Meet Lauren Costine, Ph.D. | Clinical Psychologist, Entreprenuer, and Author

We had the good fortune of connecting with Lauren Costine, Ph.D. and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Lauren, maybe we can start at the very start – the idea – how did you come up with the idea for your business?
I’ve always loved the deep, transformative nature of one-on-one therapy, but by 2017, I felt a strong inner pull to reach a wider audience—especially lesbians and queer women—beyond the traditional therapy model. My life had taken a turn in a new direction, and with it came a surge of creativity. That’s when I began developing two distinct branches of healing work.

The first was the evolution of Dr. Lauren – The Queer Women’s Psychologist. I began offering group coaching, online courses, and healing content that expanded beyond one-on-one sessions. It allowed me to share therapeutic tools, inner work practices, and queer-affirmative guidance on a broader scale. My mornings often begin with meditation and a wave of inspiration—whether it’s for a new lesson, a workbook exercise, or something I want to share on social media. It’s a deeply fulfilling way to merge creativity with purpose.

The second vision had been brewing since 2013, when I was mentoring early-career therapists and dreaming of a healing center built on shared values and integrity. I imagined a space where we could work with insurance companies to increase access to therapy, especially for underserved populations and LGBTQ+ folks. That vision came to life in 2020, after I got married, and the pandemic had a profound impact on the need for therapeutic services. My wife, Vanessa, and I co-founded Awaken Therapy Center that summer, and it has been a meaningful way to bring inclusive, high-quality care to many people.

Together, these two businesses let me live my mission: to support healing, self-actualization, and freedom for all people and also for lesbians and queer women in ways that are expansive, accessible, and deeply aligned to ways I have seen personally and professionally work.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
My career has always been rooted in healing—deep, transformative healing that goes far beyond symptom reduction. Healing the wounds we carry from society, family, and self-doubt—especially for queer women and LGBTQ+ folks whose stories are so often erased or misunderstood. I love helping women, lesbians, and queer women come home to themselves, dismantle internalized oppression, and step into the fullness of who they are. That has been the core thread of everything I do, whether it’s one-on-one work, writing, speaking, or building community.

I’ve been a therapist and psychologist for twenty-four years, blending depth psychology, feminist theory, and queer-affirming practice. In 2005, I helped create the LGBT Specialization in Clinical Psychology at Antioch University—one of the first graduate-level programs of its kind. It was a radical act at the time, and we experienced significant pushback, even from progressive faculty and students; however, our passion and commitment were so strong that their resistance didn’t deter us. We just kept moving.

In 2015, I published my first book, Lesbian Love Addiction: Understanding the Urge to Merge and How to Heal When Things Go Wrong, after healing my own patterns around love addiction. That book became a compassionate, affirming roadmap for lesbians and queer women navigating the painful cycles of longing, obsession, and heartbreak. It was the first time I publicly named the unique struggles lesbians and queer women face in love—and it opened the door for so many to find clarity, self-compassion, and growth.

What sets me apart is my integration of depth psychology, affirmative and feminist theory, and spiritual wisdom. I don’t believe in surface-level self-help. I believe in walking through the fire of transformation. I create content, courses, and healing experiences that support people in reclaiming their worth, rewriting their narratives, and stepping into their truth, not just individually, but as part of a collective shift toward liberation. I genuinely believe that a collective change is necessary to help heal both the world and the planet, and that begins with each of us engaging in inner work.

One of the things I’m most proud of right now is my work on a book trilogy—a three-part book series guiding queer women through every stage of inner transformation. Becoming Sapphic is about healing shame and claiming identity; The Sapphic Heart explores intimacy and healthy love; The Sapphic Soul offers a transpersonal path into queer spirituality, aging, and embodied wisdom. There will also be an accompanying workbook. These books are not just theory—they are living maps. They’re the culmination of my clinical work, my spiritual practice, and my transformation. I want to create resources that hold space for lesbian and queer women’s complexity, brilliance, and longing for more.

This path hasn’t been easy. I’ve faced addiction, trauma, burnout, grief, imposter syndrome, and had to unlearn deeply embedded patterns around over-giving and people-pleasing. The first step towards addressing these challenges was awareness – once I realized I was a workaholic, I began integrating the five pillars of health and created a more balanced life. Once I started to put myself out there and felt imposter syndrome, I faced it head-on, challenging it through therapy, journaling, and meditation. But each challenge brought me closer to my purpose. Walking this path alongside my colleagues, clients, and friends, I have learned that authenticity doesn’t mean becoming someone else—it means remembering who you are beneath the conditioning.

