Meet Vanessa Fierstadt | Grief Therapist and Educator, Director of Kintsugi Grief Center

We had the good fortune of connecting with Vanessa Fierstadt and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Vanessa, can you walk us through the thought-process of starting your business?

Kintsugi Grief Center had always been a tiny speck on my horizon, waiting to come to fruition. As a grief therapist and educator of the last 10 years creating community and a place for those who are grieving a place to rest was always a vision. At the age of 26 my husband died from a rare form of cancer. As a young therapist in LA at the time it was a very isolating and strange place to be. Grief groups for my age group were nonexistent. We know that death and dying education is very small not to mention that we live in a very death phobic society. It became very healing and necessary for me to create spaces for grievers of all ages, including children to have a place where they feel seen and heard.

For years, I had dreamed of creating a safe place for people to share their experiences of grief and loss, where they could find understanding and compassion. This dream is now a reality as Kintsugi Grief Centers doors are now open to the community .We are an organization dedicated to providing support and resources to those experiencing grief and loss, with the goal of helping them cope with their pain and find a sense of peace. Meaning through mending, much like that of Kintsugi which is the Japanese are art form of mending broken pottery with gold. That our pain is forever a part of us and deserves to be honored.

We offer a variety of services, from loss specific support groups (Child Loss, Spousal Loss, Perinatal Loss and many more) , as well as educational workshops and seminars. We also have an online platform where people can connect with one another and share their stories through our virtual support groups. Our goal is to provide a safe and welcoming space for people to explore their feelings and connect with others who can relate to their experience.

At Kintsugi Grief Center, we believe that grief is a powerful and personal journey, and we are here to provide the tools and resources to help people on that path. Our mission is to help create a culture where everyone can feel comfortable talking about their grief, and we strive to make sure that those who are grieving feel seen, heard, and supported.

Our nonprofit Kintsugi Legacy will also be providing what we call our aftercare programs. When grievers commence from their support groups it was only natural that I wanted to create a space for them to continue to build and be in community with others. Kintsugi Legacy will be provide experiences such as grief supper clubs, grief yoga, sound-baths and of course Kintsugi repair pottery classes. Stay tuned as we continue to grow these programs

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?

I have always enjoyed people and their life stories; naturally mental health was a calling for me very early on. However, I don’t think I could have told you that one day I would be specializing in grief let alone death and dying education. Life happens when we least expect it. After Greg died, I was just starting my therapy career. It was difficult to feel and notice the lack of grief support in the mental health world. Greg forever changed the trajectory of my life in many ways. And in opening the grief center, it is also and integration or our love and honoring him as I move forward in this life.

I began to realize the need for more education, research, and support in the field of death, dying, and grief. I started to learn more about these topics and began to take courses to better understand the grieving process. I realized early on that this work was so needed and I wanted to help others through their grief journey. This allowed me to understand the many facets of grief and how it affects people in different ways. I began to apply my lived experience and knowledge to my work and started to offer more specialized services to those who were struggling with grief, loss, and death. I believe that everyone deserves the right to experience their grief in a healthy way and I am dedicated to helping them do that.

Where did the name come from? Kintsugi is very meaningful for me. In my personal world I also a ceramicist /potter. I fell in love with deep and rich history of the Japanese art form

Kintsugi is a centuries-old Japanese art form that celebrates the beauty of imperfection.. Kintsugi treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. Kintsugi 金継ぎ, known as “golden joinery”  in which broken pottery is repaired using a lacquer containing gold powder. Instead of attempting to hide the repair, Kintsugi literally illuminates it. Kintsugi is practiced with a sense of intention and purpose. Driven by a deep desire to restore and rebuild, the individual gives new life to something precious that had been broken. In this way Kintsugi becomes a metaphor for the process of healing from loss; in essence, experiencing renewal and meaning through mending.The end result, whether a repaired bowl or a mended heart, pays homage to its history, its story, while also celebrating the revised version as something valuable and beautiful in its own right.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
Exploring Los Angeles is one of my favorite activities and I’m always up for an adventure! I’m also a major foodie, so fitting this whole itinerary into one day might be a challenge, so let’s plan for a long weekend instead. We could begin the morning in Pasadena with coffee from Jameson Brown Coffee Roasters, followed by breakfast at Copa vida, then a stroll down Green Street and around Old Town. For lunch, my favorite spot in Pasadena is Roma Market for an Italian sub that I usually grab to go and enjoy while watching the turtles in the Caltech pond. For dinner, Nicks on Lake is a great choice, but my absolute favorite dinner spot – one that I could eat at every night – is Night Market and Song in Silverlake. And if your in South Pasadena on a Thursday night you will not want to miss the South Pasadena Farmers market!

It’s also worth planning for a beach day – Malibu’s little coves are perfect for journaling, reading, or just taking in the sound of the waves. I could be there for hours and not know how much time has gone by.  Another recent favorite of mine is the Adamson House Museum, right off the PCH, offering various tours, my favorite of course is the beautiful ceramic history and pottery.
And if you’re up for it we will go sea glass hunting in Ventura and head to Vom Fass for olive oil and balsamic tasting. Topping the night off with oysters and the beast chowder at Lure. Are you hungry now?

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
My mother in law Kathy has always been a source of inspiration for me as we have navigated the difficult journey of grieving the loss of her son, Greg alongside each other . In the aftermath of his passing, she has been an invaluable source of comfort and strength. Her compassion and understanding has been a beacon of hope that has helped to guide me on my journey of creating spaces for those who are also facing the weight of grief. Her love has no bounds. Her insight and experience have been invaluable in helping me to develop these spaces to ensure that other grievers have a safe and understanding place to express and process their emotions. We talk often about how grateful that we have each other to lean on, love and heal with together.

Website: https://www.kintsugigrief.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi_grief_center/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-grief-center

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Kintsugi-Grief-Center-100088546636793/