We had the good fortune of connecting with Emily Wilcox and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Emily, how has your perspective on work-life balance evolved over time?
I feel at the earlier stages of my career, a little over a decade ago, I was a work horse; constantly writing, coaching, planning – always on the go and trying to build my brand. This, of course, was before the big social media boom, so options and opportunities were tougher to come by. It was much more imperative to work harder at being seen in my field. Finally writing my book, “The Commitment Phobe,” helped open doors. And I still can’t figure out Instragram! But this was all before I had a child, when I was able to dedicate more time to my work. I am always growing, learning and changing, I am not the same version of myself that I was twelve years ago. I now take more time for me and had to cut back significantly on my client load. And I wanted to dedicate the first five years of my daughter’s life to her – this was a conscious plan. Now, I take mornings for tea and yoga, afternoons for some work and Thursday through Sunday I have off. I would not be a good coach to anyone if I didn’t first take the time for some self coaching. I went from hustle mentality to happiness mentality and I find that this works much better in all facets of my life.
What should our readers know about your business?
I work as a Relationship Coach, specializing in love addiction and commitment phobia. While I always knew I was acutely interested in my love life and the love lives of those around me, my infatuation with psychology and interpersonal relationships began at a very young age. As a child, I would often blurt out or recycle unsolicited advice from what I thought to be relevant sources and my own “intuition.” Most of my heady behaviors derived naturally from childhood traumas. However, I never expected my career would be in psychology.
I suffered tremendously as a child, with what I like to call “Big T Trauma” and I am a believer that our past can direct us towards our future. We just have to make sure we guide it in a conscious motion as to not fall from grace, which I unfortunately did in my teens and 20’s. It was the process of rebuilding that I created and found my life’s work.
I wanted my latest book, “The Commitment Phobe” to be an honest, thought-provoking and enlightened book on relationships for a generation where we learned that self worth is elusive and much easier found in the love we can get from men. Beyond smut and sanctimony, I wanted women to be unafraid to challenge their emotional pasts and sexual correctness. I challenge my readers to go beyond the common labels and find themselves.
I learn daily how to master the art of relationship coaching. The great thing about being an expert on the field of relationships is that I don’t have to worry about age-ism and boredom.
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I love nature, so Treepeople would top my list! Sushi and The Den for some meditation would be my ideal. Downtown offers so much diversity and culture. The best thing about Los Angeles is the weather, so the beach would be the best place to finish a trip.
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
My mentor and friend, the late Shakti Gawain, who has been such a main source of inspiration for my life’s work, is to whom I would give the biggest shoutout. Although, I’m pretty sure her afterlife is much more interesting than my praise!