We had the good fortune of connecting with Palmer Davis and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Palmer, what principle do you value most?
Anyone ever have one of these evenings? Your daughter comes home from school, softball practice, finishes homework, eats dinner… you’re about to take a shower and get into bed and in walks your child and mumbles something …You holler from behind your Dean Koontz novel, “What? They repeat, “Mom, I forgot I have a history assignment due… and I left my book in the parking lot cause I was waiting for you and you were late.” Yes, she said it. It was Your Fault!! You freeze, the blood rises to your forehead, you throw the covers off, stomp downstairs in your pajamas, get your car keys, and slam the car door shut. Child slinks into the back seat to avoid your hardened gaze and you peel out in search of “the damn book” One of the hardest parts in raising children is teaching personal responsibility. We simply don’t’ want our children to fail. And I believe it’s getting even harder as we face increasing competition, social media distraction, and the almost unconditional acceptance of being a helicopter parent. In fact, if we dare allow our children to fend for themselves, fail, or suffer the consequences of their actions, we are at risk of being called in by child services. I know this so well because I’ve done it, on both sides! I know I’ve covered for my daughter and my mother covered for me. But years later I question whether it did more harm than good. When we constantly cover for our children, make excuses for their poor choices, or pacify them with candy and other food indulgences, we have to ask ourselves, Am I raising a strong responsible future adult? Am I raising this child to be responsible for themselves? Personal Responsibility is a concept that seems to be drifting into extinction and I fear for the health of our country, children, and us. It seems children today expect their parents to take care of them well into their 20’s to save them from hardship and poverty. We want the government to provide free healthcare and free college. And after years of eating the wrong foods, drinking too much, stressing over who said what in the last PTA meeting… we want a nice little pill to fix us. By this point I expect I’ve offended over 50% of you. I do try to be sensitive. As a personal trainer and nutrition coach it’s a part of my job to understand what obstacles my clients are facing: Challenges from their childhood, a byproduct of a spiteful divorce or the recipient of an excruciatingly slow metabolism. I am empathetic to anyone who has gone through tough times or faces challenges with their health. But, there is a difference between understanding and indulgence. And there is a statute of limitations for everything! I realized that by indulging in personal dramas and excuses, I was doing a disservice to those I was trying to help: kids and clients included. But I have seen too much and I can’t pretend anymore. Imagine, for a moment if you would, a world where we asked ourselves “Am I doing what I can to help myself?” Am exercising? Am I eating vegetables? Do I have a routine to ensure I sleep enough? Am I in a toxic relationship? Am I toxic? Do I even understand what toxic is? Did I read the directions? Was I listening? What was my part in it? Easier said than done, right? There is always an excuse, a reason or justification to explain it away. We are so clever, especially when we’re manipulating ourselves! We can believe anything we want. I even convinced myself my closet was shrinking my clothes. As time passed the fibers in the pants were binding tighter together creating a muffin top as I squeezed the zipper shut. It couldn’t have been me!! My nightly ritual of brie and chardonnay had nothing to do with the shrinkage of my pants. And I actually believe this for 6 months. The same way it was my mom’s fault that I forgot my history book. Oh, yeah, that was me. We have never been as dependent on drugs, treatments and cures as we are today. In our acceptance of curvy and plus size figures, we’ve forgotten about the diabetes and high blood pressure that comes along with those curves. I’m not talking about being curvy voluptuous; I’m talking curvy as in severely overweight: the same comorbidities that increase our risk of Covid 19. Oops, I’ve just offended another 15% of the readers. That only leaves a few left. Maybe I should take it back? Delete what I’ve written. No, I can’t. I’ve seen the struggle to much. In my own family I’ve seen how type 2 diabetes can devastate health. I know the challenge of balancing blood sugar; the insulin reactions, the blackouts, and the endless fight with food addiction. I’ve worked in a retirement homes for over 10 years and have watched residents lose toes, become wheel chair bound because their joints can’t support their weight, knees have givin out, witnessed the demise from Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s dementia and loss of hope. So, no, I can’t take it back. I’ve learned it can take a really long time to die. There, I said it. I’ve seen it. I actually didn’t intend on getting so deep. But now, I can’t go back. Because maybe, just maybe, one person out of the 6 readers left, might actually say, “This is me.” You might be even be getting a little emotional. Wait…hold on…before you take another breathe… don’t judge. It is what it is. Never judge. If you’re that one person, I congratulate you! I wish I could be with you right now and hug you, because you are the one in a million. You are the brave soul who has consciously decided that they will no longer blame their parent, their ex, their circumstance for who or what you have become. This is the moment the magic happens. Now is when change can actually begin. I urge you, my one person out there, do something about it right now. Don’t wait until the feeling has passed and you go back into denial and old habits. Write it down. Journal the truth you are feeling in this very moment. Make a phone call and commit to someone to change. Call me! Just do it… today! Lastly, before I go, my one person still reading, don’t be afraid to let your child fail. There are so many lost opportunities for growth when we protect them from their friends, their teachers, themselves. These moments can be Golden if we let them. If you’re reading this, it means you care. You are already there for your kids and family. Help them help themselves by becoming accountable for themselves. And most importantly, You be accountable to You! Our world will be at its strongest when all look into our heart and accept where we have been without judgement and decide to make the changes necessary to become our strongest, healthiest and most wonderful versions of ourselves. Cheers and Blessings to all. Palmer
Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
The Palmer Dance Experience is Optimal dance/fit cross training with a foundation in tradtional dance. As a competitive high school athlete and professional dancer I understand the value of cross training and flexibility to stay healthy. Once you have experienced what it feels like to be completely free in your body, you can never go back to regular training. PDX moves the body in all 360 degrees of motion. This includes sensual undulations and yummy contractions where the body actually releases tension and discovers small hard to reach connective tissue, muscles and tendons that are easily ignored in traditional fitness training. The dance movment in addition to weights, bands, intervals and cardio, lengthens, strengthens and coordinates the body in ways other programs never even addres. The dance movement also challenges the brain with patterns, combinations and cross cortical movement which has been proven to slow the onset of Alzheimer’s and dementia. Most importantly we go hard, have a lot of fun and never miss an opportunity to get a little sexy.
Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
Any outdoor cafe is on the top of my list. Le Pain Quotidien in Encino offers a nice cup of joe and great healthy meals. If you’re up for some theatre, check out The Whitefire in Sherman Oaks or listen to some sexy jazz at the Vibrato Grill on Beverly Glen Circle. The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
In rememberance of my Dad who instilled the power of positive thinking, I will keep your legacy alive.
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