Meet Chloe Estelle | Autism Coach, Founder of OurTism, Writer, Speaker, Autistic Actor’s Assistant, Whatever I can do to help

We had the good fortune of connecting with Chloe Estelle and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Chloe, we’d love to hear more about how you thought about starting your own business?
There really wasn’t one. I went to school for film. Meanwhile I had gotten this reputation as the person who was autistic and had their life together. I didn’t think I had my life together, but I had answers to things other’s didn’t. I kept being asked to have these long conversations with parents of newly diagnosed autistic kids. I had all sorts of advice, things I learned the hard way that I wish I would have done differently. After enough of these meetings and talks of what I wish existed for me as a service, it clicked. I can make these things happen. I can build a place that I want to go to that can help in my struggles. I can get paid to keep having these conversations. I started working with a group on this idea and eventually it was just me and my family. Just like group projects at school, I ended up doing all the work and finishing it. Programs I built to use, I am now running. I wanted a support group, so I made one. Now I run a weekly autistic adult support group. I wanted someone I could go to and do weekly check ins with on the things I wanted to work on. Now I am a Autism Coach. More than a thought process it was more like I went where I was already being pushed. I was enjoying what I was doing and I had a push and if I jumped too and I landed here. I like where I landed.

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
What sets me apart from others? See I thought I was very different from everyone, but my struggle is very universal at least to the autism community. Accepting that I have a harder time doing the things expected of me and doing things so very differently from my neighbor who isn’t autistic was a lesson I needed to learn. I found what works for me and it works really well for other autistic people or at least my clients tell me it does. I found that the services I was seeking out don’t have any autistic people involved. They are guessing what will help me without asking. They are using tools that might help allistics (the non autistic population) but were not helping me. Was it easy? yes and no. I figured stuff out with a lot of trial and error and once I figured it out- I was frustrated with how long I had been hurting myself when I didn’t have to. I don’t want others to struggle like I did. So I am sharing this knowledge. I thought I had to just suffer through the pain of sensory overloads that were brushed off as anxiety, but I don’t. I can choose to wear clothes that meet my needs and make me comfortable even if others don’t approve. If I don’t have executive function, then I don’t have to schedule an appointment when I stare at my calendar unable to figure out how to squeeze in the right hour of time. I can say, hey let’s schedule this tomorrow I can’t think right now or ask for help.
What are lessons I learned along the way? I am learning new vocabulary all the time. We all have a lot of work to do to be more inclusive. We all have a lot of work to do to undo internalized ableism. There is so much of life built around being able to do things a certain way. A lot of people can’t- I like that word now- can’t is freedom. I can’t tie my shoes. My hands lack motor control, simple things like writing hurt my hands which is why I type. Can’t is a beautiful word. I used to hate it. We should allow people to can’t more. We should allow disability to be okay. It bothered me before, that I was disabled. It’s now such a powerful word that gives me the ability to not struggle or be in pain needlessly.
What do I want the world to know about me or my brand or story? OurTism was made by the community it serves. That’s important. We need to have conversations about how to serve the community we are serving directly with it’s members. The fact that is rare is still confusing to me. I know what I need and the amount of times I have been convinced that I don’t actually know myself is much too high. It’s exhausting being part of these conversations especially with how often I am dismissed, but I am always trying my best.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I love gardens, I always take my friends to the botanical gardens, or the wetlands, or teranea- wherever there are flowers. Yellow flowers are of course my favorite. There is something about nature that does wonders for mental health. I could sit under a tree or look at flowers for a long time. There is something peaceful about plants.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I call them star people. The people who come into your life for a little bit and make all the difference in the world. I read the book ‘Stargirl’ in middle school and that story stuck with me. I recommend it, it’s a short book and a love letter to those who refuse to conform. I had this teacher in middle school. I had one conversation with him. I was touring the school and he asked me to go on a walk with him. He asked me about my book I was holding. He didn’t know I was selectivity mute. I didn’t talk to teachers. I returned from this walk and told my parents that I want to go to this school if I could be in his program. They weren’t sure if it was possible. They called the school later and found out he requested me in return. I spent the next year and half learning about how to be authentic self from him. Then we went our separate ways. We see each other every now and again. It’s almost like we had our time together and now it’s ended. Most of what he taught me is what I bring t0 all my clients. He had a way of making me feel seen and heard during a time when no one else did. I would not have been able to do what I do without Mr. Walch. That’s his name Adam Walch. I was failing all my classes before I met him and I graduate middle school with honors. I didn’t talk to teachers, by the end of middle school I was debating teachers. I learned how to advocate for myself and so many other life skills that I carry with me everyday. One day I gifted him ‘Stargirl’ and when he finished it, I told him that he was my starperson and to my surprise he told me I was his. We never know the impact we make on someone else. You could have said one sentence in passing and ended up being the Starperson to someone who will never get to thank you.

Website: https://www.ourtism.com/

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/ourtism

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Image Credits
Jack Grisham also selfies and my sister