Meet Effie Lavore | Life Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Effie Lavore and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Effie, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?
Followed my own heart. That’s something you can’t teach a kid by anything but example. Many of my clients are mothers, and so many of them have difficulty with boundaries and taking care of themselves. I know from experience it’s really difficult when you have tiny creatures who rely on you. It’s easy to get really good at bailing on yourself to take care of their needs. I had to figure out how to stand for myself while also showing up for my kids, that those two things are not mutually exclusive. My mom gave up so much of herself for us, I think many millennials had that example growing up. But I’ve found for myself that the more I live my dreams and show up for myself, even if that means taking time away from my kids… for example, I just spent four days in New York by myself. It’s the longest I’ve ever spent away from my kids. But that was something that I needed to do for me, and my kids only benefit from that.

Anything that I do for me, for the good of my own heart and spirit, is an advantage. That’s been the biggest lesson: I have to do what’s right for me. And that motherhood is not like a life-ender. I’ve got big things to do in the world, and my kids are only a part of that.

What was your thought process behind starting your own business?

I’d had businesses in the past, and this one had a couple different incarnations. I started as an academic coach and then moved into being a writing coach, coaching screenwriters and first time authors on completing their projects. More recently, I realized and understood that I have a lot more to offer than that. So I started a coaching business to coach people on all aspects of their life. You won’t find another coach with my particular brand of fire. Working with me is like putting a jetpack on who you really are.

Would you define this as a creative endeavor, being a life coach?

Oh, for sure, yeah. All businesses are creative endeavors, 100%. When you’re in business for yourself, you’re bringing all of yourself to it.

Why did you pursue an artistic or creative career?

Well, I’ve always been a creative. I was an actor and a filmmaker for 16 years, and it’s just very important to me to be able to express myself creatively and to also teach others to do the same. Being a creative is just all about solving problems. I heard Donald Glover say in an interview once that writing is just like sitting at a desk and beating your head against the wall until something comes out. And I mean, it can be more fun than that but on some level it really is true. Any creative process is a process of solving problems, and certainly business is that. So I, as a life coach, help people solve problems and make decisions in their life in a way that really works for them. Ultimately, it’s about getting what they want, creating the life that they want. And that, 100%, is a creative process.

As far as the business goes, there’s creativity in the marketing of it. There’s creativity in the relational aspect of it. There’s an intuitive thing that happens because the work that I do is conversational. But we also go very deep.

I specialize in coaching the subconscious mind. There’s a lot of imagination that goes into that. It’s very, very fun and riveting and highly effective as well.

How do you define success?

Oh, I’ve had to redefine that for myself several times over. When I became an actor all those years ago, I really thought of success as being, I mean, rich and famous. Right? That’s the dream. You want to be at least a name actor so that you’re getting consistent work. The neverending process of auditioning can be quite grueling. I figured at some point it would just get a lot easier for me, and then that would be success. And I’ve definitely redefined that. That’s not something that happened for me in my career as an actor. I was always having to pound the pavement, and come to find out that even the greats and “names” also work incredibly hard for their success and to maintain success.

For me now, success is living the life that I want to live, the pace that I want to live, the lifestyle that I want to live, finding a way to make it work. And ultimately, for me, the demands of the entertainment industry, the grueling pace of production schedules and all that, was not in alignment with the lifestyle that I wanted to lead.

That was really exciting for me for a lot of years. I just imagined a different type of life for myself at a certain point. Now the life that I lead enables me to travel and have flexibility, also a different level of fulfillment than was ever possible before. So for me, success is designing my life in a way that is deeply fulfilling and not dependent on other people’s approval of me.

How to know whether to keep going or to give up?

To be perfectly honest, for a while I prayed to have the desire to be in the entertainment industry, I prayed for that to go away, to be taken away from me. Because if that’s a fire that’s in you, if that’s a bug that bit, you have to respond to the call. You have to go for it. I continued doing that because that was what I knew that I wanted to do for so long. And until I knew otherwise, I was going to keep doing it. It was so hard for me to let go of that identity. Now I know that pivoting or letting go of something to create something new is not failing and it’s not giving up. It’s more trading up. I get to use everything that I ever learned as an actor and a filmmaker in the entertainment industry in my current work now. So none of it was a loss. But I did struggle with the idea of, Oh, no, did I quit on my dream? And no. I mean, so much of what I do with people is I help them rewrite the stories of their own lives. I’ve had to rewrite my own story when I gave up acting and filmmaking to become a life coach… that wasn’t me quitting because I had already done my dream. I had already done that dream, and it was time for a new dream.

I think it’s a highly personal, individual choice. Whether to keep going or to give up. I see it a lot. So many of my clients are going through major transitions in their lives… career transitions, transitioning into marriage or motherhood. Some of my clients are on the other end and need divorce coaching. Letting go of your former story is incredibly powerful and a big part of what I do. I help people rewrite the narratives in their brain.

Sounds like you’ve gone through many life transitions of your own.

Big time. Yeah. I’m a transformation expert.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?

Well, where my BFF is from is land-locked, so I’d take them to the beach like right away, probably Manhattan because it’s broad and the most convenient. I also love the industrial backdrop. Naturally we’d stop on the way at Ike’s Love Sandwiches so we could picnic on the sand.

Once they slept off the jet lag, I’d definitely take them out to hike at Escondido Falls, maybe stop at a little cafe in Topanga on the way home.

We love to be outdoors, so I’d take them along with my kids to do paddle boats on Balboa Lake or Echo Park. At night we’d go to O’Cado in Sherman Oaks, which has the best vegan menu I’ve ever had (my bestie is vegan but I’m not, and that place makes both of us happy… oh, and they have a killer spicy margarita with jalapeno sabe, that would definitely be on my order).

I wouldn’t put them back on a plane before taking them to see a show at The Ford. That place is so special. It reminds me of a mini version of Red Rocks from my home state of Colorado. There’s a show there coming up on October 6 that I’m super excited about. AL SUR DE LA FRONTERA with one of my favorite artists Dorian Wood.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
For all the mamas and daughters, including me and mine…

Website: www.effielavore.com

Instagram: @effielavore

Facebook: facebook.com/effielavore/