We had the good fortune of connecting with J’Lamar Nichols and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi J’Lamar, can you walk us through the thought-process of starting your business?
I started We Find HIM after my second engagement ended. After a year of therapy I realized that I wanted to turn my pain into purpose so I decided that I wanted to help same gender loving men find real love. My mission from day one has not been to just match two people and keep it moving, the true mission will always be to help those two men find self love first and then assist them with finding someone that loves them as much as they love themselves. This was a flaw that I realized that I lacked in both of engagements and I wanted to make sure I could help as many people not make the same mistake that I made. So to answer the question the process behind starting my business was truly heartbreak that turned into healing that turned into self love that turned into me finding my purpose than then turned into We Find HIM Matchmaking and Dating Services. I would have never thought heart break would lead me to having a successful business, being featured on one of the top dating shows in the world as a dating expert (Married At First Sight Couples Couch), and living my dreams in Los Angeles.
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
We Find HIM Matchmaking and Dating Services, founded in 2015, is an exclusive luxury dating brand centered towards same gender loving single men who are serious about love find the man of their dreams. Whether you are a veteran dater or brand new to the scene, We Find H.I.M. is bringing a level of class and sophistication singles have long awaited. We Find HIM has hosted singles mixers and speed-dating events in Atlanta, Los Angeles, and in 2024 will be venturing to other major cities. Our personalized style of matchmaking and coaching offers you a bold alternative to the out-of-the-box packages offered around the country. As well as our Matchmaking Packages we do offer services a la carte and which will be discussed after meeting with our Executive Matchmaker. A la carte services include date planning, wardrobe styling, fitness planning, gift shopping, private dating mixers, and so much more. This sophisticated approach allows us to focus less on membership levels and more on making your experience memorable. We have matched clients in Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, London, DC, New York, Miami, Toronto, Houston, Las Vegas, And Los Angeles. We Find HIM is one of the few black queer owned matchmaking and dating services in the country.
Social Media has been a great key to our success. 85% of our matches and clients come from social media. In this day and age people want to be able to access a business in the palm of their hand so we want to make sure we can meet that requirement for our existing and future clients. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned along the way was posting on social media matters when it comes to being a business owner. Posting zero as a small business owner really effects your business so I’ve had to be more creative when it comes to social media.
One of the highlights of my career has been being a Dating Expert on Married At First Sight: Couples Couch. To have to opportunity to work with a franchise that I admire and love was a dream come true. Also, getting DMs from the fans of the show telling me how much they enjoyed me on the show was just everything. One viewers wrote me one time and said you are a black queer dating expert on Lifetime…..that’s a big deal and I just paused in that moment and cried because for the first time in my career I realized that I was making an unintentional impact on people’s lives and people are rooting for me that I never even met. That also taught me a valuable lesson to just be yourself and people will love you for you!
If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Monday we would do dinner at the Highlight room in Hollywood then walkover to Station 1640 and do karaoke because they have the best karaoke in the city then go to Sofitel for a night cap and listen to live music. Tuesday we would go to Universal Studios then Taco Tuesday at Pink Taco and end the night at Or Bar in WeHo for Love Jones Tuesday.
Wednesday we would do the Hollywood Bus Tour to see celebrity homes. then do lunch at WEHO Bistro. Then for dinner we would do Beauty & Essex then end the night grabbing cocktails and good vibes at Mamas Shelter in Hollywood.
Thursday: Spa Day at Glen Ivy then dinner at Perch DTLA then Chapel Thursday night for drinks and dancing.
Friday: Beach day at Will Rogers Beach, then a late lunch at Moonshadows in Malibu then dinner and drinks at Classic Cat then head over to West Hollywood to bar hop.
Saturday: We would start the day with a hike at Runyon then brunch at &Waffle. Then head to Six Flags for a Big Kid Day! Lastly grab dinner at Ysabel’s then dance the night away in West Hollywood.
Sunday: Church at One Church LA then brunch at Castaway Burbank then midday drinks and vibes at Harriets Rooftop in Hollywood then Trunks in WEHO and end the night at Legacy Weho.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Wow there are really so many amazing people that have contributed and that are still contributing to my success. So I will just name them my Mom (Ms. Renee), my besties Matty & Crystal, my creative circle Morgan, Monique, Archie, Tyler, Ben, Felicia, Nyerere, Drew, Justin, Qorrie, Chris Philaye, Antonio, Jon, Nate, Rod Doug, Donnie, Javontae, Eric, OC, Lavelle, Gab, Kelvin, TJ and others who really motivate and pour into me when I really need it. Being a creative and a business own is such a vulnerable life because you put your wildest ideas out in the world and pray that people love them as much as you do. Having a tribe that really pours into you in very needed in LA. Sorry I couldn’t just name one because all of these people check on me if not daily weekly to make sure I am good and make sure that I never give up on my dreams. Also special shout out to organizations like Speak Out, In The Meantime, and The Vision Foundation who not only believe in me but believe in our black queer leaders and creatives.
Website: www.WeFindHim.com
Instagram: @IamJLamar @WeFindHIM
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jlamarnichols/
Other: Hosting Reel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_xePqjQYPo
Image Credits
Craig Starr