Meet Tahn Bae Park | Educator and Storyteller

We had the good fortune of connecting with Tahn Bae Park and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Tahn Bae, have you ever found yourself in a spot where you had to decide whether to give up or keep going? How did you make the choice?
You don’t. You just change.

Early in my career I took every opportunity to work more. I maximized my job for every volunteer, leadership experience, summer conference, scholarship opportunity, and professional development seminar I could get until I couldn’t. Once I hit the ceiling, I left. These jobs became checklists. On the surface I looked like a motivated team player that loved to work. In reality I wasn’t sure what I wanted. Each path was a formula to get to this specific position. It was already built but not guaranteed. Additionally every path ahead of me meant losing a part of my core values; compromising or trading was part of the game. After several years I finally burned out. Life was telling me, “I need you to take a break whether you want to or not.”

After leaving one of the craziest places I ever worked I was excited to leave higher ed. I was also extremely scared because I didn’t know anything else. The job market was terrible. I had come to LA for that job and now I had financial obligations to keep. I wasn’t confident in myself nor was I as resilient as I had been in the past. I bounced around not feeling anywhere was for me or what I wanted to do. I’m currently in a more toned down role that pays the bills and I still feel like I’m making a difference. I’m not foregoing my values and I’m much healthier having good boundaries with work and sleeping through the nice without 2am emergency phone calls. I have hobbies that I enjoy.

When I look back in the last year I gave up many times. The for my job search was numbing. I was figuring out coaching and what I could offer to people without overextending myself. I was re-working a writing schedule and learning about how to post content. Although it’s still slow, I’m letting myself no give up but take needed breaks. I’m trying different things along the way adjusting to find what works for me. I set new boundaries with clients and changed my services to better suit what I was offering. It’s always been about changing. Pivot. Readjust. Learn a new skill. Rearrange your time. Try a different approach. Take a break. Come back to what you need and want. When you know it’s time to push forward or pull back, let yourself change.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
For over a decade I’ve worked in colleges and universities. I directly supported students living on-campus and being on-call. What started as supervision, managing residential spaces, and programming became crisis and care management. It’s become threat assessment, mental health scares, and compliance processes. For an APIDA, openly queer and trans staff member there are very few of us in student facing roles. I was unwelcomed and used a marketing tool to help people/institutions recover from major discriminatory backlash. I normalized taking on the burden of others until I burnt out. After I was diagnosed with PTSD my own mental wellbeing was in a tender place. I had time to think about what I wanted to do.
I’m still at a university. The stability of working for an institution is familiar for me and the engagement with students and faculty has always been confident boosting. The ability to understand a student’s struggles by actually listening or holding a colleagues frustrations feels like I’m in the right line of work. Now, I focus on who I need to help during the work day. I have enough experience to be efficient with my tasks. The work can be hard so I strive to come to work refreshed so I may engage thoughtfully with anyone and everyone. When I’m done for the day, I’m done. I go home and work on my house projects as a future investment. I’m relearning how to cook again within parameters of nutritional goals. When I wake up because I want to it’s a clear sign my eating, sleeping, and general health is doing well. I live a whole life outside my job. That’s feels quite good to be a whole person outside of my work ID and title. These changes have made way for the Velveteen to emerge.
With the Velveteen it’s a mass of projects (mostly because I’m indecisive and distracted all the time) to invest in art, design, pretty stuff, and thoughtfulness to merge what I know into a more exposed format. I’ve worked all over the U.S. and still want to keep exploring. Feeling tied to one institution was limiting. Continuing to foster the development of coaching and content is both experimental and a really exciting transition. If you’d like to hear more I plan on starting my own Substack. I have so many more stories and lessons tucked away that I want to share. I hope to see you there!

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
Because I work a 9 to 5 with a commute I would give my friend a list of places to visit and how to get there via car, metro train, or bus. To make it more fun I would probably make a tic-tac-toe board out of it to see how much the accomplish and cater it to what they like/want to see. The must-see would be:

Visit a beach for sunbath, people watch, run along the beach (if they are crazy like me and need to work out all the time), or take surf lessons. I love Manhattan Beach for running and going to San Diego for surfing via the Metrolink.

Walk in a museum. MOCA and JANM are in walking distance, but the Broad is extremely close as well. With the A line it’s a quick ride. Museums usually just need a small day fee or reservation to see a unique exhibit.

Go to a farmer’s market! There’s a whole list for each day of the week where all the farmer’s markets happen in LA so we don’t need to wait until the weekend. They can use the kitchen when they find unique fresh food or use the market to try a wide range of food/drinks.

Brunch Time. We are going for brunch at Sweet Maple, The Butcher, the Baker, the Cappuccino Maker, or Dialog. If we want something more intimate or less of a crowd we can get a smaller yet yummy bites are La Chouquette or The Humanist. We can also hit up North Hollywood or Silverlake for some fun coffee/matcha drinks.

Last but should have been first is all the coffee shops. If they want the trendy but also good cafes I’ll point to K Town. I have a list I’m re-curating. The places I still love are Civil Coffee in Highland Park, specifically and The Loft in K Town.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
There has been no shortage of teachers that have shaped how I think and see the world today. There has always been someone who will mentor, who will scold you, and who will raise your spirits. One of the biggest contributors for me has been the Washington Consulting Group. What I love about WCG is if a group of loving and diligent educators to come together to promote self-work. I attended the Social Justice Training Institute for 4 days of in-depth self work and thorough deep dive into D.E.I. Even though it has been several years the experience is still so applicable and timeless. I will miss not at conferences and seeing their faces, seeking their counsel.
When I lived in Vermont I was learning about Restorative Practices. It’s been a corner stone in my work within higher ed and student affairs. RP became more than just a tool or asset in student conflict. It’s become an approach to understanding people at their worst and a mindset toward people who treat you poorly. I continue to invest time and energy to exploring all the facets RP can support a person’s or group’s development.
As much as there have been transformative experiences from positive influences there has also been many lessons from negative interactions. Supervisors that wanted friendlier relationships that turned into oversharing personal details, tantrums, or placating coworkers as ‘family’; that’s a dysfunctional and hostile environment. I avoid buy-in. I operate with caution. We don’t need to change our whole identities to be a part of something good. Do your best to get the job done. Then, walk away when it no longer feels healthy or safe.
It’s been important for me to remember those who have opened my mind as much as those who have helped me define what doesn’t live in my headspace.

Website: https://substack.com/@thevlveteen

Instagram: @thevlveteen

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tahnbaepark

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tahn.bae.park/

Other: buymeacoffee.com/Tahnbaepark
thevlveteen.substack.com