Having to let go of something that gave me a reason to wake up in the morning, something that felt like my purpose in life so early on, led to a lot of suffering internally. I had to overcome a lot of mental health struggles and find ways to maneuver around this “obstacle” in life.

Having said all this, I never let go of the fire I had within me. In fact, I think it went from a pilot flame to a furnace, urging me to find ways to survive and be the artist I’ve always wanted to be. (The mentors I mentioned in our previous question came to me at the right time, especially when I ‘fell off my boat and had to build a new one.’)

I want people to know that I built a new one. Or I should say I am currently building a new one.

I switched paths suddenly, from an instrumental guitarist/composer to an artist under the alias “Xenai,” making hip-hop/rap/R&B infused with all the influences I picked up along the way – Indian Classical Hindustani music, Traditional Arabic Music, and all the other sounds I was exposed to while learning guitar.

I am fully aware of how much more I need to work to get to where I want to be, even aware of catching up to my peers who never had to make that switch.

I’m also aware of how bad I sounded back then, lol. But I had to fail… I wanted to. It was the only way.

Putting myself out there, knowing it wasn’t my best suit, was so uncomfortable, but I had an undying faith in my artistry. I knew back then, and I still know now that it’s going to pay off.

So now when people tell me they love my voice (coming from a time when I couldn’t sing to save my life), or that my words hit home (from a time I couldn’t focus on the lyrics in a song), or the beats are fire (when I didn’t have enough of a background in Hip-Hop to produce well enough), I am more than grateful. I feel like it’s a long time coming; actually, it’s more than that. It’s a second chance gone right.

Hip-hop saved my life and pushed me to break limits I didn’t know I had.

I overcame performance anxiety, learned how to act for my films/music videos, learned how to edit those videos, learned how to dance so I could feel my beats and make them better, took up singing lessons so I could sound better in my songs, forced myself to finish reading books so I could become a better songwriter and lyricist, studied performances, meditated to find a deeper relationship with my art and my purpose, broke out of introversion, and pushed myself to become an extrovert so I could break patterns and learn new things about myself… I could go on and on, but

The point is, my story is about pivoting from challenges that seem like a dead end. Those are moments of great transformation and evolution. If it wasn’t for that challenge, I’d still be a guitarist, and maybe I’d be “more successful” maybe in a better place financially because of a straight and linear path, but this obstacle opened up so many doors and feels way more fulfilling than anything I could have imagined.

I may not be financially successful yet, but I feel like a billionaire purely out of doing all this inner work and seeing what I am capable of. Everyone is capable of this and the satisfaction that comes with it is priceless.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
I’m the worst person to ask this because I spend a lot of time on music and projects but here are a few recommendations:

Getty Center Museum
Academy Museum of Motion Pictures
Get a beer on the Santa Monica Pier
Body surfing on Malibu Beach
Improv show at The Groundlings Theatre on Melrose Ave
Stand up night at The Laugh Factory
Hiking and meditation at Kenneth Hahn State Park
Take an acting workshop with Jeffrey Seymour “The Real Life Actor”
Best tacos (imo) at ‘Leo’s Taco Truck’

I’m yet to see a college football game so let’s go!!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
It’s been done many times but I really mean it when I say, that I would not be here if it wasn’t for my family (literally and literally).

But I wanna dedicate this to my mentors who have helped me the most during the times I could not see the shore except for the light that they shone :

Teachers:
Duane Lee Holland Jr.
Prince Charles Alexander
Susan Rogers
Neeraj Kabi
Jeff Seymour
Kevin Lyman

Spiritual masters:
Mooji
Eckhart Tolle
Alan Watts
Sadhguru

To name a few. If you don’t know any of these people I highly encourage looking them up! You can thank me later 🙂

Website: https://www.ashwinxenai.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashwin_sm

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashwinshenoy26

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/xenaiofficial

Image Credits
Phil Seaton Brandon Watts Flash Entertainment Angelina Soon James Ruby Alva Kevin Brentt Digital Abdullah