Meet Sophia Osmani | Influencer and Trauma Informed Specialist

We had the good fortune of connecting with Sophia Osmani and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Sophia, can you walk us through the thought-process of starting your business?

The idea came to me after a deeply traumatic breakup. I was in a serious, committed relationship where marriage was frequently discussed, but after the first few months I intuitively had a strong feeling that something was wrong. I couldn’t understand what it was at the time, but I knew with every ounce of my being that it wasn’t a normal relationship. My intuition sensed something I couldn’t see, and it left me questioning everything. Sadly, I could never find the answers. It wasn’t until after the breakup that I came across an Instagram profile on my explore page who’s posts were all about NPD: Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The posts described what it’s like to be in a relationship with a Narcissist, how to heal from the abuse (and trauma) the victim experiences throughout the relationship, and sadly, even afterwards. I had never heard of NPD or a narcissist, other than vaguely knowing that it describes someone who thinks much too highly of themselves or is obsessed with themselves. As I started reading, I gasped, my jaw was on the floor, and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to break out of my rib cage. Every. Single. Word. I was reading was as if someone finally put into words EXACTLY what I went through, all the emotions I felt, the inexplicable pain. The manipulation, the emotional landmines, even the word for word lines my ex would use were haunting phrases in front of me. Except this time, it wasn’t him saying them. So wait, there’s an actual name for what I went through?! For the first time, I felt seen and insanely validated, like someone had finally turned my chaos into something legible. It wasn’t just my intuition and something I struggled to explain to others. Terms like gaslighting, love bombing, future faking, mirroring, etc- which were all phrases I had never heard before that day; gave language to the confusion and pain. It was frightening how accurately the posts described my ex and our relationship. That’s when I realized there are legit definitions for the things that had been said and done to me. I started reading the comments and was blown away by the sheer volume of them. People were divulging their pain, agreeing with the posts, and relaying stories or specific arguments eerily similar to mine. It was difficult but comforting at the same time trying to grasp that all Narcissists are the same. Emotion after emotion was passing through me, some fleeting and some gripping my heart tight, but the one that took over was: I’m not alone. No matter what you’re going through in life, it’s such a powerful feeling to know you’re not alone. That feeling hits even harder when you’re going through something traumatic or painful. I went on to discover that there is an abundance of these types of accounts on Instagram and TikTok, the comment sections filled with victims whose pain is unbearable, who feel alone, have no one to talk to, or are simply struggling to understand why Narcissists behave the way they do. It truly provided a sense of community. I also discovered that many of the creators are therapists or trauma informed specialists who have personally experienced this specific type of abuse and now guide others to heal or find the courage to leave.

The more I learned about NPD and the devastating and life altering abuse Narcissists cause, the more validated and empowered I felt. Prior to that relationship, I had NO knowledge about any of this and because of that, I was unable to understand that the red flags were not just screaming red flags but were bright red darts being hurled at me one by one until all I could feel was the raw, aching pain from the wounds. That agonizing heartbreak and confusion trying to understand why someone who “loved” me would “hurl sharp red darts at me” depleted every ounce of me. But at that point, my reality became that knowledge is power and when you know better, you do better. One of my favorite, insightful sayings couldn’t be more true in that moment: we live life forward, but learn it backwards.

What started as me trying to Instagram my way out of the emotional wreckage turned into a full blown fascination with NPD, and now I help others connect the dots between charm, chaos, and control. Even if you may be aware of the red flags, it’s extremely difficult to see what’s being done to you when you’re emotionally attached and don’t have distance from the relationship. At first this passion started out small, with me responding to comments sharing certain parts of my relationship, unhinged things that were said to me during arguments, or simply telling others they’re not alone and that I was available if they needed someone to talk to. Many of them did reach out to me and were incredibly appreciative.

My knowledge about NPD continued to grow and along with that, girls I naturally connected with would open up to me about their relationship. They would spill their relationship tea to me—sometimes in tears, sometimes in total confusion. Every single anecdote they would tell me would scream *Narcissist.* I would explain NPD to them and why their boyfriend or husband was acting like a certified chaos agent, and leave them utterly stunned. Their gratitude for the clarity and support I provided inspired me to consider transforming this passion into a business dedicated to coaching others affected by narcissistic abuse.

