Meet Monica Ramil | Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Owner of Monica Ramil Therapy, Inc.
We had the good fortune of connecting with Monica Ramil and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Monica, what matters most to you?
Honesty is one of my top values. I grew up in a Filipino household where it was an unspoken agreement that we did not talk about certain things, including things that so desperately needed to be talked about in order to be healed.
On the one hand, I can understand the desire to keep the peace, especially in a collectivist culture. However, I’ve also seen firsthand that holding back one’s true feelings and not addressing important things can and does lead to unmet needs, resentment, contention, and even conflict, which in turn, makes being in relationship to each other that much harder.
I’ve learned to value honesty and see its worth. For me, honesty reflects a level of self-respect and boundaries AND it also communicates respect for the other person(s) and faith in your relationship, as well as a commitment to try to do better.
Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
Monica Ramil Therapy Inc. focuses on serving the needs of Filipina/x, women and couples helping them work through anxiety, communication, family/relationship wounds, self-defeating thoughts & old patterns.
What sets us apart is that we do not take the stance of expertise so common in western culture. We believe everyone has the tools to heal themselves. Our work is about helping our clients access these tools and providing a safe, culturally-relevant space that allows them to do so.
We also acknowledge that we can’t facilitate healing without looking at the systems that have created many of the problems we and our clients face, which is why decolonization is at the heart of our practice. We aim to de-center western perspectives and approaches. We do this by helping our clients explore their values, beliefs and goals, inviting discernment around which ones they truly resonate with and which ones they have internalized from parents, culture, society, etc.
Getting to where I am today has truly been a journey. It has taken a lot of trial and error, self-discovery, active unlearning of self-doubt and scarcity mindset, burnout, understanding myself within a capitalist context, engaging with community, learning about Filipina/x/o history, continuously educating myself, setting and reassessing boundaries, embodying other forms of wisdom and spirituality, listening to the wisdom in my body, and REST!
One big lesson that I’ve learned and continually learn is to have grace for myself. Grace when I make mistakes. Grace to not compare myself to others. (And grace for when I do.) Grace to allow myself understanding. Grace to let go of things, people, ways of being or thinking that no longer serve me or my growth. And again, grace to allow myself rest.
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
It’s in my blood to make sure people I care about are fed, so food would definitely be a theme and a good place to start. We would begin our morning by grabbing mouthwatering kouign amann pastries at B Patisserie before heading off to a picturesque walk in Crissy Fields alongside the iconic Golden Gate Bridge. For lunch, we would head to Hog Island Oyster Co. at the Ferry Building where we would enjoy some oysters and other bites while watching commuters and tourists alike come and go on the ferries. We could people watch at the Farmers’ Market and appreciate all the goodies the Ferry Building has to offer.
Another leisurely stroll along the Embarcadero would lead us to Pier 39 where we would take in the sights, sounds and smells, marvel at the sea lions and maybe even let them teach us a thing or two about slowing down. Crab and Garlic noodles at Thanh Long are what’s for dinner. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty. It’s well worth it!
Morning #2 would start with a brunch at Millbrae Pancake House -known for their breakfast menu, good portions and fast service. We could take a walk on the SF Bay Trail which offers gorgeous, undisturbed views of the Bay. Afternoon ice cream is always a good idea. Mitchell’s Ice Cream is known for it’s tropical flavors like Ube, Macapuno (Coconut) and Halo Halo (based off the Filipino dessert) but also has a long list of other equally-satisfying flavors such as Kahlua Mocha Cream or Grasshopper Pie. On a Thursday, we may wrap the evening up by heading to NightLife at the Academy of Sciences taking in all the animals and exhibits in a fun, music-filled atmosphere for ages 21 and up. The Academy of Sciences houses 40,000 live animals, an immense aquarium and a four-story Rainforest! Outdoor dining beneath the stars is also a plus.
Morning #3 would commence with panoramic views from Twin peaks. Hopefully, Karl the Fog will have cleared by then. (The fog is so ever-present that we even named it.) We’d grab some Chicken ’N Waffles at Hard Knox Cafe in the Dogpatch and treat ourselves to homemade ice cream from Mr. and Mrs. Miscellaneous. We’d spend the afternoon hanging out in the Mission, appreciating the culture, local eateries, and gorgeous murals. We would grab crafty cocktails and tapas for dinner at Limon and finish with a night cap at any of the various bars in the area. Blondie’s or Skylark are good options for music on the weekends.
Day 4 could be even more leisurely. We could walk through Golden Gate Park and even plop ourselves on the grass for an afternoon nap. The DeYoung Museum, Japanese Tea Garden and Botanical Gardens are just a few things the Park has to offer.The neighborhood of North Beach is a world of its own. We would browse the streets and take in the pyramid-shaped Transamerica building before having a relaxed dinner at Cafe Jacqueline, consisting of handmade soufflés by the Octogenarian herself. Post-dinner bar hopping and even live music are both accessible options in North Beach.
Day 5 -No trip to SF would be complete without supporting one of the local teams. Sports are a big part of SF culture, so it would be remiss to leave this out. We could catch a day game at Oracle Park and cheer on the Giants while donning obligatory Giants gear. A Burmese Dinner at Mingalaba in Burlingame is a must — Michelin-rated yet home-y and warm. We’d order their House Special Noodles, Mango Salad and anything else we’re craving as it’s guaranteed to be delicious. Window shopping along Burlingame Ave is a nice way to wrap up the night.
Days 6 and 7 could include a visit to the SF Museum of Modern Art or the Legion of Honor, a picturesque lunch at Beach Chalet overlooking Ocean Beach, shopping in Union Square, and grabbing some infamous boba from Boba guys or coffee from Bare Bottle or Philz, both local favorites. A trip across the Bay Bridge would take us to Treasure Island where we would take in awesome views of the City (the local name for SF). Or we could head north across the Golden Gate Bridge and take in views of the City from a cute town called Sausalito. Happy Hour at 7 Mile House in Brisbane is a local favorite. Boasting a menu of Filipino, Italian, and American food, not to mention a dog menu, this hangout is similar to the sitcom Cheers. Many lifelong friendships are created at this family-owned spot.
Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
I want to shoutout Vanessa Garcia — mentor, friend, sister, former employer, fellow entrepreneur and owner of 7 Mile House Restaurant. She has been a big part of my process and has supported my growth both personally and professionally. Her work ethic is admirable and her ability to lead and command respect while also being approachable and warm is a very, rare balance and exactly why she is so loved by employees and patrons alike. I call on her energy as I continue to grow as an entrepreneur. I reference her as I reflect on the kind of practice owner/supervisor/boss I want to be.
Website: www.monicaramiltherapy.com
Instagram: @filipina_therapist
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/monicaramiltherapy/
Image Credits
Outdoor photo with bridge by Minrae Photo Studio Photo with cream wrap by In Her Image Photo
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