Meet Valerie Vibar | Actor, Comedian, Painter, Pianist, Singer, Writer, Producer

We had the good fortune of connecting with Valerie Vibar and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Valerie, how do you define success?
I was raised by very successful and accomplished people, and I was aware of it even at a young age. Despite their success, I looked at them as normal people who were very human. So I have a skewed view on success. I don’t look at success like how the general public sees it. For me, success is something that one strives for and gives them feelings of pride. To have a good job and to live comfortably, that was a must in my family. And I felt so much pressure to live up to what was our normal. When I tried to achieve what they achieve, it gave me anxiety. It didn’t make me proud of myself. What gave me happiness and pride were art, music, literature, and films. The process of being so one with your emotions and imagination is so liberating and fascinating. It gave me friends, hopes, and dreams. It gave me a sanctuary that I couldn’t find in this world that is defined by money and greed.

Success, for me, will always be happiness and freedom. It is not money or power. My grandmother used to tell me that my uncle became successful doing what he loved. And that’s how I view success. It’s love. It’s happiness. And I’m glad that I was raised by the people who raised me because, despite running after happiness, my feet are firmly on the ground.

Alright, so let’s move onto what keeps you busy professionally?
I do way too many things – I’m an actor, a stand-up comic, a painter/illustrator, a screenwriter, a producer, a pianist, a singer, and a dancer. That’s a lot.

What sets me apart and what I’m most proud and excited about — I’m not afraid to be me. I’m influenced by so many things because I enjoy learning. I’m filming my comedy special soon, and I have a solo art show coming up. I call both “Baby Girl,” “Baby Girl Pt. 1” for the art show and “Baby Girl Pt. 2” for the comedy show because this baby girl has grown up.

For a long time, I rejected womanhood and femininity because of what I was exposed to. Although it’s already 2024, I grew up in a time when gender roles were still very strict. It was etched in my mind that I’m a woman, and my happiness will come from having a husband and children and serving them. It was etched in my mind that a woman’s worth is based on her appearance, that talent and intelligence are only secondary to her physical attributes. That frightened me. I rejected that belief, but it was such an integral part of society back then that I felt as if I couldn’t escape it. I was afraid to be a woman. I was afraid to be feminine, but I don’t feel that anymore.

I’m embracing womanhood at the ripe age of 32, and that’s what I’m currently very proud of. I didn’t realize my struggle to accept this until I was hanging my artwork for my art show. I felt such great relief that I wanted to cry. My earlier works had women whose mouths were taped, whose eyes were covered, and whose pendants had the word “behave” etched on them. Despite such terrifying images, the women I drew/painted showed strength and resilience. They were controlled and forced into roles they despised, but determination was in their eyes. As the years progressed, the women I painted/drew changed. The tapes on their mouths and their blindfolds were slowly starting to unravel. They were finally facing the audience instead of looking away, and they were being embellished by strong animals such as lions, tigers, and dragons. As I looked through my work, I saw the challenge that women face, the hill that people who have been silenced have to climb. I saw a strong woman who refused to bow down to society’s norms. I saw someone finally embracing the power that society had told her was forbidden for her to have.

Perseverance and good relationships brought me where I am today. Tenacity is something that I believe is built into me, but happiness is something that I seek. I say this because, well, you could be the most hardworking person in the room, but if you’re angry and constantly carrying demons, it could push some people away. Good relationships came when I worked on myself. And that was the hard part. I didn’t mind working 18-20 hours a day. What I feared was conquering my demons. I didn’t mind facing them. I always ran towards them because I wanted to overcome them. But a battle’s always a battle, and this is a battle that I believe I’m overcoming every day. You’re your own brand and story, and every story is beautiful in its own unique way. I had to learn how to love myself and fully embrace the person that I am – a strong woman who stands on the same pedestal as everyone else. No woman (or man) should ever be told that their worth is based on their submissiveness to their husband (or wife or partner). Every woman is a queen (or king). Whether or not they decide to find a king to rule their kingdom with, that’s their own decision.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I would have to say Santa Barbara. I fell in love with Santa Barbara the moment I stepped foot in that place. It’s just so magical, The beach, the mountains, the Spanish architecture. I love everything about Santa Barbara. It’s my happy place.

If we were to stay in LA, Rancho Palos Verdes is so beautiful. I just love chilling on the cliffs watching the ocean. My life is pretty busy, so I always prefer to go to these more quiet and hidden places. My favorite restaurant has to be Fire My Pasta which used to be called Supremo. It’s in Mid City, and their pasta is bomb.

Other than that, I usually let them decide where to go. Whenever I’m on vacation or if I’m traveling, I honestly just want to relax. Staycations are what attracts me.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
This shoutout has to go to an old lover.

When I moved to LA from the Philippines, I lived with my sister who had this manipulative yet impressive plan of ruining my name and leaving me in LA with no friends, no family, and no money. But that’s another story for another time. Anyway, when she left me, I was utterly alone and broke. I had 3 jobs at one point, and I was only living on 2-4 hours of sleep a day. This led to me having severe panic attacks because my body was under so much stress. I even lost 30 lbs in a month, and then I gained 50 lbs later on. I was frightened. Frightened of the present and frightened of the past. Most of all, utterly terrified of the future because I wasn’t living up to the expectations people had of me. At that point in life, I was lost, lonely, and extremelely exhausted.

I met this lover, whose name I couldn’t tell because he’s a public person, during that time when I was desperate to cling to something or someone who could give me a sense of home. He was gorgeous, surrounded by powerful people, incredibly talented and knowledgeable, and more. On the surface, he was perfection. Inside, there was a lot of shame. He was running from his demons. The more he ran from them, the more I ran towards him. Despite everything, he pushed me to the surface when all I wanted to do was sink in the ocean.

This lover convinced me to paint again. He convinced me to write screenplays. And so much more. All because he truly believed in me when I didn’t see my own worth. I also have this strange part of me that I find funny. When I get angry, I become extremely productive. Because me and him are in the same field, there were times when we’d fight about my projects. So I’d walk out and come back with more accomplishments that would surprise him and me both.

The first time I left him (this happened so many times), I remember crying on my bed and promising myself, “It’s time I reclaim the person I lost.” And please don’t demonize him. I didn’t lose myself because of him. I lost myself years ago before I even met him. My relationship with him was what ultimately helped me find myself and bring me on the road to healing. Anyway, that was the first time I truly felt as if I was fighting for me. It was him, not anyone else, who made me realize that I can have the life that I want and deserve.

Website: www.valerievibar.com

Instagram: @valerie.vibar

Image Credits
Fernando Ruiz Steve Meier Richard Alvarez Jason Ward