One specific instance stood out to me in a disturbing way. A friend would call me up to 3 times a day wanting to talk about why she was upset, confused, or to tell me that her boyfriend wasn’t speaking to her. I would comfort her, provide knowledge on exactly why his actions are what they are, but nothing would change. This is someone who saw a therapist regularly and learned about NPD in her college psychology classes! I asked her if she would feel comfortable seeing a trauma informed specialist who specifically works with clients who are experiencing or have experienced NPD abuse. She told me she’s been seeing her current therapist for quite some time and likes the fact that she is already familiar with her struggles. I then asked if she asked her therapist’s opinion on whether or not her boyfriend is a narcissist, thinking that there had to be some other way for this to get through to her. She told me she did, and that her therapist said no, she did not see that in him. I was deeply disturbed. How was it possible that I could see it SO undeniably clearly but an educated professional couldn’t??? At the very least, shouldn’t she recognize the toxicity and emotional damage right in front of her? I was literally unwell at the thought that a “professional” with a degree was so wildly ill trained that she couldn’t see narcissism or toxic behavior within a romantic relationship. Should I start handing out therapy degrees myself?? The hits kept coming. My friend proceeded to tell me that she confided in two other friends about her boyfriend and shared my opinion of him. BOTH friends disagreed with me. Once again, I explained the cycle of this type of relationship to her, and predicted exactly what would happen moving forward. Weeks later, she confirmed to me that I was right, that she was shocked, and that she was ending it. It took everything in me not to say “I told you” and instead, tell her I was proud of her for being strong and leaving him before she gets more attached.

The more coaches and podcasts I came across, the more I noticed that there were major gaps in the information put out to victims. There are certain aspects of being with a Narcissist that are not addressed at all. All of the therapists and coaches I have seen are much older, having been married to a Narcissist for decades. Before you come at me, I don’t say this to age shame anyone! With age comes experience and their experience is what gives them the ability to help others. However, with age comes certain factors like the fact that there was no social media when they experienced NPD abuse. I noticed that in India, NPD is highly prevalent yet there is SUCH an extreme lack of knowledge about it. Things like that were also a driving factor in pushing me to want to bring awareness about this specific type of abuse, but in a way that hasn’t already been done. My intention is for victims to have information that can bring clarity to their specific situation, as no two Narcissists are exactly the same. More importantly, I want them to feel like they’re talking to their best friend–a well equipped best friend who specializes in helping them heal. A best friend who won’t just tell them what they want to hear, and who won’t simply say “Why don’t you just leave him then?” I’m a major believer in signs from the Universe, and all of a sudden I started to receive several confirming to me that I need to do this and that it’s my calling.

That’s how *Your Bestie for the Restie* came to life. The idea comes from a simple truth: “Everyone has that one best friend who listens to them talk about the same sitch over and over and over again (usually the Narcissist) until they get over it and finally start to move on. I’m here to be that best friend but with tools, insight, and trauma informed care to help you not only vent, but truly understand what’s happening and gently begin to heal”. Behind the scenes (meaning I haven’t publicly posted about it) I quietly began coaching victims of NPD abuse. As a trauma informed specialist I approach healing with deep awareness of how trauma affects the brain, nervous system, and behavior. I create a safe space, validate my clients, and offer language to describe their experiences, all of which reduces confusion and self-blame. Among many other things, I teach nervous system regulation, manage triggers, and help regulate trauma responses. What started as informal support, or just two girlfriends having a heart to heart, turned into something much deeper: a mission to walk with people through the messy and painful process of recovery with empathy, clarity, and zero judgment.

By the time this article comes out, it will have been one year since I started! This milestone and the honor of being featured in your magazine seemed like the perfect time to go public with this. I’m proud to reveal that I have linked my coaching information in my Instagram bio!! You may be surprised to know a significant number of my clients are based in India. This business started as something small to do on the side, but within a year I now have over 80 clients! *Screaming* Little me would never believe that I could create a business of my own or that it would be successful. A business that not only helps people, but that brings me fulfillment and joy. I am currently gathering feedback from my clients regarding a support group consisting of all of them and myself in order to provide emotional support and a sense of community. I have also had discussions with podcasting networks about launching my own show, which marks an exciting step forward in the growth of Your Bestie For the Restie. I could not be more invigorated and overjoyed to see what other blessings and opportunities come my way while I help others heal!
If you know someone who might be experiencing narcissistic abuse, please feel free to have them reach out to me. Having been through it myself, I can confirm that hearing from a compassionate, unbiased voice can make all the difference—especially when friends with the best intentions might unintentionally push them to leave before they’re ready.

Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?

I truly believe that in order to set oneself apart from others in any business, you have to disrupt the field of work that you’re in. Take Kim Kardashian for example, you can hate on her all you want but the reality is that she saw a gap in the shapewear market due to a lack of products available to her in her own personal experience wearing them. She reasoned that if she was facing this challenge, others likely were too, and she was totally right. But unlike most, she had the unique advantage of a large public platform, allowing her to promote and scale her business at a pace most only dream of. When I first began considering my own coaching business, it was for the same reason—I had faced the very same issue. I found myself searching for guidance from specialists in narcissistic abuse, only to come up short on the answers and support I so deeply needed.

There are several aspects of my knowledge and coaching that allow me to be a disruptor and set me apart from other Trauma Informed Specialists. As I previously mentioned, many of the therapists and coaches I’ve come across are significantly older, often having spent decades married to a narcissist. While they do share content on social media, their experiences don’t always reflect the current dynamic, specifically, navigating a relationship with a narcissist who has the power and reach of social media at their fingertips. Social media is such a powerful resource and adds an entirely new layer to narcissistic abuse, especially during the love bombing and discard phases. Towards the end of the relationship during the discard and smear campaign, this platform becomes a weapon. Mutual friends or followers become silent witnesses, or even participants, as the narcissist controls the narrative, damages your reputation, and reinforces their own false image. I believe it’s so important for victims to have someone they can talk to who truly understands, someone who can genuinely empathize with the pain and chaos that comes with navigating social media during and after abuse. It takes more than just saying “block him”, it takes thoughtful, informed guidance from someone who’s been there.

As I continued working through my own experience, I began to notice a major gap in the content shared by NPD abuse coaches; they rarely discuss what it’s like to be discarded by a narcissist. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Most of the messaging suggests that it’s the victim who ends the relationship or marriage and walks away. That narrative really bothered me, because it doesn’t reflect the reality of many others. I found myself searching for answers and validation that were nowhere to be seen. I can confidently speak to this overlooked aspect of narcissistic abuse. I work with clients who weren’t the ones to end the relationship, and their stories matter deeply. There’s a torturous kind of pain that comes with being discarded without warning, without explanation, and without closure. It’s a level of emotional devastation that’s hard to put into words, and yet it’s something so many survivors are silently carrying. Since we’re on the topic of being discarded, there’s another aspect in relation to the discard that many NPD abuse coaches suggest is almost inevitable: the hoover. Once again, this is not always the case. Hoovering refers to when the narcissist reinitiates contact after the relationship has ended. Sometimes it’s a manipulative attempt to pull you back in, only to discard you again. Other times, it’s simply to disrupt your peace, to harass, provoke, or maintain control in any way they can. However, the reality is that when some narcissists are done, they are done and never to be seen or heard from again. It gives them a sense of power to leave you in the dark and erase you from their life as if you never existed. A victim who is experiencing this is likely to feel triggered and question their self worth even further upon seeing content about how to not engage when the ex narcissist hoovers. I believe it’s both misleading and careless for NPD abuse coaches to suggest that every narcissist inevitably hoovers. While hoovering is a common pattern, it’s not a universal one, and presenting it as such can do real harm. Victims who aren’t being hoovered are often left questioning why they were discarded so brutally and then seemingly forgotten. It adds another layer of pain to an already devastating experience. Seeing endless posts insisting ‘they always come back’ can make someone feel even more invisible or unworthy, when in reality, the silence can be just another form of the narcissist’s control. I take pride in the fact that I have enough knowledge about these aspects to notice that there is a lack of information about them. I work to fill those gaps to make those who experience these parts of NPD abuse feel seen.

