Meet Orange County Deathworkers Alliance

We had the good fortune of connecting with Orange County Deathworkers Alliance and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Orange County, can you walk us through the thought-process of starting your business?
Because there aren’t a ton of people working in the death industry, we tend to find one another and become fast friends. The three of us who founded the Orange County Deathworkers Alliance – I, Barbara McMurray, and friends Debbie Naude, and Rickie Redman – met to talk about our practices, concerns, and interests in supporting people nearing the end of life. The more we talked, the more inspired we became. We knew there were other people who were doing related work, so we started a list. I hosted our first potluck gathering in May 2024. We started small, with a handful of social gatherings that had an educational component.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
Our first educational gathering was on the use of ketamine and psychedelics at the end of life by Dr. Nick Schiavoni, a local anesthesiologist. We’ve met to act as a focus group for a new app member Sandy Marshall is developing for caregiving family members. We heard from member Dr. Donnie Moore, who specializes in medical aid-in-dying (MAID) and palliative care. The BBC recently interviewed him as the UK debates the legalization of MAID for their country. This year, we’re planning on hosting community gatherings such as Death Cafes, field trips, and educational workshops.
Everyone in the Alliance is here to help shift the cultural experience around death, bringing more intention and grace, and breaking down aversions to discussing death. We each came to this work through our personal experiences, and each of us has set out to do it in our own unique way. In addition to death doulas, the Alliance has physicians, pastors, caregivers, hospice volunteers, artists who create beautiful legacy work, folks supporting the LGBTQ+ community, and plant medicine advisors.

We live in a culture that is obsessed with youth, where aging is avoided at all costs, so it’s no surprise most people don’t want to talk about death. The OC Deathworkers Alliance is a space to gather and support one another. More than that, it gave us a space of belonging and encouragement. It’s such a relief to be surrounded by a group of people who can share a meal and talk about death. While we might be a little obsessed with death, contrary to what you might think, we’re mainly focused on life. When your work is about endings, it really puts life into perspective.

Like me, several of our members are death doulas, or end-of-life practitioners. Death doulas provide non-medical, non-judgmental support and guidance to individuals and families. They nurture, inform, support, guide, empower, and comfort as they work with other caregivers and medical team members. Doulas foster self-determination in their clients by helping them gather information and encouraging them to make informed choices that are right for them. They locate resources and make referrals adapted to the unique needs and requirements of each family served.
For me, it is sacred work to be present for a person at the end of their life. I am honored to help a person’s loved ones navigate. I am here to make the experience more enriching and deeper and less confusing and awful. It is life-affirming to bear witness and share this most human moment.

This burgeoning field has been around for as long as humans have been dying. Until the 20th century, people used to die and be prepared for burial at home by their loved ones. The funeral industry gained power and remade death as something morbid, unclean, and best left to professionals. We want to change all that and the way Americans view death. What happens when you flip the script and see death as a completion to one’s story, a graduation from this life we have known, rather than a defeat or failure? Death remains a mystery and a source of grief, but one we can learn to befriend. The more we think and talk about it, the more we appreciate the everyday moments, the people around us, the feeling of sun on our skin. We can break free from the childlike denial that it will happen to us and use our time to love life even as we prepare to leave it, because we will, 100% guaranteed. We need to always be prepared for death – physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially because it can visit us anytime.

I very much want readers to know that medical aid in dying (MAID) has been legal in California since 2016. People with life-limiting conditions can decide for themselves, when they meet certain criteria, to determine their final moments.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
Rickie: Cafe Santo! It’s an Oaxacan coffee shop in Montebello owned by Marlon and Pilar.
Marlon is from Oaxaca and is super passionate about coffee. Pilar creates the most visually
stunning videos and photography that add to the charm and artistry of Cafe Santo. Do yourself
a favor and check out their instagram and then beeline over for a tasty treat. 

Barbara: If it’s morning, I’d go to downtown Laguna Beach and get a beverage at Equator
Coffee, then head into the beautifully refurbished Rivian South Coast Theater. The view of Main
Beach from the upstairs balcony is outstanding. Then off to Laguna Art Museum to see what
they’ve got on the walls.
 If it’s happy hour, I’d have a glass of tempranillo and a pizza at Wine Gallery. 

Debbie: Have a drink and go listen to the exciting bands that come through Mozambique.
https://mozambiqueoc.com/

Take a hike in the Dana Point Headlands or Laurel Canyon in Laguna Canyon. 

Chaupain Bakery in Laguna Hills https://chaupainbakery.com/
Wild Strawberry Cafe in Laguna Beach https://www.wildstrawberrycafe.com/

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
Rickie:
Cafe Santo, see above.
Chico Mann, LA-based musician of Antibalas and Here Lies Man – @chicomann

Barbara:
LA band Very Be Careful, which mixes Colombian vallenato – with its roots in Caribbean music –
and cumbia. Makes me wanna dance.  @verybecareful

Laguna Art Museum, whose director Julie Perlin Lee is doing some interesting things to draw in
the community as the museum fulfills its mission to exclusively showcase California artists.
@lagunaartmuseum

Debbie:
My daughter Frances just opened Lightwork Laguna Beach, a healing haven for reiki and tarot.
@FrancesNaude and at https://www.lightworklagunabeach.com/

One of our members, Julie Brennan, started a business called Peace of Minder that helps you
organize your essential documents in one place. https://www.peaceofminder.com/

Website: https://www.ocdeathworkers.com/

Image Credits
Barbara McMurray
Jennie Ibrahim
Jeff Rovner
Ari Medoff