Meet Shivani Desai | Actor

We had the good fortune of connecting with Shivani Desai and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Shivani, how do you think about risk?
Having grown up watching Bollywood cinema, my interest in the arts was sparked at a young age – but I only realised at age 16 that I wanted to be an actor. The pushback for making an “impractical” and “premature” career choice at a young age from the people around me was palpable, but I nonetheless have relentlessly pursued the path of making art for a living ever since. It was a risk – standing up for myself and the career I wanted, especially in the face of naysayers who made very valid points – but I had a gut feeling that acting was my calling. It meant potentially damaging my relationship with these people as well as having to bite my tongue if their fears and concerns indeed ended up panning out exactly the way they thought. But it was a chance I had to take.

I started my journey into acting by acquiring an education in theatre and acting – yet another risk, because it meant that I was investing a lot of time, effort, and money into a very specific type of education that may never bring me returns. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Theatre Studies from the National University of Singapore and have completed courses in acting from various institutions and studios around the world, such as MetFilm School London, Seth Caskey Coaching, Anupam Kher’s Actor Prepares, Jeff Goldberg Studio Mumbai, and The Casting Director’s Cut to name a few! I remember signing up for a course at Career ACTivate just 2 weeks ago – money was extremely tight and it was a fee I could just barely afford to pay – and in the bid to quell my financial anxieties, I recall telling myself “if I take a risk and make an investment in my career, it’ll pay off”. I’ve never received an affirmation stronger from the universe that I made the right choice when I spent the next week after this decision swarmed, for the very first time, with audition requests from markets I wasn’t even working in.

That’s not to say that I’ve always had a linear and positive relationship with risk-taking, however. I definitely lost my path along the way and made a detour to an alternative profession – teaching. I had been teaching part-time ever since I was 17, so it was the natural route for me to take back in 2020 when I felt pressurized from external forces (such as a global pandemic) to make a practical career choice after being unemployed for 9 months. It’s been one of the few moments in my life where I succumbed to the narrative that risk-taking is for privileged who can deal comfortably with the consequences of it. Fortunately for me, around a year later, I realized that the feeling of being so disconnected from my identity as an artist was taking a toll on me and decided to quit my job – another risk. It meant letting go of the steady income, security, and respect (from others) that a full-time, traditional job brought. But I just couldn’t be convinced otherwise.

7 years later after having first declared my intention to act for a living, I have my friends and entire family in my corner. Now a full-time actor, I have starred in short films, music videos, plays, documentaries, and commercials while also working as a model for local magazines and stock images. It’s been an excellent lesson for me in understanding that a moment of courage when you’re at a crossroads is all it takes to develop a habit of taking healthy risks.

Over the years, the risks and chances that I’ve taken with regard to my career have all come together to affirm that everything comes at a cost – it’s just a matter of whether it’s a cost you’re willing to pay. I don’t necessarily believe that luck is the deciding factor in whether these risks end up paying off. Rather, I believe it takes striking a particular balance between strategy and belief in your instincts in order for your risks to bring you rewards.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
Hiya! I’m Shivani Desai and I’m a 24 year old actor from India currently living in Singapore. I grew up on a steady diet of movies and television so my inclination towards the entertainment industry happened early on in my life. I realised I wanted to be an actor when I was around 16 years old, told my parents about it at 18, began studying theatre at 19, started actor training at 22, and kicked off my profession as a full-time actor at 23. Getting to a place where I can call myself a working actor with zero uncertainty, shame, or fear has been quite the journey – replete with ups and many downs – but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I think professional achievements will come and go – it’s what you learn from them that stays. And I feel that the self-sufficiency I’ve acquired in my journey of working as an actor is what I consider to be my biggest achievement and what I’m most proud of. The world has forever been changed by the pandemic – the entertainment industry included – and to me, this shift has reminded me of the dire need to become versatile. Versatile not just as an actor, but as a person looking to work consistently in the entertainment industry. Actors are no longer just actors now. Having to work from the confinement of the 4 walls of my bedroom, stripped of the ability to physically interact with or collaborate with fellow artists, I have quickly built on my existing skillset to become my own director, cameraperson, DOP, sound IC, hair and makeup artist, costume designer, and editor as I film and submit self-tape auditions, create social media video content, and execute at-home self-portrait photoshoots. I’m a freakin’ one-woman show! The world is slowly “opening up” now, but these are vital skills and experiences that I will carry with me in my career as an actor – it has become apparent to me that I was severely limited and superficial in my abilities as just a performer before this. Understanding the various aspects and process of how the end product comes together has given me an enhanced appreciation of my craft. The self-sufficiency that comes with saying “I know the world is rapidly changing but I’m willing to change with it and reinvent myself” signifies an acceptance of your circumstances and an adaptability that allows for autonomous artistic creation like never before.

Having said that, valuing self-sufficiency and independence comes at the cost of being afraid to ask for help – both personally and professionally. The biggest challenge I’ve had to undergo is realizing the poor state of my mental health and taking charge of it. In early 2021, I was diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder after I decided to get help after over 6 months of being unwell. It was an incredibly uncomfortable and hard first step to take, but all it took was taking that first step, and the journey afterwards became a lot simpler. It’s been a valuable lesson in understanding that an obsession with self-sufficiency will only bring you down if you don’t learn to ask for help where necessary.
On the professional front, my biggest challenge was that I knew very little about the industry, and even the little I knew of it went straight out the window when the pandemic took over the world because that information was no longer relevant. Things were never going to return to normal, so the industry was adapting and changing every single day. To add to it, gatekeeping is a very real problem in this industry – for a reason I fail to fathom, the people in this industry are under the impression that information is a precious resource that must be preserved, What we should push for, instead, is the notion that giving others access to information allows for knowledge to be grown, shared, and deepened. I found myself in a situation where I was afraid to ask “stupid” questions – so I spent a decent amount of time looking for answers in a quest to be independent instead of just reaching out to people who had more industry experience than I did and building a community with them. A colossal waste of time and efforts! But also a great reminder to self that: “If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together.”

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
In my city? Singapore? Oh that’s easy! I’d take them to all the quaint little cafes and streets that you’d never find on popular travel blogs or recommendation sites. Skip all the major touristy attractions like the Sky Park at MBS, Singapore Flyer, Universal Studios, and the zoo. Instead, spend time walking in parks, along the beaches, taking a bus ride all around town, grabbing a bite at cafes, hawker centres, and restaurants offering foods of various cultures – Indian, Japanese, Thai, Italian, Malay, Chinese, German, Mexican – all of them! The charm of a city lies not in the big buildings but in the alleys, people, food, and culture!

Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
There are way too many people, groups, institutions, shows, and movies that have helped shape me into whom I’ve become – I’d be spending all day writing every single one of their names if I were asked to do it! So I’ll keep it succinct and say instead that I’d like to shoutout every single artist out there in the world, who’s working tirelessly against the forces of what society deems to be proper, productive, and profitable in their own big or little ways – whether it’s writing a poem, picking up a paintbrush, creating support groups for fellow creatives, making movies, starting book clubs, writing original songs, or teaching the very art that society didn’t allow them to practise. You’re all awesome and make the world a little easier to live in.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itsshivanidesai/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shivani-desai-1b4501153/?originalSubdomain=sg

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCltEZoOf4ZRRAQ1O5bz84Lg/videos?view=0