Meet Jeff Zhorne | Grief Counselor
We had the good fortune of connecting with Jeff Zhorne and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Jeff, can you share a quote or affirmation with us?
“People don’t care what you know until they know that you care.” After losing two children in a tragic auto accident in southwestern England, I was devastated and without hope. I languished in misery for more than 2 years. Having another child did not help. Drowning myself in work did not help. Finally I discovered Grief Recovery. Something happened. I started to remember Jeremy and Amelia for the way they lived, not just the way they died. Their memory became one of love instead of pain. I was transformed. Soon after I was trained and certified as a Grief Recovery Counselor and have been helping hurting people for the past 25 years. What a privilege! And yet, to the favorite quote: While people suffering from significant emotional loss need tools and skills to help them navigate deep emotional waters, what must come first is a caring heart. Someone who can meet them in their emotional pain and heartbreak. In this regard, whatever skill set or emotional roadmap I might have for people must never precede empathy. That’s why I have endeavored to become a heart with two legs.
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
It is an incredible experience to see people begin to strip away the pain from memories of lost loved ones. Many of those suffering from unresolved or suppressed negative emotions drown themselves in others’ problems or religion, some drown themselves in alcohol. Some stay so busy they don’t have time to feel. Some may use money, exercise, sex or food to stop the pain. Others wind up burying the pain and isolating at home because other people get tired of hearing about it. We can continue to stuff the feelings, shove them away or numb ourselves until the losses become an ever-growing weight being carried around. People then wonder why life isn’t the happy, joy-filled experience they had always imagined.
This buried pain is very real, has energy and doesn’t go away on its own. Unresolved grief will make itself known when we least expect it. Reactions become disproportionate to the circumstances, and our emotional, mental and physical well-being suffers.
Grieving people aren’t broken and don’t need to be fixed. They need to be heard in an atmosphere of safety, respect and dignity – without evaluation or advice, which is just criticism in disguise, anyway.
Today I am grateful to be emotionally complete with the deaths of my two beloved children. Not that I somehow “got over it”; that event is still very much a part of me. But I’ve learned to incorporate that loss and my enduring love for them into my life. I can now enjoy fond memories of Jeremy and Amelia. I needed to remember them not only for the way they died, but especially for the way they lived.
The Grief Program’s step-by-step method helps those stuck in confusion and loneliness to move beyond loss by completing the incomplete emotional relationship. It provides the correct skills we were never taught. By saying good-bye to conflict, pain and isolation, we are able to hold the fond memories of loved ones forever.
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Many of my friends are still back in Texas. Their first desire coming to the West Coast is not hitting the beach, surprisingly. They want to go up Angeles Forest and sit on the edge of the world high up and gaze over the city lights. That’s usually a first for them. Then we’ll go just above Santa Barbara to a little beach for a sunset bonfire. We sizzle hot dogs and enjoy libations while the sun glimmers over the shoreline. Hopefully there would be time for trip-tropping through boutique wineries in the Santa Ynez Valley, sitting outside and looking over undulating vineyards in a peaceful setting. For nightlife there’s always a Parisian restaurant somewhere. A little out of the way place is Le Chene that lies north of Santa Clarita, complete with gardens and a waterwheel in the back. They also retain the largest wine cellar west of Mandalay Bay!
Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
I would like to dedicate this to Wendy Keller, who to this day still suffers the anguish and heartbreak over the loss of two children who were greatly loved, and beautiful Sophia Zhorne, who carries their legacy day by day.
Youtube: https://signalscv.com/video/in-the-warehouse/
Nominate Someone: ShoutoutLA is built on recommendations and shoutouts from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
