We had the good fortune of connecting with Kiki Connects and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Kiki, what is the most important factor behind your success?
My desire to take risks, be on the edge of disaster, and come out of it totally reborn.
Growing up I took risks that involved drugs, alcohol and partying my butt off.
I was that person in the friend group who was swinging on chandeliers at clubs, getting kicked out of parties for starting food fights, running around naked in public…
…mmm! I loved to see how much of myself I could expose and still live to tell the tale.
I got sober in 2017 (thank God) and instantly dove into entrepreneurship.
I transferred my obsession of taking risks with drugs and alcohol to taking risks in business and self-development.
There have been multiple times where I would buy things for my business rather than pay my rent or feed myself…
…I’d max out credit cards to work with coaches, mentors, sexual healers, shamans, gurus with absolutely no financial safety net.
To hell with Maslow’s hierarchy, I was thirsty to get to self-actualization first before all the other physiological and safety needs were met.
Hold on a second though. I’m not at all encouraging this behavior.
Here comes the disclaimer…
I DO NOT SUGGEST THIS PATH FOR EVERYONE.
Earlier in my coaching, I would encourage my clients to take risks the way I did…
…instead of figuring out what their edge was, I would superimpose my own.
Don’t jump off the bridge just because someone tells you to. Listen to your own inner guide above everything else.
What should our readers know about your business?
What do you want the world to know about your business?
My business is more of my life’s mission than a business.
I’m a “Sexual Liberator”, here to nurture myself and others back into feeling alive and sexually empowered in the body.
The way we stereotypically see sexuality is totally dysfunctional and insane. We’ve been programmed to be disconnected and stressed out rather than be connected and in our pleasure.
The crazy paradox is that, when you put your pleasure first before all else, the world opens up for you in extraordinary ways.
But… let’s get one thing clear first.
Pleasure isn’t about being all smiles and positivity… that’s fake and toxic to your body.
I’m talking about real pleasure.
The pleasure you receive from cracking yourself open again and again… and again.
Feeling into the pain to experience the pleasure.
Crying yourself to sleep and waking up feeling like a newborn baby.
Allowing the rage and anger to pulse through your body, bringing it down into your sex and alchemizing that rage into a full body orgasm.
That’s the kind of pleasure I facilitate.
What sets you apart from others?
What sets me apart from others is that I am the only Kiki Connects, there’s nobody else who is me.
I’m me, but me is also not for everyone. And thank GOD for that.
There are many others – amazing sex educators, coaches, tantrikas, dakinis, sex workers.
They’re my friends and colleagues in this sexual liberation movement.
It’s empowering to collaborate rather than be in some egotistical “power over” type competition.
We need as many people linking arms and choosing their liberation right now.
What are you most proud of in your business?
What I’m most proud of are the stories I receive back from my clients. Every time I’m always surprised and amazed at how deep and multifaceted this work is.
Here are some examples:
One of my clients has been introducing prostate play into his self pleasure practice. If you don’t know what that means, he’s been playing with his anus while he masturbates. You wanna know what he told me? Since doing this practice, he gets his work done at his job more efficiently, in less time, and is actually eager to do the tasks he’s been putting aside for years. Isn’t that incredible? Simply by playing with his anus and getting comfortable with his body, his work ethic has shifted for the better.
A client had this rash on her arm she’d had for years. She’d seen dermatologists and specialists, but still this rash wouldn’t go away. After doing energy work on her and doing a full kundalini activation (a practice to awaken the sexual center of the body) for 3 hours, the rash was gone in less than 3 days.
I’m also proud of the times where I’ve been brought to the depth of my own unconscious shadow. Had this idea of what I thought I needed to do for my business and God had other plans.
Like the times I would put out my workshop, receive no sign ups, wake up the next morning and keep going despite all the self-doubt that ensued.
When I wasn’t clear on what types of clients I wanted to work with and thus got shitty clients. People who didn’t respect my work or my boundaries because I didn’t respect my work or boundaries.
The times I would have people come to me with something that was totally out of my expertise, but I said I could work with them anyways, and I would end up failing them.
All of these experiences continue leading me to being a better facilitator.
What’s your story, how’d you get into this work?
It all started when I was 17.
One day I was having fun teenage sex, as per usual. The next day I felt like knives were scratching the inside of my vagina.
This led to 10 years of doctors and specialists scratching their heads while I shook my fists, cursing the world.
“Why on Earth did my vagina all of a sudden become broken?”
“Am I going to be like this forever?!”
10 years of constant yeast and bacterial infections, UTI’s, and collapsed vaginal walls.
Panic attacks, mental and emotional breakdowns.
I can guarantee all the drugs and partying didn’t help my sexual health.
Neither did the sex work…
Oh yeah, I also became a sex worker during this part of my life.
I know right, totally insane.
Sex work was my outlet, just like drugs and partying.
An outlet to feel normal for a moment, to forget that I was broken.
I NEVER showed my sugar daddies the pain that was under the surface of the bubbly personality.
I loved to be witnessed in my perfectly constructed perfection.
Afterwards I’d go home in tears, spread my legs out in front of the fan while slathering any and all creams onto my sick sad vulva.
10 years later, I put the pieces together.
These were all side effects from when I got the HPV vaccine at 17 years old.
How I came to this conclusion is a whole other story, perhaps for another interview.
But… wow. Totally crazy that the HPV vaccine didn’t even cross my mind for an entire decade.
Obsessed with figuring out the “why” while it stared me in the face. Probably giggling at me most of the time.
It wasn’t solely about the why. Rather, it was about experiencing the spiraled journey of healing.
Experiencing it first, so I can facilitate it for others second.
When I say my mission is to sexually liberate myself and others, I intentionally put myself first.
I can only take people as deep as I’m committed to going.
Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
I live in Los Feliz, so hiking around Griffith Observatory is a must.
Every Saturday there’s the Los Feliz Flea Market. Lots of groovy vintage finds and it’s a 5 min walk from my place.
I love going on walks through the Hollywood Hills. Great workout for your butt and spectacular views.
Head to Erewhon for food that makes you feel like you’re worth bazillions of dollars… because you are.
Another favorite place, not on the East side but I have to mention, is Malibu Creek State Park. Rolling green hills, creeks, rock pools. Sooooo beautiful.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
For the majority of my life, it’s been me and my mom.
She was working her ass off to support us and I was a… little asshole.
But no matter what, she always stuck by me and was very cautious of when to intervene with her opinions of how I should live my life.
She knew deep down I was on my path and needed to learn the lessons in my own way, in my own time.
She’s always seen me as strong and powerful and I really think there’s something to that.
Now looking back, I think my mom’s belief in me is one of the main reasons I’m still alive.
The AMAZING photographer Keren Sinai Instagram @high.showers https://www.instagram.com/high.showers/?hl=en