We had the good fortune of connecting with Tracey & Iliana Harvey and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Tracey & Iliana, how does your business help the community?
Satisfying and meaningful relationships make us happier and healthier. Life is fraught with challenges, stressors, and circumstances that are beyond our control—for example, the COVID-19 pandemic, health issues, stress and overwhelm from work, or even minor hassles like shattering your iPhone screen or dealing with a critical coworker. Life is hard at times, but what makes life easier, more manageable, and more fulfilling is the quality of our relationships. Healthy relationships sprinkled with love, affection, appreciation, and generosity create a space for vulnerability and imperfection. This combination enhances our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. On the other hand, unhealthy relationships marked by criticism, unrealistic expectations, blame, or jealousy often leads to loneliness, stress, disconnection, angst, etc. Negative behaviors and emotions cannot co-exist with deep love and satisfaction in a relationship. Negative emotions can also affect our quality of life and take a toll on our mental and physical health. We can deal with life stressors more productively when we have someone by our side whom we can count on—someone who acts as a teammate rather than an opponent, as a source of motivation and support rather than a critic, and as a friend rather than a competitor. The problem is, most of us aren’t taught or modeled what makes for a healthy, loving relationship, nor the necessary skills to be the best partner we can be. We aren’t taught how to resolve conflict without exerting blame or criticism, how to reflect and express our emotions accurately, how to communicate our needs productively, how to listen to another without becoming defensive, or how to accept and appreciate differences. Because Relationship 101 isn’t on the national agenda, this concept became a source of inspiration that has led to our mission as a business.
Our business helps singles find and keep healthy, blissful relationships by learning essential relationship skills and psychological principles behind relationships. Singles hold an advantage, as they’re in an ideal situation where they can learn what it takes to be in a good, lasting relationship while also gaining insightful self-reflection. The quality of our relationships reflects the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves—meaning, good relationships start from the inside out. We guide our clients through a meaningful self-discovery journey by examining their core values, reflecting on past relationship patterns, and exploring any limiting beliefs that may be hindering their ability to find genuine love. Self-reflection allows our clients to discover their innate potential to be their best, authentic selves, so attracting their ideal partner is greatly heightened. We also provide crucial relationship skills, such as effective communication and listening techniques, replacing unrealistic expectations with more positive ones, letting go of assumptions and welcoming in curiosity, and regulating negative thought patterns to be the best person and partner they can be.
On a larger scale, our vision is that all relationships can be transformed through meaningful connections and safe, open communication; relationships in which differences are accepted and honored so we can gradually create a world where the quality of life and fulfillment as a whole is enhanced. Productive communication skills, acceptance and understanding of others, and connecting beyond differences aren’t just necessary for romantic relationships. These skills and qualities allow us to be more productive and nurturing parents, more effective and creative coworkers and bosses, compassionate friends and family members, and overall kinder human beings. Fulfilling relationships create a good, meaningful life. We hope that a snowball effect occurs with one couple at a time—compassion, love, and joy filter into the community, translating into a more positive and compassionate world.
What should our readers know about your business?
Tracey is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, and is currently working on her Ph.D in Clinical Sexology. Iliana earned her B.A. in Sociology from UCLA, is a certified Relationship Coach, and is currently a graduate student, working towards her Master’s in Clinical Psychology. Both Tracey & Iliana are certified Safe Conversations workshop leaders, which is based on Harville Hendrix and Helen La Kelly Hunt’s Imago Relationship principles.
The beginning of our mother-daughter venture began with our nerd nature of sharing podcasts and books on relationships, dating, mindfulness, happiness, and neuroplasticity. “It’s not that hard” was our running joke about relationships, followed by pensive sighs and the reality that relationships can be incredibly challenging and a source of pain, instead of pleasure. Our passion to prove relationships don’t have to be that hard fueled our inspiration to collaborate with one another, which led to the founding of our business, Harvey Relationship Institute. Our goal is to help singles find joyous, thriving relationships so that starting with one couple at a time, healthy relationships expand into the community and the world at large. We’ve developed an online dating program, The Smart Woman’s Formula for Finding Love (aka The Love Formula). Our goal is to teach others the key to successful relationships through the steps in the program, which is designed for smart and conscious women who recognize that the quality of love and relationships starts with the self. We’ve recently created The Smart Woman’s Formula for Finding Love Journal, which will be published on Amazon in July 2021. Our book, based on the Love Formula program, will make its debut later in the year.
