We had the good fortune of connecting with Shazia Khan and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Shazia, we’d love to hear what makes you happy.
They say happiness comes in waves. I believe that every so often a wave crashes into your life and leaves a new kind of happiness that lingers as the seasons change and the years go by. This is what happened to me five years ago when I was scrolling through Instagram and I came across a video of a person with a scarf she had purchased. She held it up and said the words that changed it all: “This is a constellation scarf”. I’m an astronomy enthusiast, so it’s not a surprise that three weeks later I was holding it in my hands. The scarf was a deep shade of midnight blue with constellations drawn out in clusters of gold. One night, when sleep eluded me, my gaze fell on the thin fabric of stars draped on the back of a chair. I remember staring at it and thinking about all the moments of happiness I experienced while stargazing. I began doodling the constellations in a journal. Eventually, the dots were connected by lines, which morphed into words and then sentences. I had the skeleton of a story about a girl and her love of the stars by the morning. The first story I had written in ten years.
I never realized that all my years of reading and daydreaming had prepared me to write my own stories. It was as if a childlike curiosity had been returned to me, the kind that is often stripped away due to adult responsibilities. Writing novels allows me to explore the depths of my imagination. It gives me the chance to be brave and explore the things that scare me. It’s a constant form of education and an opportunity for self growth. It’s a trip to a fictional world of my own creation and meeting characters that begin to feel like family. My wave of happiness comes from those stolen moments in my busy day when I get to lose myself in my writing and get closer to completing my book.
It’s not just reading and writing books that brings me joy, it’s also the act of reviewing, collecting and discussing books. It was my search for a community of readers that made me create a Bookstagram account and call it Khanlibrary five years ago. Since then, I’ve befriended readers from around the world and shared hundreds of book reviews on my platform. Books were always a portal to another world for me, but recently they began feeling like home. I’ve found stories that were relatable and that represented my culture and religion. It’s truly a gift when books feel like home and I’m so glad that I’ve been able to find so many diverse reads on Bookstagram. I’m grateful for the bookish friends I’ve made, the authors who take the time to speak to me about writing and all the discussions I’ve had about books with my fellow bookworms. Finding this community has been a great source of happiness.
Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
There are special moments in my career as a pediatric nurse that stand out. For me, it was when a mother was going to hold her baby for the first time weeks after the birth. The baby was lying in the incubator covered in tubes and IV lines. It was a delicate dance to hold the baby in my arms, while a colleague grabbed all the tubing, and I placed the baby in the mother’s arms for the first time. It felt like I was returning the baby home, even though he was still in the neonatal intensive care unit. I remember staying with the mother, reassuring her that she was doing great all the while keeping an eye on the baby’s vitals and adjusting how much oxygen the baby was receiving. I remember the mother’s tears, the way the baby seemed at peace on his mother’s chest. “I’m finally doing Kangaroo care”, the mother said. I sat in my alcove, watching the mother sing to her baby and I suddenly had the urge to write a poem. The first poem I had written in years.
“Hey there, Baby Kangaroo!
All snuggled up in your cocoon.
Machines all around you beeping and ringing
While Mommy puts her hands on you and starts singing”.
I wrote a full poem inspired by this beautiful moment. That is what pediatric nursing has been for me: a series of unforgettable moments that stayed with me for a long time. I have been working at the Montreal Children’s Hospital for almost eight years and it is by far the most challenging thing I have done in my life. There is something so special about working with children. They have been my source of education over the years. Nothing prepares you for seeing a child deteriorate, for jumping into action and doing everything you can with your team to save a child. Nothing prepares you for the parent’s tears and the heartbreak of loss. My patients always found a way to surprise me as well. From the sweet eight-year-old who named me “trouble” after I did multiple blood tests on him to the teenager who showed me her sketchbook filled with beautiful drawings. There never was a dull moment with my kids. Working as a pediatric nurse means experiencing a wide array of emotions, and I truly believe my patients are the ones who taught me the most over the years, both professionally and creatively. So much of my growth as a nurse, writer and as a person came from the children who walked into my life in the hospital. Those who made it home and those who never left. Nursing is not the day job that pulls me away from my writing. It is the life experience, rewarding career and inspiration that has made me the writer I am today.
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
The two great loves of my life are food and books. Anyone visiting me knows that they will be taken on a tour of my favourite restaurants, cafes and bookstores in Montreal. Brunch is my jam, especially if we are going to Spanel, which has a cozy little terrace and a whole menu of delicious crepes and smoothies. The food adventures really begin when we go for Pakistani/Indian food. Mango lassi and biryani are the solution to all my problems. Shahi Palace and Palais D’Ajit are two of my favourite spots for a spicy food marathon (stretchy pants are recommended). The Keg Steakhouse is also another great spot for dinner, but what I really look forward to is the dessert, specifically the mocha flavoured ice cream Billy Miner Pie. Did someone say ice cream? You can’t be my friend unless you support my ice cream obsession. Our Canadian summer’s are short, therefore ice cream under the sun is a mandatory activity. Ca Lem, Kem CoBa and Chocolat Favoris are my usual spots to get my dose of ice cream happiness. A stroll around the Old Port means finding many more ice cream spots and desserts.
Bring a tote bag, because we will be visiting some bookstores and it’s a general rule that you cannot leave empty handed. Hopefully my visiting friend likes books, because I can spend all day in a bookstore. We would visit Librairie Drawn & Quarterly, Librairie Saint-Henri Books and The Word bookstore. There is Indigo as well, but the independent bookstores make this bookworm feel more at home. Reading or discussing books in a cafe is another favourite activity. We could be fancy and have high tea and scones at Le Parloir or have waffle fries and cheesecake at Pigeon Café. We would need a whole week to go on food and bookstore adventures.
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I would not be where I am today if it were not for my parents, Mama and Papa Khan. They worked hard to put me through school and recognized the creative spark inside of me early on. I remember my mother asking me to write her stories. She kept every single notebook starting from when I was six-years-old and even saved the papers I wrote in university. My father was the storyteller in our household. He was the one who made me fall in love with reading, a fact that he would come to regret when every nook of our house was covered in piles of books. My parents have done nothing but encourage me to dream big and do the things that bring me joy. I’ve seen my father cry at every single one of my graduations and when he read the first draft of the book I’m working on. He cried when I handed him my acceptance letter to nursing school and the letter telling me I passed my nursing licensing exam. I remember my mother’s proud smile the day my pink stethoscope arrived in the mail and how she supported me every time I chose to challenge myself in my career and life. They have called me a writer long before I even sat down to write my first book. They call me an author, even if my book has not been published yet. My parents gave me space to grow but were always nearby to help me back up when I stumbled. They have been my guiding light when I felt lost and my loudest cheerleaders when embarking on new paths. They never tell me what I should be doing or who I should be. They just stand by my side and tell me to shine. Creativity is born in the arms of such parents.
Website: https://khanlibrary.blog/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khanlibrary/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shazia-khan-ab9a38b0/