We had the good fortune of connecting with Coach Monique DeMonaco and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Coach Monique, as a parent, what have you done for you children that you feel has had the most significant impact?
I have four sons, ages 37, 27, and two 19-year old twins. The biggest thing I have done that has had a positive impact on my children is doing my own work to resolve my issues from childhood and breaking the negative cycles of generational dysfunction.

When my oldest two were growing up, I still had unresolved issues from my own childhood that overly influenced how I parented. For example, I was extremely unhappy as a child…sometimes even suicidal. Because of that, I had a very low tolerance for either of my boys to be unhappy. That resulted in my failure to create clear boundaries with clear consequences. For example, if one of them did something that would result in them being grounded, a day or two into the “grounding” I would feel bad that they were missing out on fun activities and were unhappy about it so I would let them go. I also grew up really poor often going without basic things like seeing a doctor when I was sick because of the co-pay. That impacted my parenting in some negative ways in that I never wanted my kids to do without something resulting in too much indulgence and almost never talking to them about how much things costs or even responsible money choices. Instead, I pretty much bought them what they wanted when they wanted it and was too free with the cash.

By the time I got into my late 30s and had the twins, I had done a lot of personal work and healing. I recognized the need to allow them to fail and accept consequences, and not bail them out all the time. Because of that, they learned to make good choices because they didn’t want unpleasant consequences.

Having to wait for what you wanted taught them how to delay gratification, which is an important skill to develop for success in life, The twins were also much more anxious to get jobs in high school so they could have money and when they earned their own money, they had more respect for it.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
All of our coaching is based in Brain-Science, Emotional Intelligence, the Psychology of Happiness, and the Science of Well-Being so we offer a comprehensive approach to change. If your change program isn’t rooted in Brain-Science, you are not getting the highest ROI because everything starts at the level of brain and mind.

We have an innovative conceptual. model for change that focuses on awareness rather than behavior. Most “problem” behaviors or actually just coping mechanisms, or consequences of what we are unaware of….for example, procrastination is fear of failure. But if you don’t understand that so you’re focused on time management skills, you aren’t going to experience the results you need. As awareness increases, behaviors naturally and organically begin to change and that’s how change is created in our lives, families, and businesses.

I started my coaching practice 17 years ago before coaching was popular or really well understood. Then, I spent a lot of time educating the consumer about coaching. For example explaining that it isn’t therapy and how it differs from therapy. Today, because coaching is not heavily regulated, the market is saturated with coaches…particularly in response to the Covid Pandemic. Many people decided they wanted to make a career change, start a business, or get into the “helping profession” and because coaching has such a low barrier to entry (there are some coaching certification programs that require mere hours), the market became flooded. Today, I spend time explaining to perspective clients the importance of being highly selective and doing your homework before hiring a coach. High quality coaching, with a well trained experience coach is an investment and not a decision that price should be the deciding factor.

I have always differentiated myself as a coach with having a full-time dedicated professional office, invested in continued training for myself, having a speaking practice, and writing a book, Most People Don’t Need A Therapist, They Just Need A Change. Because of the ways I have differentiated myself, I have high visibility, credibility, and have been able to attract educated, high achieving, and discerning clients.

Today, I limit the number of coaching clients I work with to between 12-15 clients, which is a full-time practice. I work with my clients in-person either in my office, at their site, or virtually. Each session is 90 minutes to 2-hours…this allots for enough time to do deep dives, have meaningful discussion and to give them the tools to reach their goals. My clients also enjoy concierge level support with unlimited phone/text/email support throughout the coaching engagement so if they are struggling with an issue, have questions, or need support, they don’t have to wait until their next appointment. What we have found over the years is the longer session times and ongoing support allows clients to experience rapid results and shorter coaching engagements.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
If my best friend were coming to town, I would hope they would fly in after dark so they could experience the unexpected beautiful skyline of Pittsburgh as they came through the Fort Pitt Tunnel…you come out of the tunnel and the city lights are right in front of you.

Dinner at Altias on Mt Washington, the first night, would be a must so that you can enjoy delicious cuisine and tasty cocktails while taking in the view of the three rivers merging agains the beautiful skyline as the backdrop.

Con Alma for outstanding jazz and dinner is a must…the ambience, outstanding service, and delicious food makes this a “can’t miss” evening.

No visit to Pittsburgh would be complete without spending the late morning/afternoon in the Strip District where fresh produce, flowers, and vendors crowd the streets as the smell of fresh bread and coffee waft through the air. Whether its a “mom and pop” diner or street food that temps you, it’s all delicious. From low cost Steeler apparel, upscale kitchenware, exotic spices, or authentic Italian groceries, it’s all in the Strip District.

Spending time bicycling along the numerous trails that run along the rivers is a great way to see the sites and get a feel for Pittsburgh’s architecture, sporting venues, and natural beauty.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
I want to give Shoutout to MaryJo Bisceglia-Tilves, my good friend and Editor Extraordinaire! MaryJo edits and proofreads the content for the whole Coach. Monique Team.

We simply send her an email with Red Pen Ready in the Subject Line (MaryJo was a fourth grade teacher for many years and always corrected her students’ work with a red pen) a

Whether its our First Class Leadership training materials, our Imposter Syndrome Blog or my book, Most People Don’t Need A Therapist, They Just Need A Change, she is always there with her Red Pen and boundless support.

Website: wwwCoachMonique.Com

Instagram: TheCoachMonique

Linkedin: Coach Monique DeMonaco

Twitter: TheCoachMonique

Facebook: Coach Monique

Youtube: Coach Monique & Associates Youtube

Image Credits
Goss Boss Photography

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