The central premise of our work encompasses inner work and a lifelong commitment to self-reflection. Through clarifying core values, exploring relationship history, and releasing potential blocks, a confident and authentic self can emerge. Though self-awareness is important, it’s not enough. You can have all the awareness in the world, but that’s not what promotes change or growth, or creates a successful relationship. The Love Formula focuses on the application of self-awareness to daily life, embracing personal responsibility and changing unproductive thoughts and behaviors that may be self-sabotaging in finding love and joy.
While Tracey sees clients, individuals, and couples in her private practice, the goal of creating The Love Formula was to reach more people, thus more successful relationships. Tracey loves to joke that she didn’t even know how to do a powerpoint presentation several years ago, let alone create an online program from the bottom up. Though she admits that there were times when she wanted to throw her computer out the window, she has made technology her friend. Another challenge was marketing. She has a full private practice based on word of mouth, and while Iliana is a bit more tech-savvy, marketing skills and utilizing various social media platforms were definitely not her forte. However, we are continuing to learn and grow these skills, and embrace the challenge of marketing rather than resisting it. The lessons we’ve learned is to enjoy what you do and don’t forget the passion. When the work gets challenging and you want to throw the towel in, the passion reminds you of why you do what you do. Lastly, pace yourself and be gentle on yourself. Building a business takes time, patience, and perseverance.
Our brand and story… Well, when you put two passionate women together who share the desire to support people in creating joy within themselves and all their relationships, their enthusiasm is hopefully so wonderfully contagious! We are so grateful for our own mother-daughter relationship and our own Imago relationship training, which is the foundation in all of our work. We also love working together, not only because we like each other, but we also balance one another out quite well.
Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
We’d definitely have to show our guests all the natural beauty that LA has to offer. First, we’d head down to the Self-Realization center on Sunset Blvd, where the meditation garden and view of their beautiful lake is incredibly magical and soothing to experience! Then, we’d drive along PCH, head up the coast towards Malibu, and hike one of the amazing trails at Solstice Canyon. Then, after building up an appetite, we’d pick up some takeout at either Cholada Thai or Malibu Seafood on PCH, and sit along the beach–enjoying the stunning view of the ocean, while chowing down some well-deserved food! The following day, we’d take them on a long, morning walk along the beach in Santa Monica, and pick up fresh arepas (a delicious Venezualan dish) for breakfast from Cafe Bolivar. Later in the day, we’d have to show them LACMA. It’s one of our favorite places to bring over a picnic, relax and enjoy the atmosphere, while listening to some jazz or Latin music. There’s also tons of cool exhibits to check out! To conclude a fabulous weekend, we’d head over to Sakura, a Japanese Restaurant in Culver City. We’ve been going there since Iliana was a little girl, where most of the servers and sushi chefs knew her by name! They have the freshest, most flavorful, and affordable sushi in LA, a must-try for any sushi lovers who visit us! And of course, for dessert, we’d have to cross the street and pop into Angel Maid Bakery to enjoy their epic cream puffs!
Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
We’d like to dedicate our shoutout to our significant others!
Iliana: My boyfriend, Matthew, has been such an incredible source of support, love, and inspiration from day one. With all my projects, graduate school work, and aspirations, he always takes on the role of being my cheerleader. Whether he’s encouraging me when I’m feeling overwhelmed, or offering his help in any way he can, he continues to show genuine interest and belief in me and all my ideas. He’s an incredible person and I’m extremely grateful for our supportive relationship.
Tracey: My husband, Michael, has been a remarkable, loving partner and I appreciate all of his patience and support. I have a tendency to get so caught up in my work and forget about everything else, and then I receive an amazing text telling me dinner is ready. I love having a husband who enjoys cooking and trying new recipes, and who also doesn’t mind doing the grocery shopping. He is also a great sport–he’s very open-minded and is always willing to try new things, such as taking salsa lessons or a mindfulness course with me. He is continually supporting me with enthusiasm for my creative endeavors and is always a willing subject for hypnosis when I’m trying out something new.
Facebook: Attracting & Keeping Genuine Love https://www.facebook.com/groups/AttractingGenuineLove