What I want the world to know is this: Becoming yourself is a sacred act. Your healing matters. And there is a path to joy, intimacy, and power that honors every part of who you are. Something you can experience every day. My work is being a part of lighting that path.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
It’s funny you ask this—I recently designed my dream weekend to celebrate a landmark birthday with a few friends, and it truly captures everything I love: healing, fun, beauty, connection, and nature. This dream weekend takes place in one of my favorite places in the world, Palm Springs, CA. “A Soul Desert Itinerary”

The evening before, after everyone arrives, we’ll gather around the pool for a calming sound bath under the stars—a chance to arrive fully in our bodies, exhale the week, and ease into the rhythm of the celebratory weekend.

The next morning will start with a day of deep relaxation at Azure Palm Hot Springs & Day Spa in Desert Hot Springs. The desert air, mineral hot springs, and stunning mountain views create the perfect atmosphere for letting go and dropping in. Everyone is getting some treatment, from a massage to a facial, to enjoy some needed self-care.

Saturday night would be a celebratory yet soulful affair—dinner at Farm or Eight4Nine, two of my favorite restaurants in Palm Springs. Farm is intimate and romantic, tucked away like a secret garden, while 849 has a chic, modern vibe. Either way, we are curating a prix fixe menu, and friends are bringing flowers and a cake from my favorite local bakery. We’d talk, laugh, toast, and celebrate the beauty of chosen family. Afterwards, we are going dancing for a few hours to a local LGBTQ spot.

Sunday morning would begin with a grounding desert hike—nothing too intense, just enough to feel the earth under our feet. Post-hike, we’d gather for a casual breakfast back at our Airbnb and savor good coffee and slow conversation.

If they stayed the whole week, I’d build in days for art, vintage shopping, and soul-nourishing rest:

•Lots of hikes and poolside restoration
•A slow afternoon at a beautiful lounge, sipping coffee, mocktails, and soaking in conversation
•A stop at the Palm Springs Art Museum to take in some culture and creative energy
•Wandering the Design District for aesthetic inspiration and a little vintage magic
•Crystal shops and tarot readings in Joshua Tree
•And maybe even a mid-week writing circle or talking-stick gathering back at my place or by the pool—a moment to drop in, reflect, and share from the heart

And of course, every day would include time for presence—birdsong in the morning, shared stories over dinner, deep belly laughs, and space just to be. Because for me, joy isn’t about packing in activities—it’s about creating experiences that touch the soul.

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Absolutely. No one reaches their destination alone, and my story is no exception. There are so many incredible people and energies that have supported, challenged, and inspired me along the way.

First and foremost, I would like to extend a heartfelt shoutout to my wife, Vanessa. Her love, clarity, and fierce devotion to our relationship and healing have been a grounding force in my life. Co-creating Awaken Therapy Center with her has been one of the most expansive and aligned things I’ve ever done.

A very special shoutout goes to Dr. Doug Sadownick. Doug is more than a colleague—he’s a soul companion, a co-dreamer, and one of the smartest, most tender-hearted visionaries I’ve had the privilege of working alongside. Nearly two decades ago, he brought me on to help him create the LGBT Specialization in Clinical Psychology at Antioch University, where we trained therapists to work with the LGBTQ community from a place of depth, empathy, and liberation. Together with other brilliant minds, we developed a program that viewed queerness not as a diagnosis, but as a gateway to healing, consciousness, and radical self-love.

I also want to recognize the many queer women and clients I’ve had the privilege to work with over the years. Their courage to explore their identities, heal from trauma, and reclaim their authentic selves has shaped me just as much as I’ve supported them. They are the soul of this work.

A huge thank-you goes to my therapists and other mentors—Sandra Golvin, a lesbian-centered therapist whose life was cut way too short, fellow thought-leaders, dear friends and all the women in feminist, depth, and queer psychologies who came before me. Their teachings provided me with the foundation to create my frameworks and trust the wisdom of my lived experiences.

And finally, I want to honor the transformational books that cracked me open—works by Audre Lorde, Beverly Burch, Kelly McDaniel, Eckhart Tolle, and more recently, Letting Go: The Pathway to Surrender by David Hawkins and When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron. These books reminded me that healing is both personal and transformational, and that healing is a sacred and necessary act.

So, this shoutout is really for everyone who helped me remember who I truly am—and who continues to walk beside me as I help others do the same.

Website: www.lovedrlauren.com and www.awakentherapycenter.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlaurencostine/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drlaurencostine/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LaurenDCostinePhd

Other: https://www.amazon.com/Lesbian-Love-Addiction-Understanding-Things/dp/1442248084

Image Credits
I took all the photos myself, The Dr. Lauren logo was designed by Jen Baers of Rzn8 Design, Awaken Therapy Center design by Halini Brune