Meet Meghan Kelly | Certified High Conflict Divorce Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Meghan Kelly and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Meghan, we’d love to hear more about how you thought about starting your own business?
When I went through my divorce, I felt entirely alone. I had a therapist. I had a lawyer. I had an incredibly supportive network of family and friends. But I was missing someone who had been in my shoes…someone who could relate to my fears from a place of genuine empathy and lived experience. I began Now Free & Found to be for others the person I wish I had when I began my own divorce journey.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
Now Free & Found was established as a coaching service for individuals seeking divorce-related support beyond their existing means. I realized that many people in toxic relationships turn to family, friends or trusted mental health professionals to help them decide whether to stay in an unhealthy marriage or leave. While loved ones and therapists can be very helpful in terms of processing tough emotions, many people facing divorce need additional guidance and containment from someone who understands the process and can help strategize.

My academic and professional background was in the field of Nutrition. I completed my undergraduate and graduate degrees in Food Science and Nutrition, and worked in the nutraceutical field for a large dietary supplement company.

After eight years with my company, I left my job to have kids and slowly realized my job became surviving in a very toxic marriage and raising my girls. In 2018, I left my ex-husband after a nearly 8 year marriage and over fifteen years together. My girls were only 2.5 and 5. The divorce itself was and continues to be a high-conflict situation. We were in and out of court and luckily the girls were with me the vast majority of the time. I was granted full legal and physical custody in 2019, and things have thankfully remained since.

A year and a half after I divorced, I met a man named Spencer through mutual friends. It was a perfect set-up, and the course of my life has been forever changed for the better since meeting him. During Covid, our relationship became very serious. We bought a home together, got pregnant, were married by my dad on Christmas Eve in my parent’s backyard with just family, and welcomed our son in March of 2021. The girls wrote Spencer vows for our wedding and my oldest wrote and sang an original song she had prepared with her vocal coach in the months leading up to our wedding. It rained that day. It was perfect.

Before my son was born, I felt a strong urge to start my own divorce-support business. During the first year of my divorce, a number of friends connected me with their friends who were struggling in their marriages. I was able to show up for these women as a relatable, supportive source of support, and as a result, I began to envision a business.

After doing countless questionnaires to determine my enneagram and after consulting a business coach, I realized I had the strongest pull toward helping people in high-conflict relationships, divorces and custody battles. Through my research, I learned there was a whole world of like-minded people who shared the same business model. I completed an extensive training program to be certified as a High Conflict Divorce Coach under the phenomenal Tina Swithin of One Mom’s Battle, read countless books on high-conflict personalities, narcissism, trauma and divorce, and created my own program.

Connecting with my clients, nurturing a safe and supportive environment, and holding space for their stories without judgment came very easy to me and quickly I built a network of clients all over the country. That said, I was admittedly not confident in any sort of business mindset, and if I could have given my services away for free, I would have. I struggled with setting a rate and structuring how I was going to schedule clients and bill them. That aspect of starting a business was all very overwhelming for me. Thankfully, everything settled into place after I spent time realizing the value I offered and once I learned about tools like Calendly, Squarespace and Jotform. I also hired a really awesome web-developer who helped me launch with the more technical stuff.

That is my business offering — a kind, compassionate approach to decision-making, strategy and healing as it relates to high-conflict divorce and custody battles. And when it comes to custody, I cannot stress enough a child-centered approach that focuses on what is best for the children and their unique needs. I am not interested in working with someone who prioritizes retaliation and revenge over being reasonable, willing to work, and child-minded.

To market myself and let people know about my business, I began an instagram account dedicated to sharing content about a wide array of divorce and relationship topics. They ranged from interviewing attorneys, to supporting kids through divorce, to understanding narcissistic personalities, to dating after divorce, to setting boundaries, to understanding manipulative tactics used by high-conflict people, to recognizing the flaws of our family law system and more.

I began to share my story and how I went through my own high-conflict divorce and felt called to help others go through their divorce journeys. Interested clients began to schedule sessions with me and I realized that my business was helpful for individuals who were deciding whether to divorce, who were in the middle of divorce or who had already signed their divorce decree. Over the years, I would say the majority of my clients find me when they are contemplating divorce, and need help making the decision and hiring an attorney. That generally builds out to a long-standing working relationship where I walk alongside them from filing to getting court orders and a court-stamped judgment.

