Meet Tammy Nelson, PhD | Certified Sex and Couples’ Therapist

We had the good fortune of connecting with Tammy Nelson, PhD and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Tammy, what is the most important factor behind your success?
“Most people come to therapy to satisfy their partner, or when things are in crisis, instead of working preventatively. Individuals and couples can come to therapy for sexual issues, desire discrepancy, dysfunction, and betrayal.”

How do you think about risk, what role has taking risks played in your career?
“I have always been ahead of my time, writing books about sex and open relationships before the media and the psychotherapy world began to normalize that conversation. I have always been entrepreneurial and started my own group practice, with several locations, over the years as well as my training institute.”

What is the most important factor behind your success / the success of your brand?
“I am not afraid to use my personality and my presence in a way that feels transparent and flexible with my clients and my students, and when I am speaking. I have always been comfortable on stage, and can entertain a large audience. I can use narrative and story in my work to help explain more complex concepts, and I am a healer at heart. I believe that consumers sense that intention behind my work.”

What’s the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make?
“Every time I close a group practice or a training institute, it brings up all kinds of issues for me. I feel responsible for the well-being of my employees and contractors, and can hang on longer than necessary. But by nature, I am an expander, and always start new projects, books and businesses in order to stay contemporary.”

Do you have a favorite quote or affirmation? What does it mean to you / what do you like about it?
“George Bernard Shaw said, ‘The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.’

Right now, this quote is meaningful, as I work with people to improve their relationships. We think we have communicated, yet the receiver or our partner or coworker may only hear what we say through their own lens. We communicate not to listen but to share our opinions, and we need to practice deeper, more attentive and empathetic listening, in order to grow as a person, a partner and a nation.”

Why did you pursue a career in therapy?
“I have been a therapist, in a way, my whole life. I took care of my family and my friends, and have always had an interest in healing and relationships. My career has also given me a flexibility and freedom, where I could work for myself, make my own schedule and work around my children while they were growing up.”

Can you open up a bit about your work and career? We’re big fans and we’d love for our community to learn more about your work.
“I am a certified sex and couples’ therapist, and the author of six books on relationships, I am a TED speaker and host of the podcast The Trouble with Sex. I have been in private practice since 1992, and training as a therapist since the 80s. I am also the founder and Director of the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute, a training program that certifies psychotherapists in sex therapy and couples therapy. I also speak around the world at conferences and trainings. I have created an international career helping professionals and anyone in relationship. I also lead couples workshops, retreats and intensives. I use my Integrative Relationship Therapy approach, and at times my workshops and retreats use Ketamine. I am trained as an MDMA therapist and a Ketamine assisted psychotherapist.

I started working with couples and sexuality after graduate school, when I realized that therapists were not being trained to talk about sex, or work with people around eroticism. Even in couples therapy, even with affair recovery, there was very little training that integrated sexuality.”

What was the single most important decision you made that contributed to your success?
“One thing that I have learned over the 35 years of my career is that it’s important to say no, to limit your work to a specific lane, and to use self-care. I have a tendency to become overwhelmed with the many responsibilities of running an S Corp business and a private practice, and the myriad ways I work. It has been part of my success to not only expand my work, but sometimes to cut it back, to prune, and to say no if I’m too busy.”

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
“I would like people to remember me as a change maker, someone who was not afraid to talk about things, someone who shared and contributed to the healing of relationships. Relationships of all kinds are the most important part of healing from trauma, as we seek connection to one another and to our own inner narrative, we can integrate the difficult things that have happened to us and grow. Id like people to look back and use some of my techniques to help them heal.”

Website: http://drtammynelson.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctor_tammynelson

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drtammynelson

Twitter: https://x.com/drtammynelson

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTammyNelson/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiaoHKgXRJEsPbIDM-iIL8g

Image Credits
(Dr. Tammy Nelson)