When I mention that many of my clients are based in India, it may sound random. However, there are a number of reasons for this. Narcissism is staggeringly prevalent in India, yet there is a tragic lack of awareness and education around it. This is a country where a significant portion of the population holds immense wealth, often accompanied by forward thinking values, modern lifestyles, higher education, and a global outlook that mirrors a lifestyle similar to our own. At the same time, an even larger segment remains deeply (and stubbornly) rooted in more traditional, conservative, backwards, and closed-minded perspectives. These are the families who will not allow their children to date. These families prefer their children marry someone of their choosing–whom they do not get to spend time with alone prior to getting married. They stigmatize girls who dress a certain way, who have a “broken engagement” and the most obvious: who are divorced. I’ve had the unique advantage of visiting India many times and witnessing this disparity firsthand. I’m familiar with the culture, religions, and traditions, which gives me a deeper understanding of the societal dynamics at play. What many people in the U.S. may not realize is that in many Indian families, it’s customary for the daughter to marry and move into her husband’s home which is shared with his parents and extended family. There are exceptions in which the couple lives on their own, but it is not the norm. For those familiar with NPD, it’s well understood that many male narcissists have deeply enmeshed and unhealthy relationships with their mothers. Now imagine living under the same roof as your mother in law, without the ability to create emotional or physical distance. Navigating this dynamic can be incredibly complex and emotionally taxing. However, because I understand the cultural context, I’m able to gently support and guide my clients toward a place of emotional safety. I help them challenge deeply ingrained conditioning, like the belief that divorce is not an option. I also bring the perspective of someone who has personally experienced this dynamic. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who not only had (likely still has) a deeply enmeshed, unhealthy relationship with the women in his family, but whose entire family displayed narcissistic traits as well. That layered experience allows me to hold deep empathy for my clients because I truly understand how overwhelming and isolating it can feel when the dysfunction doesn’t stop with just one person, but is woven into the fabric of the entire family. When narcissism runs through an entire family, it creates a deeply entangled web of control, manipulation, and emotional isolation. I would see the interactions and conversations my ex would have with his family and witness an entire household where gaslighting, guilt, and control are the norm. I strongly believe that being born and raised in America, but having knowledge about narcissistic families and the lifestyles in India, I am able to get through to them in ways other coaches may struggle to.

I would like the world to know that no matter where a victim may be located, they can reach out to me and I will take the time to assess their specific struggles before I reply. I genuinely care, and will not simply respond with an insulting sentence thanking them for contacting me and that they should book a session with me to discuss further. It costs nothing to offer someone in pain even a brief moment of solace. I can personally attest that gestures like that are deeply felt and never overlooked.

My main challenge was the fear of being seen. When I first stepped into the influencer space, switching my IG from private to public, posting outfit pics, and tagging brands—I was deep in imposter syndrome territory. But It was something I was innately passionate about and wanted to do. I bought a tripod and put together outfits and built up the courage to stand outside alone getting photos of myself. The first time pressing “post” was the most challenging, but then I came across a saying that truly resonated with me and that I still remind myself of today: It’s only cringe until it works.

Once again, little me would have never believed that my content would actually receive engagement or that brands would reach out to me for collaborations and paid posts. Even more surprising is realizing I now resemble the models I once admired as a child. Models I looked up to, hoping someday to be as stylish, striking, confident, and glowing. A recent dream moment regarding this was receiving an email from Victoria’s Secret stating that I am now a Victoria’s Secret and PINK creator! The email detailed my tasks and new products they would like me to post about. When I was younger I loved wearing VS Pink loungewear. The sweats, tops, and hoodies made me feel like an IT girl. I can confidently say that I was never a Bath and Body Works girly because I was obsessed with the scents of the Victoria’s Secret body sprays and lotions. Opening that email was truly a magical, full circle moment.

Since my coaching business is still in its early stages, I feel myself slipping back into the same sentiment: the fear of being seen. It’s a completely new industry for me, and while I’m quietly confident in my deep understanding of NPD, especially the aspects that often go unspoken, I still face the challenge of convincing others of my expertise. As I mentally overcome this, I’m learning that the quality of my work and style of coaching speaks for itself. Those who are benefitting from my kindness and knowledge refer me to others, which is a huge compliment.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?