What have I learned along the way? Oh gosh. So much.

For starters, I realized that healing from the trauma of divorce is not destination-focused. There is no end point. Rather, it is a journey full of learning opportunities and chances to grow. I have done this work for three of the six years I have been divorced, and have continued to realize this fact personally, which has become a gift I can reflect back to my clients.

I have also learned about the importance of balance. This work is a lot to take on emotionally, and so I have learned that I need to be very diligent in my schedule and how I make myself available for clients so that I can show up grounded, present and ready to listen. I have also learned that I cannot save anyone or make decisions for them. I can guide them, share information, ask thought-provoking questions, and listen actively. I can hold space with compassion and relate to their stories with purpose. But at the end of the day, it is all their choice.

At the beginning of my career, I would lose hours of sleep worried about clients and whether or not they were making the right choice. I would hear many anecdotes that would have me wanting to rescue them from their relationships and make the decision to divorce for them. Obviously, that was not healthy or helpful, and so I spent time going back to my mission which was to be for others the person I so desperately needed when I went through my divorce. I didn’t need someone to rescue me. I knew no one else could walk the path for me. But I craved someone who got it, who was educated on the topic, who was empathetic, and who had lived it.

Today, I am so proud of the business I have built and so grateful to carry out my mission. I am excited to broaden my offering of workshops and support groups, perhaps write a book and maybe someday build a team of coaches.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
Oh this is a fun question! So many things to do!

On day one, we would go for workout at my favorite new strength training spot, Iron Method, and then come home to massages from my favorite in-home masseuse. Then, we’d get showered, dressed and take off to Hollywood where we would see a play at the Pantages theater after having dinner at Musso and Frank, the oldest restaurant in Hollywood. They have the best martinis, the ones with the side cars and such fabulous servers. The food is good, too, but its the vibe and energy of the place that makes it so special.

The next day we would begin with a yoga class at CorePower Yoga in Studio City, and then head back to the house for a morning jacuzzi and breakfast. For lunch, we’d head over to the Castaway Restaurant in Burbank and soak up the view. For our evening plans, we would head over to East LA to walk around the super cool streets and shops of Silverlake and grab dinner and drinks at Bacari in the trees. Movie and a fire when we got home.

The next day would be a Dodger theme day. We would chill during the day by the pool at home. Around 4:30 we would take off for Dodger stadium for some pre-game fun before everything kicked off at 7:10pm. The Dodgers would win and Mookie would hit a grand slam homer. There would be fireworks and we’d be sitting right behind the Dodger’s dugout.

The next day would be a Downtown LA day. We’d start at the Broad museum downtown before making our way to the Art’s Districts for lunch at Manuela’s and pop into Artbook bookstore in the Hauser & Wirth building. Then off to Art’s District Brewery where we would play ski ball and watch sports, then to Cha Cha Cha for some rooftop margaritas and then dinner at Bestia.

On day five, we would hit the beach in Santa Monica. Lunch at Big Dean’s, a bike ride on the boardwalk, a trip around the roller coaster and Ferris wheel on the pier and then home to get dressed for an Los Angeles Football Club (LAFC) game at BMO Stadium. They would win and the 3252 would be entertaining us all with their spectacular supporter section cheers and dances.

On day six, we would head to Union Station for a train ride to San Juan Capistrano where we would get off and dine at Ramos House Cafe while watching the trains go by. We’d pop over to Zoomers at River Ranch in the Los Rios Historic District before boarding to head back to Union Station. We’d arrive home around 5:30pm, walk over to Olvera Street for dinner and then head home for a cozy night in and a movie.

On our last day, we would hang here at home all day. Play ping pong, hop in the pool, make lunch, have a jacuzzi, take a neighborhood bike ride and just hang out!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
My two daughters, Leah and Liv! They are who gave me the strength to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep evolving and to keep learning. It was because I wanted to give them a better life that I left my first marriage, and it is because I love them with all my heart and want the absolute best for them, that I continue to work on myself and do this work. I would also dedicate this to my loving husband, Spencer, who has supported me in this venture from day one, and our son, River, who keeps us laughing, smiling and celebrating life!

Website: www.nowfreeandfound.com

Instagram: @nowfreeandfound

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meghan-kelly-ms-nowfreeandfound/

Image Credits
Stephanie Loren Photography