We had the good fortune of connecting with Nicoletta Heidegger, MA, MEd, LMFT and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Nicoletta, what’s one piece of conventional advice that you disagree with?
Folks often tout the old adage that you have to love yourself first (before someone else can love you/before being in a relationship). In short, this is BS! Self-love is not a goal that we attain; it is an ongoing muscle that needs to be worked at. This type of personal growth is also not linear and is sometimes easier to practice! You, as you are now, are worthy of love, partnership, connection, and relationship. In fact, most of us heal through relationship! That being said, yes it is imperative to work on oneself, know our self worth, and not rely solely on others for our sense of happiness and validation. But, humans are social creatures and we need connection to grow and heal and this is a lifelong practice!
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
You have to be OK with pushback when you go into the field of sex therapy! In fact, pushback feeds me! We live in such a sex negative culture where most are not taught about sex, don’t talk about sex, and shame anyone who is vocal about sexual exploits. I like to help my clients minimize their sexual and body shame and increase their pleasure potentials.
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
– I love the area I am from- Chatsworth. It has some amazing hidden hikes and unique nature! – The Magic Castle- I am a member and love magic; it is a great place for a unique time!
– Yamashiro buffet – great views, amazing architecture
– Les Sisters- family owned Cajun/ Creole hole in the wall in Chatsworth. Best fried chicken ever!
– I also lead folks in equine assisted psychotherapy, so I would take a friend to meet some horses and donkeys at Stand InBalance or Special Spirit
– for a unique/ macabre experience: The Museum of Death or California Institute of Abnormal Arts
– A concert at the Greek or Hollywood Bowl – I miss live music!
– Turtle Racing at Brennans Pub
– karaoke anywhere and everywhere!
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I would like to thank my Mom, Jami Heidegger and my therapist, Dr, Jenn Mann, as well as all the privileges afforded to me!
B/ w by Mark Dektor