I am living for this question! Anyone who knows me knows that I live that Aperol spritz princess life because I’m always mentally on a yacht in Capri. Tower Bar, which is tucked inside the effortlessly iconic Sunset Tower Hotel, serves the Aperol Spritz of dreams. It’s impeccably mixed, elegantly served with a metal straw, and poured into a glass the size of my head. Basically, one or two is the perfect vibe. You’re welcome in advance. But wait, it gets more divine. This restaurant also serves the best chopped salad and crispy fries that you will now crave forever. I may or may not need a Tower Bar aperol and fries sponsor at this point. It’s my fav place to go for lunch on a warm, sunny weekday and sit outside by the pool. The people watching is unmatched, there’s somewhat of a view of the city and it’s oddly peaceful but entertaining at the same time. It would feel wrong not to mention the bathroom’s aesthetics and how it has the perf selfie or ootd mirror. If dinner is more yur thing, Friday evenings are the most fun. There’s live jazz music, the whole restaurant is packed, and you usually come across some interesting people in the bar area.

Cecconi’s in West Hollywood is also a classic and another fav restaurant of mine to go to for a weekday lunch. Living in LA requires the skill of knowing which days are a better vibe at certain places since weekends aren’t the only days people go out here. Speaking of which, Delilah is fun on Sunday nights. I know, random? But I don’t pick the days the restaurants have a more aesthetic crowd and live music. It’s completely dark inside and photos aren’t allowed, so unless you’re sneaking some in the bathroom or without a flash, you’re forced to live in the moment and actually enjoy the live music.

I have to be basic (only for a second) and say Nobu in Malibu, but not for the food, for the ambiance. It’s literally ON the water so the view is unreal. There’s something so calming about listening to the waves crash while you eat lunch outside in the sunshine. Taverna Tony has good food but it’s on the other side of the street inside Malibu Country Mart, so there’s no view of the ocean. Trés tragic. Sunlife Organics is right next to it, so if you’re having a casual day you can grab a smoothie or acai bowl and take it to the beach. The beaches in Malibu are private and clean, so it’s totally worth it to make the drive instead of settling for Santa Monica.

The thing I love the most about LA is that each area is so different from the one right next to it. West Hollywood is right next to Beverly Hills, but the restaurants are much trendier and the crowds are different. The Maybourne in Beverly Hills has a rooftop restaurant with stunning views, but in my opinion the food is quite subpar. Their cafe downstairs, which is more casual, actually has better food. Oftentimes in LA, you’re paying for the ambiance and not necessarily the food. I’m such a hot girl walk girly because walking is one of my simple pleasures. I love getting a smoothie or iced matcha and croissant from Alfred’s or Cha Cha matcha and getting my steps in. It’s such an underrated way to spend quality time with a girlfriend and have uninterrupted heart to hearts.

I feel like people either forget or take for granted that we have so many staycation options. Laguna Beach is definitely a journey, but once you get there and see the ocean, all of your road rage dissipates. Staycationing for a couple nights at a resort like the Montage or Surf and Sand, where you’re right on the water and can lay out at the pool while looking at the ocean is the perfect way to get out of the city for a minute. Laguna Beach also has great restaurants like Javier’s, Joey, and Mastro’s. I think we get so used to life in LA that we forget what it feels like to leave our little bubble and be around different kinds of people or even a slower pace of life, even if it’s for a weekend.

Obviously Beverly Hills has top tier spas, and anything luxury if you’re into self care. The massages at the Four Seasons Hotel are to die for and some of the mani/pedi salons here make you want to move in. Townhouse, which is a nail salon that originated in the UK, recently opened up a location in Beverly Hills. They do lashes/brow as well but it’s my fav mani/pedi spot and I love that it’s close enough that I can walk there.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?

When I first shared that I was thinking about starting my own coaching business Ali cheered me on the loudest and offered unwavering encouragement. She has been my biggest fan, cheerleader, and supporter throughout the initial starting phase. She continues to hype me up and help in any way she can. She was an angel in human form and she’ll never know how much her faith in me during that delicate time meant!

Annie K and Fiona S, whom I spoke to separately, each informed me with great care and empathy that my ex was not “bipolar” but was in fact, a very extreme (in the worst way) narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. They each spoke to me with such compassion and reassured me that what I went through was very real, and that I need to be validated. Their words stick with me till this day.
Anita K, who’s words and knowledge adamantly sought to reassure me and reinstall my self worth.
I saved the main character for last: my mom, who’s daughter I would choose to be in every lifetime.

Website: https://linktr.ee/sophiaosmani

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sophiaosmani

Image Credits
These are my own personal photos